Reverie

2004-09-05T19:52:00.000-04:00

Alright guys... I regret to inform my hardcore bloggers that I shall be getting rid of this blog. Of course, I'm not going completly blogless that would just be silly. I'm just moving to Blog-City because its hella better than blogger. The new site will be: http://someonetoblame.blog-city.com

Thank you all for loving my blog! hehe

*Reverie*

2004-09-04T23:20:00.000-04:00

Alright, did nothing today, or yesterday. Tomorrow gotta stupid pool party I gotta go to.

Nothing new to report. Had a stupid dream last night and I thought it was real for a bit. Then I reliezed me and Becca can't drive tractors around town... so... yeah... that stunk.

Alright... done for now.

No lyrics tonight... too lazy.

*Reverie*

2004-09-02T18:38:00.000-04:00

Alright folks.

Last full day of work... went out with a bang. lol Alright... theres this guy named Aric at work but we call him george. Why? I don't know. But just know he is a perv. A total and utter perv and gives everyone the heebee jeebees. of course... Jill enjoys encouraging him because I think it gives her some serious personal amuesment. lol Anyway, the office discovered that there was like 5 people that were wearing pink today. Including one of the mirabitos I forget which one. Anyway, Aric came in the room and was buggin the chicks in there and Stacy was like "george where's your pink? You have no pink on you!" And he goes "I'll show you where I have something pink..." and it was like Oh... sweet... jesus... what the hell. I wasn't there at the time when this happened but I was told after. And we were talking about it and how George is a perv and about his pink bunny. Because he has a pink bunny sitting on his desk for some reason and we were cracking up cause we're dirty dirty people and he walks by and Jill goes "shhhh he's coming!" And so Stacy Jill and I get reallly quiet and George comes in and just stands in the door way and I am litterally shaking with laughter. And George gets all close to me and is like "heather are you hyper ventilating?" and I hear Stacy snort behind me and I look over at Jill who has picked up tickets and covered her face with them but is like peering at me through laughter. And I was like *suppressed laughter* "no george... I'm fine.." "You don't look fine, your face is all red." Jill just pipes up "Yeah it is all red! well.. its more pink now. She just felt left out cause she isn't wearing pink today George." This of course starts George goin' at Stacy and he's all "Oh yeah Stacy I never showed you whats pink on my outfit!" And Jill just butts in "we know what it is! Its the your pink bunny!" (remember he has a pink bunny on his desk people...) and George is like "yeah thats it!" or something like that I was dying from silent laughter so this part is blurred. lol But then he bunny hopped like 2 feet and I was just like... oh lord... wow... I dunno, was an interesting day lemme tell you. That was one story but there were a few today. I may actually miss work because it lasts less time than school and theres no homework. That and theres conversation like above. Oh and my boss left early to go to an American Idol concert and Jills like "okay." and when she leaves the room I turn to Jill like O.o What? And she was all "I don't ask..." I mean... really... an American Idol concert... come on Marie... Anyway, glad my summer jobs over. Though I've started hating it less lately and now I leave but whatever.

Thats about all for now.

*Reverie*

Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?

Hey you, don’t help them to bury the light
Don’t give in without a fight.
Hey you, out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?

Hey you, with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?

Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I’m coming home.
But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Hey you, standing in the road
Always doing what you’re told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?

Hey you, don’t tell me there’s no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.

-Hey You, Pink Floyd

Good song I haven't heard in a looong time.

2004-09-01T20:07:00.000-04:00

It's so simple and complicated.
The way you can crush me.
No matter how much this hurts, this is through.
I get as far as your door before i get caught.
I make up excuses just to touch you and I can't stop, I can't stop.

So are we playing for keeps?
These days begin and they don't end for weeks.
Leave me left out of anything to do with you.
Excuse me while I fall apart.
Don't flatter yourself sweetheart.
Let me take the wheel and I'll crash this car.
Do you have to make this so hard?

You're so good at pretending everything is alright.
You're as welcome as cancer, but my door is always unlocked.

So are we playing for keeps.
These days begin and they don't end for weeks.
Leave me left out of anything to do with you.
Excuse me while I fall apart.
Don't flatter yourself sweetheart.
Let me take the wheel and I'll crash this car.
Do you have to make this so hard?

You're so good...

-Playing for Keeps, Matchbook Romance (My one true love...... and look they're almost hot... haha)

2004-09-01T19:42:00.000-04:00

Woot, had to put the classic Adam song in my blog. btw... when he says "him" I mean her...ya know what I mean.. unless Adam digs guys... which is very very doubtful. But yeah, I don't actual miss Adam right now but I'm getting the anthem ready cause I've come to the conclusion I am NOT (repeat NOT!) calling him until he calls me sometime cause I always call him. So... this will be the anthem for a while...

Why haven't you called me?
Did you forget me?
I need to know...
When were you intending
To break the silence
And let me know?

Mine is the loneliest of numbers
Now is the loneliest of times
You're 19 days late, but still I sit and wait
Waiting and waiting, waiting and waiting, waiting and waiting
Waiting on you

Who have you been seeing
That made you forget me?
I bet you call him
Where, oh where does he come from?
I bet he lives close by
I bet he's just a friend

You've got me waiting on you
I asked you if you'd ever do me harm
You answered, 'Yes, I'll never do you harm'

-Waiting On You, Weezer

2004-09-01T19:22:00.000-04:00

Here's the Nixon victory... thing. Also known now as hail the copy machine fixer!!! WOOT!

2004-09-01T18:31:00.000-04:00

Hey guys.

lets see... went to work today... whoohoo. Talked about farting, burping, and a driver we've named a very dirty name ya know... the usual. haha Its greatness. My boss is trying to give me days to work and Justin days that aren't those days so we get kept apart. GRRRRR! Justins my homie! But its just cause Justin and I are the only part timers that know how to do more than applications and run the copy machine so she wants one of us there everyday. Though Sara started working there and shes all smart so she'll catch on quick. Speaking of the copy machine I have a story!

yesterday I went to make some copies and the copier had an error message that there was a jam. So this means some ass in the building broke it and ran away. So I was there for 20 minutes pulling the thing apart trying to find the supposed jam that was in there. When all it needed was more paper in one of the trays because the tray wasn't empty there was like at least 200 sheets in there but somehow it wasn't enough. I dunno, but when I fixed it I did the Nixon Victory sign (as photoed above) and danced while chanting "I am a copy machine god!!!" Boosted my self esteem for the day. Muwhahaha revenge of the lowly parttime employees! We can fix stuff you fulltime workers can't! Well... not usually... but it was a once in a lifetime thing.

Well thats all for now... I'll post more tonight when I feel like typing more.

*Reverie*

2004-08-31T18:15:00.000-04:00

Went to work. First day with no Justin... who I don't really miss after a REALLY screwed up dream last night... ew... anyway.

I was working in the board room and see... board room rules are usually whoevers in there first gets to pick the station and everyone else has to deal. Thusly why I know so many oldies songs and have heard Becky Holly bitch about "new music crap" for hours on end while swearing shes "forever a 50's girl." yeah whatever. Anyway, this guy comes in and I was there first. Thusly by the usual rules I have radio control. And he was all "will it bother you if I'm in here." and I was like "No not at all," and so he sits down 10 seconds later stands up and is like "I'm going to turn that off." and he goes over to the radio. It took a lot of restraint to keep from throwing my empty nector of the gods bottle at him. I was here first as was enjoying the lack of Becky and the ability to have the radio at just the right volume. Anyway, the guy goes to turn it off but can't figure it out. So instead of asking the lowly part time helper who was the one who turned it on in the first place he just unplugs it. I dunno, everyone who doesn't know me at the office or who works up front thinks I'm an idiot because I'm a teenager. It makes me mad.

Like, say that day when Becky Holley like tag teamed up with this old guy who was doing Mirabitos taxes. And they decided to teach me a few things about life, and unlike Jill and her unending but loveable rants they went on about how death is coming for me. But I don't know anything about death and I probably don't even think about it because I'm too young. I just wanted to tell them to shut the hell up. These people don't know me. I don't claim to be smart but for chrissakes with half the shit I've been through I think I deserve to be treated like more than a child. Gah, I get so angry I'm sorry I'll stop my I'm a teenager and I think I know everything rants.

So I went to lunch and got my schedule WOOT! But its screwed up so I have to go get it changed tomorrow... *not wooting*

Then I came back and went to work in my favoritist room with Stacie and Jill and they all had taco bell. It was like some unending nightmare. Aside from the wierd justin dream I had an Adam dream and in the Adam dream we went to taco bell and I ordered a lovely lovely taco and before I could eat it I woke up. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning wanting not only Adam but a taco with sour cream and lotsa cheese... *drool* Infact, the taco voided out the Adam thoughts and there I was at 4:30 in the morning trying to figure out how I could get my hands on a taco. Unfortunatly... it occured to me that you can't get a taco at 4:30 in the morning... so after much thought I got out of bed at 5:45 and went downstairs and had the left over pizza from yesterday. This was enough to make me not hungry but I didn't get back to sleep until 7ish and I had to get up at 8. So it kinda sucked... I feel like I'm being haunted be the ghost of a lonely bean burrito.

Well thats all for now gotta go to the store... like kmart... and I get to see someone hopefully. Not that I care cause I really... so don't... at all... don't care.... so don't care....

*Reverie*

See all those people on the ground
wasting time
I try to hold it all inside
but just for tonight
the top of the world
sitting here wishing
the things I've become
that something is missing
maybe I...
but what do I know

and now it seems that I have found
nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
slow it down, slow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
on my own..

-On My Own, The Used

2004-08-31T12:04:00.000-04:00

God has finally graced Sidney Highschool with the 2004-2005 schedules. I know you all are just dying to know my schedule because you need to know if you have to sit with my sarcastic ass everday for the next 10 months. Because if so you should probably change your schedule specially if its a morning class because you all know I am a not nice person if its before 11 AM. haha

Per 1: English 11, Seltz
Per 2: Math B2/B3, Althiser
Per 3: Studio Art, Williams (also.. who the hell is she? Wheres Mr. Liss... this is an outrage... she better be cool...)
Per 4: Speech, Seltz (again...)
Per 5: Junior/Senior lunch. WOOT! I can leave the campus! WOOT! Bow to me and my upperclassman power!! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA
Per 6: Chemistry, Pysnik
Per 7: Chem Lab (odd) Junior/Senior Gym (even)
Per 8: SS 11
Per9: studyhall

Okay thats it the official schedule had it changed today.

*Reverie*

2004-08-30T20:32:00.000-04:00

Today wasn't all the excitin. Hung out with Colleen and the Bookhouts and theys be funtabulous! hehehe Becca never did get her revenge! *frolicks evily*

I called Adam last night and we discussed mayhap hanging out today and he said he might call and he didn't. Well... at least he didn't say he super dooper would and then didn't... guess that makes it almost alright but not really... jerkface... Oh well, I am woman and can live without him hear me roar!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA *ahem* done. But I didn't get to show him all the things I learned... so his loss. haha Yeah don't ask... =P

Work tomorrow and there will be no Justin... *breaks into hysterical tears* Curse you all! But it IS the last week of actual work and that feels very very good I must say.

Thats about all.

*Reverie*

And you bring me to my knees again...
All the times
That I could beg you please in vain...
All the times that I felt insecure for you
But I leave my burdens at the door

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times that I felt like this won't end was for you
And I taste what I could never have it's from you
All the times that I've tried
My intentions... full of pride
But I waste more time than anyone

But I'm on the outside...

All the times that I've cried
All this wasted it's all inside
And I feel all this pain
Stuffed it down it's back again...
And I lie here in bed
All alone I can't mend
But I feel tomorrow will be okay...

Inside your ugly your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

-Outside, Staind

2004-08-29T19:22:00.000-04:00

I cleaned my room more today.

Might call Adam tonight if I can stop being a chicken.

The End.

*Reverie*

(Yeah I know, the blogs sucked lately but life has just been really boring so I have nothing to say.)

2004-08-28T15:21:00.000-04:00

Grr... had this long blog all written out and then my computer went all error retarded.... grrrrrrr!

So.. to recap: Hung out with Adam last night. Woot! Fun times! Tacobell's cool, as are his friends... but tacobells cooler...

Slept today. Cleaned my room. Theres a really high pitched ringing noise outside and its hurting my ears... curse you high pitched ringing noise!!!!

The End.

*Reverie*

We drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
The time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
Its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.

And if I could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go...
I'll never let go.

As we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"I'll be going through withdrawl of you for this one night we have spent."
and, I want to speak these words
but I guess I'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

and I... don't want to speak these words.
cause I, don't want to make things anyworse.

Why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts?
We'll skip the goodbyes.
If I had it my way,
I'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and I.

and I... don't want to speak these words.
cause I, don't want to make things anyworse.

-Tiger Lily, Matchbook Romance

2004-08-27T19:37:00.000-04:00

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

-Wonderwall, Oasis

Good song Becca told me about... Hopefully gonna see Adam tonight. I'm super dooper hoping work didn't kill the boy and he's too tired to chillax. I would be saddened if this happened but he gets tired easily... pansey... needs to work out... but I think he stresses too much. Needs to chillax! And who better to chillax with then me? Nobody! Cept maybe Enya... or like Norah Jones or something...

*Reverie*

2004-08-26T21:27:00.000-04:00

Whooo.

Alright, went to work today. Wasn't too bad. Hung out with the J man! hehe he told me I looked prettyful too. Well... actually... he just said my outfit was a change of pace and he liked it. Same diffrence. And he's goin' away next week! *cries* our last week of summer work and he won' be there!!!!!!!!! *more crying* he's my amigo!!! And he showed me his fancy fancy truck. Woot! It is really cute :)

Then I got out of work and Adam left me a voicemail saying his friends mom was really sick and her car was stuck in Binghamton and he needed to help her. I'm debating whether this is really really sweet that he is putting his own plans aside to help someone in need or it just sucks. I dunno, he apologized and everything so I can't be mad. And I'm not, he actually called. I'm training him well and I didn't really do anything to train him. Well... when he was 3 hours late I was dangerously quiet in his car but I dunno if he noticed... I think he did.... anyway, so instead I went to the shindig with Stephi and her Brad. They are so cute together... they are officially the only teenage couple I don't loathe.

But we got to the party and no one was there (this didn't change very much throughout the party mind you...) and there was this chiwhawha... oh man... the best part of the party revolved around that dog. I would like to note I am not exaggerating anything in this story at all... I'm tellin' it like it is. i couldn't make this up if I tried. So like Stephanie Brad Tony and I were standing around. There were a few others I didn't know they were friends of Brad and Tony. And I look over the chiwhawha is like barking at a tree and a cat comes out and I was like Yes! Cat Vs chiwhawha! so we start watching and the cat like slinks over to the dog and they start rubbing against each other and I was just thinkin' damn it there goes the entertainment. (though watching the tent fall over was slightly amuesing I must say.) And then the cat starts sticking its butt in the dogs face. Despite the oddness of this I'm like maybe its a greeting thing... dogs do it.. and my cat loves to stick her butt in my face cause she's a bitch. Then it took the "please mount me and have your way with me" position. I know this position because I own a cat and have seen it in various cat raising books. So I am all knowing on this topic. Anyway, then they went behind a bush for some "privacy" Tony of course tried to get a better look I dunno what happened though. Then! The best part of the story. the chiwhawha comes rolling out of bush out on its stomach legs sprawled and the cat is licking things that should not be licking. Basically, it gave the chiwhawha oral gratification. But I think everyone missed it but Stephanie and I because I was like grabbing Stephanie and gaping in horror and the whole... interspecies sickness. But Tony looked at was like "I must have missed it because they're smokin' a ciggerate now." hehe that kids a hoot.

But the rest of the party sucked. Well Tony and his friend played and they were good as usual. And Franny played and they were good but by that point I was gettin' eatin' by bugs and kept looking at my cell phone contemplating calling Adam which I just did now that i was thinking about it. Got his voice mail... curses... anywho. I got the Franny CD too. Frannys good for the soul. But all in all it was a reallyyyy bad party. Well except the part where the cat gav the chiwhawha oral gratification... that was definatly cool...

*Reverie*

let sun shine on us
And burn our skin
This change of season hasn't changed a thing.
This is the circle of our lives...

-One Season, Deconstruction of a Boy

Yeah that isn't actually how the song goes... well kinda.. thats just a few lines of it thrown together cause I'm too lazy to type them. Its a hella good song though. 'Tis my favorite song actually.

2004-08-25T21:40:00.000-04:00

Wooo.

Went to work today. Fun. Justin came in my room and visited me which was good cause I was all alone. He's a funny kid. Gotta love him.

Then I watched some Invader Zim... I heart Invader Zim! its so beautiful!

My dad brought me home hotpockets from the grocery store! Woot!!

Then I went for a walk with Dann for a bit and now I just wanna talk to Adam. But I called his phone and he didn't answer... I was saddened. Oh my Lord I hope we get to see each other tomorrow. Dann just made me miss him so much more than usual cause he isn't a douche bag like Dann is. Though Dann is great conversation and I know him so well. For example, we ran into some friend of Danns from upward bound and Stephanie Hitt was with him and she had this little dog with her. And Dann like cuddled with the dog and hopped toward it innocently. But see.. I know Dann. And so we walked away and I was like "You wanted to kick that dog didn't you...?" and he was laughed and was like "oh how well you do know me." I dunno he's so funny. I still love him oodles but its just friendly love. I mean, I don't mind flirting with him but nothing more. I care about Adam far too much for such things. *sigh* so I just wanna talk to Adam but Nooooooooooo he didn't pick up the phone. I told him to call me and he better! Grrrrr!! hehe I just miss him thats all. I'll stop now. hehe

Before I get off Rachel has decided to completly end her blog. Why? I don't know, if I did it I'm sorry but I don't know what I did. if you wanna email me and explain that would be nice.

Thats all for now. Hopefully I won't get to post tomorrow cause I'll either be with my Adasmpie or be rockin' out at the hella kick ass concerty party thing. Woot!!

*Reverie*

How was I to know you'd ever leave?
How was I to know you cared for me?
When every time I looked at you
You acted like I was a fool...
How was I to know the truth?

With all the times you ran away
I never thought that you would say
"I'm the one who's lonely now"
And all the times I never said I love you
Now you're in the bed with somebody and everyone else

How was I to know that I was wrong
When I was talking during your favorite song?
How was I to know that I was right
When I caught you in your lies the other night?

But somehow I know
That we're gonna be alright
Somehow I know that we're gonna be fine...

-Everyone, Socialburn

2004-08-24T22:55:00.000-04:00

I went to Kmart tonight. Mostly in hopes of seeing Adam but also I had to get cat food. Which I did both. I pretty much jumped outta my seat when I saw his car. Its such a cute car... lol And I went in and theres Adam like the lone ranger at the cash register. He was the only register open and there was little to no customers in the store so he was just standing there really bored and he saw me and gave me this wave that was like "my god I hate my life..." he's cute when he mopes... and I got the catfood it said it was 5.99 for a bag so I was like damn it... what the hell... the bags so small! But my cat won't eat anything else so it kinda sucks... damn inflation. But then I got to Adams asile and he rang it up as 4.32 and then he was a good man and used his employee discount on me. (what a sweet heart eh? lol) and so it was only 3 bucks and some odd change. And then I guess he was starved for human communication cause I was gonna go and let him get back to standing there but he kept talking... and talking.... I mean I love such things. But I didn't want to get him in trouble. But I guess it didn't matter. He asked if I wanted to hang out Thursday..... Thursday.. Why would God punish me like this? Its either a.) the kick ass party or b.) go cuddling with Adam and watching movies. Its so painful to choose you have no idea. I mean this is like... once in a great while kick ass party... I mean... Erie... franny... tony... come on! But... ohh... he's so sweet... GAH! Its so not right... I think I'm gonna hang out with the boy. Mind you if he's over an hour late I'm going to Afton. Its a great plan. And then if he calls after that he can pick me up from Afton. Anyway, he told me to call him and I felt bad cause he was so tired... like I swear he was falling asleep at the register. But I called him and we talked for a little while and I felt bad keeping him on the phone when he was so tired so it was a short conversation. But I feel special he wanted to talk to me. :) and he said he is gonna call me tomorrow. We'll see about this one....

Thats all for now...

*Reverie*

I´m just sittin´ here and don´t know what to do
there´s nobody here I could ask how to do
just me and myself and nobody else
Although you´re not here with me
I can hear your voice speakin´ to me
and when I close my eyes I can see your face
I know exactly what you´re about to say

It seems that I´m sittin´ here now for days
already now I feel their critical gaze on me
what would I give for just one damn word
but it´s just me and myself and nobody else

Maybe it´s the way you look at me
maybe it´s the way your smile makes me feel
maybe it´s the way you walk beside me
well something, somehow makes me so sure
well something, somehow makes me…

wanna just write ´bout what´s goin´ on inside
like you said I should try
right from the bottom of my heart
what I have on my mind
then there must be one more song for you
this is one more song for you

oh god are you sure that I deserve it?
oh god I don’t care if I deserve it.
but let there follow so much more I´m sure there will follow,
I´m sure there will follow so much more songs

-(One More) Song For You, Wonderwall

No idea who these people are but I liked the lyrics...

2004-08-24T22:17:00.000-04:00

Hey yalls! I found this Calvin and Hobbes comic strip on my computer. Its basically Stephanie and I in cartoon form so I thought I would share. hehehe

2004-08-24T18:57:00.000-04:00

Alright in case you forgot there IS a shin dig this Thursday. As in its two days away! here is the blog entry that if your cool you must read and attend. Btw, the deconstruction of a boy has been now added. he's muy bien and angsty and screamy and good stuffs. Though I won't deny he's a little odd.... :-/ there may be more added I dunno.

*Reverie*

Your the highest mountain I've ever had to climb.

-Our Last Conversation, Stars in December (no they aren't playing at the show... that'd be nice though...)

2004-08-24T18:34:00.000-04:00

Doo dee doo...

Went to work today. Whooo. I reliezed I need a damn raise. The thoughts of quitting are quickly fleeing my mind because I'm scared of my boss. lol BUT! I deserve a raise. Seriously here, I'm the best damn part time worker they have. Today I did a job in less than an hour that takes Justin 3 hours to do. I mean, yeah he has a reading problem thing but still. And I'm trained on more programs then he is, and can do more jobs then him. So we ask why Justin and I make the same pay? And the answer: probably because my boss doesn't want there to be some wierd competitive thing between Justin and I. Which is stupid because Justin and I don't talk about our paychecks. Well, we discuss how shitty they are... but thats about it. And the Mirabito girls are airheads. All they do is application entries and the rizograph (the rizograph is a really fast copy machine thinger where you sit in a room and watch it while it makes like 2,000 copies... so boring.. but very hard to mess up.) And it just pisses me off, and if my boss wasn't scary I would just quit damn it. But my boss has this way of towering over me and giving me this disgusting smile while she peers down her nose at me. And in general she gives me the willies. Shes one of those people that to the unknowing person looks completly nice but theres like... something under the surface thats gross. Ugh.

Anyway, I'm gonna call Adam in a bit so here are some beautiful theTRACKRECORD lyrics that I have in my info. I can't get over how Adamie they are its... pathetic eh?

*Reverie*

And we drive, seems like miles
but we've barely left the driveway
and the silence is more than I can take
but I just don't know what to say
love struck hearts, filtered by the sound of passing cars
till you broke the silence, looked in my eyes, and softly whispered
"Slip away with me tonight,
forget about your worries they'll be waiting for you in the morning
watch the sunset here with me
don't promise that we'll last forever just swear that you'll remember me."
cry all night, it doesn't make it right
but it doesn't make it any worse
and you wrote it all down here in this letter
a list about a mile long of everything I've done
I'm at a loss, I never figured that this day would come
but if you need an answer, I'll take your letter please take me home
and I'll write down the words that you whispered in my ear that made me cry...
forget about your problems
forget about your inhibitions
forget about your problems
because only fools believe in them
i cried for you, tears that only love could bring
i cried for you, and let you look inside of me

-Last Ride Home, theTRACKRECORD

2004-08-23T21:24:00.000-04:00

Heres todays hella good lyrics cause I know you guys love my lyrics so very much.. lol And I can related to these a bit more... kinda... I dunno... screw you its my blog if you don't like all my song lyrics don't read it. lol

My eyes burn from these tears
You think you'd learn over these years
Good things won't last forever
So what the hell am I suppose to do?
You only wanted the things that I couldn't give to you
And you had it all anyway

So take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place
Tell me I'm wrong when I say
"I can't expect you to stay forever with me."
I live for the single moment

I take back everything I've said
You would those words on your lips
As if they meant anything

Sometimes I feel I could drop off the face of the earth
It seems I do more harm than good
And I don't know if it's worth me losing sleep over this

So take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place.

-My Eyes Burn, Matchbook Romance

2004-08-23T20:31:00.000-04:00

The disappearing act.

Rachels blog is gone. *twilight zone music* Stephanie said she couldn't get to it before when we were talking on the phone but I figured she was typing the address wrong but this is false. Rachel deleted it all. Personally I'm confused. After all the times she probably should have deleted it and she didn't she deletes it now. Mayhap she is mad at Stephanie or myself for a. Stephanies comments and b. My post. But we have no anger for her and if she is going to exercise her 1st amendment right so are we. Besides the 1st amendment was made mainly so people are protected to speak out against the government though its used for other things nowadays. It was not made so people can openly threaten other people. But really I don't think me and Stephanies comments are what it was. I dunno, I'm confused. Anyway.

Woke up around 12 only cause Stephanie called me cause she had a job interview (which she now has a job and makes 60 cents an hour more than me... curse you kevin grumble cakes!!!!!) It's now inspired me to find another job... of course this means giving up Justins b-boxing and feast days... and the ability to choose my own hours. But if I could just find a weekend job thats all I need... so if anyone knows some place tell me. (all like.. 4 of you that read this blog... lol)

It called for a lot of restraint not to call Adam today. Cause I called his house yesterday and he wasn't home and that afternoon I had called him and left a voicemail. So... curse you Adam!!! I'm not calling!!! I'm refraining!!! sorry.. I'm good...

I played GTA today and I heard the same damn song about 4 times so thats why I'm posting this paticular song today its such classic 1980's... lol and I'm done now. The End.

*Reverie*

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight

I keep looking for something I can't get
Broken hearts lie all around me
And I don't see an easy way to get out of this
Her diary it sits on the bedside table
The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle
Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been some kind of kiss
I should've walked away

Is there any just cause for feeling like this?
On the surface I'm a name on a list
I try to be discreet, but then blow it again
I've lost and found, it's my final mistake
She's loving by proxy, no give and all take
'Cos I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times

Oh I, I just died in your arms...
It was a long hot night
She made it easy, she made it feel right
But now it's over the moment has gone
I followed my hands not my head, I know I was wrong

Oh I, I just died in your arms...

-Died in Your Arms, Smokie

Ahhh... classic 1980's beauty. lol I may post some actually good lyrics in a second if I can find the ones I want...

2004-08-22T21:05:00.000-04:00

Well I was going to post to Rachel and her I hate the world blog decided not to. But then Stephanie said everything I was going to anyway so that was easy... but I must say just one thing.

One of the things Rachel complains about is me and Beccas love for our men. She thinks we're stupid because we get all giddy and happy about them. Now I speak for myself only when I write this mind you. But Adam makes me feel so prettyful. He tells me I'm beautiful, asks me what I want then actually acknowlodges the damn answer, he doesn't BS me, wants to spend time with me and above all makes me feel like I'm worth his frickin' time something which Dann or any other guy for that matter has failed to do. So I'm sorry but I haven't talked to the kid for even ten minutes in over a week and I'm gonna wanna talk to him. And I know your probably thinking oh but how long will it last before she hates him again? I'm not saying we're gonna be together for extended periods of time. Hell the kid could find someone better than me rather easily. But I'm not going to condem the relationship because I know its going to fail at some point. That just makes it better because I want to enjoy it while I have it. Argh, sorry. I get ranty and then its all down hill. Most of this probably doesn't even make sense. But really, you can't say you don't ever think about guys cause your always right there lookin' at hot guys with Becca and I. I'm done now... here's some completly off topic The Used lyrics.

Look in my eyes
I'm jaded now whatever that means
By sharing these things I rip my heart out
It's worth my time
Whatever that means...
Hard to see up
My neck feels stiff until I wake up
The orange I choked
And back to my neck
It's worth my time
Whatever that means.... so

Share with me
Cause I need it right now
Let me see your insides
Or write me off
Cause I'd rather starve now
If you won't open up

Give it to me
Give me all... whatever you want
It's never been me
To want this much from you I can see
It tears me up

-Noises and Kisses, The Used

2004-08-22T13:08:00.000-04:00

Hey guys. Back from vacation. Feels good to be home. :)

Though the Bookhouts were entertaining. Lets see... we went to Great Escape yesterday and that was cooltabulous. But it rained... a lot... lol But that just means no lines! And now I have a fancy poncho. Well actually I bought like 2 shirts, a hoodie, and a hat and the poncho... but they're all real cool! lol My shoes are still wet from yesterday too. Apparently converses are in no way water proof. Considering they're made out of canvas one would kinda figure but oh well. But besides that good vacation! The hotel thing was quite cooltabulous! I liked it and wanna go there again next time we go to Great Escape... no idea when that will be but regardless..

But the thing had like some rec room and we played lotsa pool. My dad pretty much killed us... he was hella good cause back in the day he used to go to the pool hall to

Oh yeah! I banged my head! lol Yeah see... I had my new hat on and I was looking at the ground cause the grass was wet and I had no shoes on and I was grumbling to myself about how converses should dry faster so I can wear them and I thought I was at the porch so I grabbed a pole and went to jump up on the porch... but instead I slammed my head against the stairs. Yeah because they were those stairs that go up a little ways then there's the platform and then they go up more. Well the platform was like... exactly the height of my head or something... lol And then it went black for like 1 second either that or I closed my eyes and stopped thinking. But if you can pass out and stay standing thats what happened. But after that I was like What the hell was that?! And I felt very very light and stumbled for a bit trying to stay on my damn feet cause I was unaware what was going on. Then I saw that those were large wood stairs I ran into and I was still attempting to stay up so I reached for a bush. Because when I think something to support my weight I think knee high shurbary. Anyway, the bush failed me and I flopped in a ball in the damn wet grass. Though my head was killing me in the back of my mind I was like "fuckin' wet grass..." I still hate the grass!! DAMN YOU GRASS!!! lol Yeah so I had a very large gooseegg on my head for a few hours but its gone now and it only hurts to touch my head. And my dad was like "sounded like you got hit in the head with a baseball bat." Yeah, too much Grand Theft Auto for my dad...

Anyway, I read in Stephanies blog that if she moves to FL (which her mom is apparently once again plotting even though I THOUGHT we had gotten rid of that stupid idea) Brads going with her. I guess this makes sense considering I'm pretty sure if they didn't see each other for even a week all hell would break lose and if they moved without Brad Stephanie would end up staring at her walls until her mid life crisis which would bring upon her unfortunate suicide. That is if she could even make it to her mid life crisis before killing herself from lack of Brad. (morbid? yes, but true) But I see the flaw here with her and Brad living with her parents. Stephanie thinks it'll just be dandy living with Brad and her parents. But you see my Stephanie... you know what you wanna do with Brad now? If only you could just get to his house sometime? Yeah well imagine he has no house for you to go to... it'll never happen. Your mom will keep you in your house with a chair and you and Brad will just live with your parents until someone gets in a fight about progression of relationships and your dad breaks out his camo and old army rifles. And then someone most likely Brad, if your dad has his way, will become deceased. And then you'll definatly never get what you want. So in conclusion moving to Fishy Lake is a shitty idea, and tell your mom so because you don't want Brad to die. The End. (and besides I have like 4 friends as it is, I don't need to get rid of another one... that would be 3 friends... that would suck...)

Well thats all for now I'm sick of typing.

*Reverie*

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other night dear as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I woke dear I was mistaken
And I hung my head and I cried

I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me and love another
You'll regret it all someday

You told me once dear you really loved me
And no one could come between
But now you've left me to love another
You have shattered all my dreams

In all my dreams dear you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains
So won't you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive dear I'll take all the blame

-You Are My Sunshine, No idea.... Kids bop? I dunno...

2004-08-19T18:27:00.000-04:00

I'm in a better mood today. Good to know eh?

Got off my lazy butt and picked up my check and went to see Amy and get my dance schedule for next year. (I stopped procrastinating! Go me!! hehehe) Then I was talking to Amanda and found out dance doesn't start for another like 2 weeks. Jeese... first we have no studio and dance isn't even starting when they said it was. They need to start sending out memos cause no one tells me this stuff...

Speaking of dance I still don't know what I'm going to do for my solo next year. I'm debating about either some Vanessa Carlton songs or superhero by ani difranco... which has one "bad word" even though that statement like makes the song but it can be edited. I dunno... pain in the rear. Last year it was much easier finding a song. Then again last year I wasn't really looking I just kinda found it. Oh well.

Well keep getting disrtacted so I will write more later. If I don't get a chance then I will write more upon my return on Sunday.

*Reverie*

2004-08-18T20:57:00.000-04:00

I'm over it
You see, I'm falling in the black obyss
Clouded by memories of the past
At last, I see I hear it fading
I can't speak it
Unless you will dig my grave
We fear them finding
Always winding
Take my hand now
Be alive

You see I cannot be forsaken
Because I'm not the only one
We walk amongst you
Feeding, raping
Must we hide from everyone?

I'm over it
Why can't we be together?
Erase it
Sleeping so long
Taking up the mass

At last, I see I hear it fading
I can't speak it
Unless you will dig my grave
We fear them finding
Always winding
Take my hand now
Be alive

Must we hide from everyone?

-Forsaken, Disturbed