Reverie

2004-09-05T19:52:00.000-04:00

Alright guys... I regret to inform my hardcore bloggers that I shall be getting rid of this blog. Of course, I'm not going completly blogless that would just be silly. I'm just moving to Blog-City because its hella better than blogger. The new site will be: http://someonetoblame.blog-city.com

Thank you all for loving my blog! hehe

*Reverie*

2004-09-04T23:20:00.000-04:00

Alright, did nothing today, or yesterday. Tomorrow gotta stupid pool party I gotta go to.

Nothing new to report. Had a stupid dream last night and I thought it was real for a bit. Then I reliezed me and Becca can't drive tractors around town... so... yeah... that stunk.

Alright... done for now.

No lyrics tonight... too lazy.

*Reverie*

2004-09-02T18:38:00.000-04:00

Alright folks.

Last full day of work... went out with a bang. lol Alright... theres this guy named Aric at work but we call him george. Why? I don't know. But just know he is a perv. A total and utter perv and gives everyone the heebee jeebees. of course... Jill enjoys encouraging him because I think it gives her some serious personal amuesment. lol Anyway, the office discovered that there was like 5 people that were wearing pink today. Including one of the mirabitos I forget which one. Anyway, Aric came in the room and was buggin the chicks in there and Stacy was like "george where's your pink? You have no pink on you!" And he goes "I'll show you where I have something pink..." and it was like Oh... sweet... jesus... what the hell. I wasn't there at the time when this happened but I was told after. And we were talking about it and how George is a perv and about his pink bunny. Because he has a pink bunny sitting on his desk for some reason and we were cracking up cause we're dirty dirty people and he walks by and Jill goes "shhhh he's coming!" And so Stacy Jill and I get reallly quiet and George comes in and just stands in the door way and I am litterally shaking with laughter. And George gets all close to me and is like "heather are you hyper ventilating?" and I hear Stacy snort behind me and I look over at Jill who has picked up tickets and covered her face with them but is like peering at me through laughter. And I was like *suppressed laughter* "no george... I'm fine.." "You don't look fine, your face is all red." Jill just pipes up "Yeah it is all red! well.. its more pink now. She just felt left out cause she isn't wearing pink today George." This of course starts George goin' at Stacy and he's all "Oh yeah Stacy I never showed you whats pink on my outfit!" And Jill just butts in "we know what it is! Its the your pink bunny!" (remember he has a pink bunny on his desk people...) and George is like "yeah thats it!" or something like that I was dying from silent laughter so this part is blurred. lol But then he bunny hopped like 2 feet and I was just like... oh lord... wow... I dunno, was an interesting day lemme tell you. That was one story but there were a few today. I may actually miss work because it lasts less time than school and theres no homework. That and theres conversation like above. Oh and my boss left early to go to an American Idol concert and Jills like "okay." and when she leaves the room I turn to Jill like O.o What? And she was all "I don't ask..." I mean... really... an American Idol concert... come on Marie... Anyway, glad my summer jobs over. Though I've started hating it less lately and now I leave but whatever.

Thats about all for now.

*Reverie*

Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?

Hey you, don’t help them to bury the light
Don’t give in without a fight.
Hey you, out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?

Hey you, with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?

Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I’m coming home.
But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Hey you, standing in the road
Always doing what you’re told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?

Hey you, don’t tell me there’s no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.

-Hey You, Pink Floyd

Good song I haven't heard in a looong time.

2004-09-01T20:07:00.000-04:00

It's so simple and complicated.
The way you can crush me.
No matter how much this hurts, this is through.
I get as far as your door before i get caught.
I make up excuses just to touch you and I can't stop, I can't stop.

So are we playing for keeps?
These days begin and they don't end for weeks.
Leave me left out of anything to do with you.
Excuse me while I fall apart.
Don't flatter yourself sweetheart.
Let me take the wheel and I'll crash this car.
Do you have to make this so hard?

You're so good at pretending everything is alright.
You're as welcome as cancer, but my door is always unlocked.

So are we playing for keeps.
These days begin and they don't end for weeks.
Leave me left out of anything to do with you.
Excuse me while I fall apart.
Don't flatter yourself sweetheart.
Let me take the wheel and I'll crash this car.
Do you have to make this so hard?

You're so good...

-Playing for Keeps, Matchbook Romance (My one true love...... and look they're almost hot... haha)

2004-09-01T19:42:00.000-04:00

Woot, had to put the classic Adam song in my blog. btw... when he says "him" I mean her...ya know what I mean.. unless Adam digs guys... which is very very doubtful. But yeah, I don't actual miss Adam right now but I'm getting the anthem ready cause I've come to the conclusion I am NOT (repeat NOT!) calling him until he calls me sometime cause I always call him. So... this will be the anthem for a while...

Why haven't you called me?
Did you forget me?
I need to know...
When were you intending
To break the silence
And let me know?

Mine is the loneliest of numbers
Now is the loneliest of times
You're 19 days late, but still I sit and wait
Waiting and waiting, waiting and waiting, waiting and waiting
Waiting on you

Who have you been seeing
That made you forget me?
I bet you call him
Where, oh where does he come from?
I bet he lives close by
I bet he's just a friend

You've got me waiting on you
I asked you if you'd ever do me harm
You answered, 'Yes, I'll never do you harm'

-Waiting On You, Weezer

2004-09-01T19:22:00.000-04:00

Here's the Nixon victory... thing. Also known now as hail the copy machine fixer!!! WOOT!

2004-09-01T18:31:00.000-04:00

Hey guys.

lets see... went to work today... whoohoo. Talked about farting, burping, and a driver we've named a very dirty name ya know... the usual. haha Its greatness. My boss is trying to give me days to work and Justin days that aren't those days so we get kept apart. GRRRRR! Justins my homie! But its just cause Justin and I are the only part timers that know how to do more than applications and run the copy machine so she wants one of us there everyday. Though Sara started working there and shes all smart so she'll catch on quick. Speaking of the copy machine I have a story!

yesterday I went to make some copies and the copier had an error message that there was a jam. So this means some ass in the building broke it and ran away. So I was there for 20 minutes pulling the thing apart trying to find the supposed jam that was in there. When all it needed was more paper in one of the trays because the tray wasn't empty there was like at least 200 sheets in there but somehow it wasn't enough. I dunno, but when I fixed it I did the Nixon Victory sign (as photoed above) and danced while chanting "I am a copy machine god!!!" Boosted my self esteem for the day. Muwhahaha revenge of the lowly parttime employees! We can fix stuff you fulltime workers can't! Well... not usually... but it was a once in a lifetime thing.

Well thats all for now... I'll post more tonight when I feel like typing more.

*Reverie*

2004-08-31T18:15:00.000-04:00

Went to work. First day with no Justin... who I don't really miss after a REALLY screwed up dream last night... ew... anyway.

I was working in the board room and see... board room rules are usually whoevers in there first gets to pick the station and everyone else has to deal. Thusly why I know so many oldies songs and have heard Becky Holly bitch about "new music crap" for hours on end while swearing shes "forever a 50's girl." yeah whatever. Anyway, this guy comes in and I was there first. Thusly by the usual rules I have radio control. And he was all "will it bother you if I'm in here." and I was like "No not at all," and so he sits down 10 seconds later stands up and is like "I'm going to turn that off." and he goes over to the radio. It took a lot of restraint to keep from throwing my empty nector of the gods bottle at him. I was here first as was enjoying the lack of Becky and the ability to have the radio at just the right volume. Anyway, the guy goes to turn it off but can't figure it out. So instead of asking the lowly part time helper who was the one who turned it on in the first place he just unplugs it. I dunno, everyone who doesn't know me at the office or who works up front thinks I'm an idiot because I'm a teenager. It makes me mad.

Like, say that day when Becky Holley like tag teamed up with this old guy who was doing Mirabitos taxes. And they decided to teach me a few things about life, and unlike Jill and her unending but loveable rants they went on about how death is coming for me. But I don't know anything about death and I probably don't even think about it because I'm too young. I just wanted to tell them to shut the hell up. These people don't know me. I don't claim to be smart but for chrissakes with half the shit I've been through I think I deserve to be treated like more than a child. Gah, I get so angry I'm sorry I'll stop my I'm a teenager and I think I know everything rants.

So I went to lunch and got my schedule WOOT! But its screwed up so I have to go get it changed tomorrow... *not wooting*

Then I came back and went to work in my favoritist room with Stacie and Jill and they all had taco bell. It was like some unending nightmare. Aside from the wierd justin dream I had an Adam dream and in the Adam dream we went to taco bell and I ordered a lovely lovely taco and before I could eat it I woke up. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning wanting not only Adam but a taco with sour cream and lotsa cheese... *drool* Infact, the taco voided out the Adam thoughts and there I was at 4:30 in the morning trying to figure out how I could get my hands on a taco. Unfortunatly... it occured to me that you can't get a taco at 4:30 in the morning... so after much thought I got out of bed at 5:45 and went downstairs and had the left over pizza from yesterday. This was enough to make me not hungry but I didn't get back to sleep until 7ish and I had to get up at 8. So it kinda sucked... I feel like I'm being haunted be the ghost of a lonely bean burrito.

Well thats all for now gotta go to the store... like kmart... and I get to see someone hopefully. Not that I care cause I really... so don't... at all... don't care.... so don't care....

*Reverie*

See all those people on the ground
wasting time
I try to hold it all inside
but just for tonight
the top of the world
sitting here wishing
the things I've become
that something is missing
maybe I...
but what do I know

and now it seems that I have found
nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
slow it down, slow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
on my own..

-On My Own, The Used

2004-08-31T12:04:00.000-04:00

God has finally graced Sidney Highschool with the 2004-2005 schedules. I know you all are just dying to know my schedule because you need to know if you have to sit with my sarcastic ass everday for the next 10 months. Because if so you should probably change your schedule specially if its a morning class because you all know I am a not nice person if its before 11 AM. haha

Per 1: English 11, Seltz
Per 2: Math B2/B3, Althiser
Per 3: Studio Art, Williams (also.. who the hell is she? Wheres Mr. Liss... this is an outrage... she better be cool...)
Per 4: Speech, Seltz (again...)
Per 5: Junior/Senior lunch. WOOT! I can leave the campus! WOOT! Bow to me and my upperclassman power!! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA
Per 6: Chemistry, Pysnik
Per 7: Chem Lab (odd) Junior/Senior Gym (even)
Per 8: SS 11
Per9: studyhall

Okay thats it the official schedule had it changed today.

*Reverie*

2004-08-30T20:32:00.000-04:00

Today wasn't all the excitin. Hung out with Colleen and the Bookhouts and theys be funtabulous! hehehe Becca never did get her revenge! *frolicks evily*

I called Adam last night and we discussed mayhap hanging out today and he said he might call and he didn't. Well... at least he didn't say he super dooper would and then didn't... guess that makes it almost alright but not really... jerkface... Oh well, I am woman and can live without him hear me roar!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA *ahem* done. But I didn't get to show him all the things I learned... so his loss. haha Yeah don't ask... =P

Work tomorrow and there will be no Justin... *breaks into hysterical tears* Curse you all! But it IS the last week of actual work and that feels very very good I must say.

Thats about all.

*Reverie*

And you bring me to my knees again...
All the times
That I could beg you please in vain...
All the times that I felt insecure for you
But I leave my burdens at the door

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times that I felt like this won't end was for you
And I taste what I could never have it's from you
All the times that I've tried
My intentions... full of pride
But I waste more time than anyone

But I'm on the outside...

All the times that I've cried
All this wasted it's all inside
And I feel all this pain
Stuffed it down it's back again...
And I lie here in bed
All alone I can't mend
But I feel tomorrow will be okay...

Inside your ugly your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

-Outside, Staind

2004-08-29T19:22:00.000-04:00

I cleaned my room more today.

Might call Adam tonight if I can stop being a chicken.

The End.

*Reverie*

(Yeah I know, the blogs sucked lately but life has just been really boring so I have nothing to say.)

2004-08-28T15:21:00.000-04:00

Grr... had this long blog all written out and then my computer went all error retarded.... grrrrrrr!

So.. to recap: Hung out with Adam last night. Woot! Fun times! Tacobell's cool, as are his friends... but tacobells cooler...

Slept today. Cleaned my room. Theres a really high pitched ringing noise outside and its hurting my ears... curse you high pitched ringing noise!!!!

The End.

*Reverie*

We drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
The time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
Its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.

And if I could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go...
I'll never let go.

As we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"I'll be going through withdrawl of you for this one night we have spent."
and, I want to speak these words
but I guess I'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

and I... don't want to speak these words.
cause I, don't want to make things anyworse.

Why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts?
We'll skip the goodbyes.
If I had it my way,
I'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and I.

and I... don't want to speak these words.
cause I, don't want to make things anyworse.

-Tiger Lily, Matchbook Romance

2004-08-27T19:37:00.000-04:00

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

-Wonderwall, Oasis

Good song Becca told me about... Hopefully gonna see Adam tonight. I'm super dooper hoping work didn't kill the boy and he's too tired to chillax. I would be saddened if this happened but he gets tired easily... pansey... needs to work out... but I think he stresses too much. Needs to chillax! And who better to chillax with then me? Nobody! Cept maybe Enya... or like Norah Jones or something...

*Reverie*

2004-08-26T21:27:00.000-04:00

Whooo.

Alright, went to work today. Wasn't too bad. Hung out with the J man! hehe he told me I looked prettyful too. Well... actually... he just said my outfit was a change of pace and he liked it. Same diffrence. And he's goin' away next week! *cries* our last week of summer work and he won' be there!!!!!!!!! *more crying* he's my amigo!!! And he showed me his fancy fancy truck. Woot! It is really cute :)

Then I got out of work and Adam left me a voicemail saying his friends mom was really sick and her car was stuck in Binghamton and he needed to help her. I'm debating whether this is really really sweet that he is putting his own plans aside to help someone in need or it just sucks. I dunno, he apologized and everything so I can't be mad. And I'm not, he actually called. I'm training him well and I didn't really do anything to train him. Well... when he was 3 hours late I was dangerously quiet in his car but I dunno if he noticed... I think he did.... anyway, so instead I went to the shindig with Stephi and her Brad. They are so cute together... they are officially the only teenage couple I don't loathe.

But we got to the party and no one was there (this didn't change very much throughout the party mind you...) and there was this chiwhawha... oh man... the best part of the party revolved around that dog. I would like to note I am not exaggerating anything in this story at all... I'm tellin' it like it is. i couldn't make this up if I tried. So like Stephanie Brad Tony and I were standing around. There were a few others I didn't know they were friends of Brad and Tony. And I look over the chiwhawha is like barking at a tree and a cat comes out and I was like Yes! Cat Vs chiwhawha! so we start watching and the cat like slinks over to the dog and they start rubbing against each other and I was just thinkin' damn it there goes the entertainment. (though watching the tent fall over was slightly amuesing I must say.) And then the cat starts sticking its butt in the dogs face. Despite the oddness of this I'm like maybe its a greeting thing... dogs do it.. and my cat loves to stick her butt in my face cause she's a bitch. Then it took the "please mount me and have your way with me" position. I know this position because I own a cat and have seen it in various cat raising books. So I am all knowing on this topic. Anyway, then they went behind a bush for some "privacy" Tony of course tried to get a better look I dunno what happened though. Then! The best part of the story. the chiwhawha comes rolling out of bush out on its stomach legs sprawled and the cat is licking things that should not be licking. Basically, it gave the chiwhawha oral gratification. But I think everyone missed it but Stephanie and I because I was like grabbing Stephanie and gaping in horror and the whole... interspecies sickness. But Tony looked at was like "I must have missed it because they're smokin' a ciggerate now." hehe that kids a hoot.

But the rest of the party sucked. Well Tony and his friend played and they were good as usual. And Franny played and they were good but by that point I was gettin' eatin' by bugs and kept looking at my cell phone contemplating calling Adam which I just did now that i was thinking about it. Got his voice mail... curses... anywho. I got the Franny CD too. Frannys good for the soul. But all in all it was a reallyyyy bad party. Well except the part where the cat gav the chiwhawha oral gratification... that was definatly cool...

*Reverie*

let sun shine on us
And burn our skin
This change of season hasn't changed a thing.
This is the circle of our lives...

-One Season, Deconstruction of a Boy

Yeah that isn't actually how the song goes... well kinda.. thats just a few lines of it thrown together cause I'm too lazy to type them. Its a hella good song though. 'Tis my favorite song actually.

2004-08-25T21:40:00.000-04:00

Wooo.

Went to work today. Fun. Justin came in my room and visited me which was good cause I was all alone. He's a funny kid. Gotta love him.

Then I watched some Invader Zim... I heart Invader Zim! its so beautiful!

My dad brought me home hotpockets from the grocery store! Woot!!

Then I went for a walk with Dann for a bit and now I just wanna talk to Adam. But I called his phone and he didn't answer... I was saddened. Oh my Lord I hope we get to see each other tomorrow. Dann just made me miss him so much more than usual cause he isn't a douche bag like Dann is. Though Dann is great conversation and I know him so well. For example, we ran into some friend of Danns from upward bound and Stephanie Hitt was with him and she had this little dog with her. And Dann like cuddled with the dog and hopped toward it innocently. But see.. I know Dann. And so we walked away and I was like "You wanted to kick that dog didn't you...?" and he was laughed and was like "oh how well you do know me." I dunno he's so funny. I still love him oodles but its just friendly love. I mean, I don't mind flirting with him but nothing more. I care about Adam far too much for such things. *sigh* so I just wanna talk to Adam but Nooooooooooo he didn't pick up the phone. I told him to call me and he better! Grrrrr!! hehe I just miss him thats all. I'll stop now. hehe

Before I get off Rachel has decided to completly end her blog. Why? I don't know, if I did it I'm sorry but I don't know what I did. if you wanna email me and explain that would be nice.

Thats all for now. Hopefully I won't get to post tomorrow cause I'll either be with my Adasmpie or be rockin' out at the hella kick ass concerty party thing. Woot!!

*Reverie*

How was I to know you'd ever leave?
How was I to know you cared for me?
When every time I looked at you
You acted like I was a fool...
How was I to know the truth?

With all the times you ran away
I never thought that you would say
"I'm the one who's lonely now"
And all the times I never said I love you
Now you're in the bed with somebody and everyone else

How was I to know that I was wrong
When I was talking during your favorite song?
How was I to know that I was right
When I caught you in your lies the other night?

But somehow I know
That we're gonna be alright
Somehow I know that we're gonna be fine...

-Everyone, Socialburn

2004-08-24T22:55:00.000-04:00

I went to Kmart tonight. Mostly in hopes of seeing Adam but also I had to get cat food. Which I did both. I pretty much jumped outta my seat when I saw his car. Its such a cute car... lol And I went in and theres Adam like the lone ranger at the cash register. He was the only register open and there was little to no customers in the store so he was just standing there really bored and he saw me and gave me this wave that was like "my god I hate my life..." he's cute when he mopes... and I got the catfood it said it was 5.99 for a bag so I was like damn it... what the hell... the bags so small! But my cat won't eat anything else so it kinda sucks... damn inflation. But then I got to Adams asile and he rang it up as 4.32 and then he was a good man and used his employee discount on me. (what a sweet heart eh? lol) and so it was only 3 bucks and some odd change. And then I guess he was starved for human communication cause I was gonna go and let him get back to standing there but he kept talking... and talking.... I mean I love such things. But I didn't want to get him in trouble. But I guess it didn't matter. He asked if I wanted to hang out Thursday..... Thursday.. Why would God punish me like this? Its either a.) the kick ass party or b.) go cuddling with Adam and watching movies. Its so painful to choose you have no idea. I mean this is like... once in a great while kick ass party... I mean... Erie... franny... tony... come on! But... ohh... he's so sweet... GAH! Its so not right... I think I'm gonna hang out with the boy. Mind you if he's over an hour late I'm going to Afton. Its a great plan. And then if he calls after that he can pick me up from Afton. Anyway, he told me to call him and I felt bad cause he was so tired... like I swear he was falling asleep at the register. But I called him and we talked for a little while and I felt bad keeping him on the phone when he was so tired so it was a short conversation. But I feel special he wanted to talk to me. :) and he said he is gonna call me tomorrow. We'll see about this one....

Thats all for now...

*Reverie*

I´m just sittin´ here and don´t know what to do
there´s nobody here I could ask how to do
just me and myself and nobody else
Although you´re not here with me
I can hear your voice speakin´ to me
and when I close my eyes I can see your face
I know exactly what you´re about to say

It seems that I´m sittin´ here now for days
already now I feel their critical gaze on me
what would I give for just one damn word
but it´s just me and myself and nobody else

Maybe it´s the way you look at me
maybe it´s the way your smile makes me feel
maybe it´s the way you walk beside me
well something, somehow makes me so sure
well something, somehow makes me…

wanna just write ´bout what´s goin´ on inside
like you said I should try
right from the bottom of my heart
what I have on my mind
then there must be one more song for you
this is one more song for you

oh god are you sure that I deserve it?
oh god I don’t care if I deserve it.
but let there follow so much more I´m sure there will follow,
I´m sure there will follow so much more songs

-(One More) Song For You, Wonderwall

No idea who these people are but I liked the lyrics...

2004-08-24T22:17:00.000-04:00

Hey yalls! I found this Calvin and Hobbes comic strip on my computer. Its basically Stephanie and I in cartoon form so I thought I would share. hehehe

2004-08-24T18:57:00.000-04:00

Alright in case you forgot there IS a shin dig this Thursday. As in its two days away! here is the blog entry that if your cool you must read and attend. Btw, the deconstruction of a boy has been now added. he's muy bien and angsty and screamy and good stuffs. Though I won't deny he's a little odd.... :-/ there may be more added I dunno.

*Reverie*

Your the highest mountain I've ever had to climb.

-Our Last Conversation, Stars in December (no they aren't playing at the show... that'd be nice though...)

2004-08-24T18:34:00.000-04:00

Doo dee doo...

Went to work today. Whooo. I reliezed I need a damn raise. The thoughts of quitting are quickly fleeing my mind because I'm scared of my boss. lol BUT! I deserve a raise. Seriously here, I'm the best damn part time worker they have. Today I did a job in less than an hour that takes Justin 3 hours to do. I mean, yeah he has a reading problem thing but still. And I'm trained on more programs then he is, and can do more jobs then him. So we ask why Justin and I make the same pay? And the answer: probably because my boss doesn't want there to be some wierd competitive thing between Justin and I. Which is stupid because Justin and I don't talk about our paychecks. Well, we discuss how shitty they are... but thats about it. And the Mirabito girls are airheads. All they do is application entries and the rizograph (the rizograph is a really fast copy machine thinger where you sit in a room and watch it while it makes like 2,000 copies... so boring.. but very hard to mess up.) And it just pisses me off, and if my boss wasn't scary I would just quit damn it. But my boss has this way of towering over me and giving me this disgusting smile while she peers down her nose at me. And in general she gives me the willies. Shes one of those people that to the unknowing person looks completly nice but theres like... something under the surface thats gross. Ugh.

Anyway, I'm gonna call Adam in a bit so here are some beautiful theTRACKRECORD lyrics that I have in my info. I can't get over how Adamie they are its... pathetic eh?

*Reverie*

And we drive, seems like miles
but we've barely left the driveway
and the silence is more than I can take
but I just don't know what to say
love struck hearts, filtered by the sound of passing cars
till you broke the silence, looked in my eyes, and softly whispered
"Slip away with me tonight,
forget about your worries they'll be waiting for you in the morning
watch the sunset here with me
don't promise that we'll last forever just swear that you'll remember me."
cry all night, it doesn't make it right
but it doesn't make it any worse
and you wrote it all down here in this letter
a list about a mile long of everything I've done
I'm at a loss, I never figured that this day would come
but if you need an answer, I'll take your letter please take me home
and I'll write down the words that you whispered in my ear that made me cry...
forget about your problems
forget about your inhibitions
forget about your problems
because only fools believe in them
i cried for you, tears that only love could bring
i cried for you, and let you look inside of me

-Last Ride Home, theTRACKRECORD

2004-08-23T21:24:00.000-04:00

Heres todays hella good lyrics cause I know you guys love my lyrics so very much.. lol And I can related to these a bit more... kinda... I dunno... screw you its my blog if you don't like all my song lyrics don't read it. lol

My eyes burn from these tears
You think you'd learn over these years
Good things won't last forever
So what the hell am I suppose to do?
You only wanted the things that I couldn't give to you
And you had it all anyway

So take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place
Tell me I'm wrong when I say
"I can't expect you to stay forever with me."
I live for the single moment

I take back everything I've said
You would those words on your lips
As if they meant anything

Sometimes I feel I could drop off the face of the earth
It seems I do more harm than good
And I don't know if it's worth me losing sleep over this

So take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place.

-My Eyes Burn, Matchbook Romance

2004-08-23T20:31:00.000-04:00

The disappearing act.

Rachels blog is gone. *twilight zone music* Stephanie said she couldn't get to it before when we were talking on the phone but I figured she was typing the address wrong but this is false. Rachel deleted it all. Personally I'm confused. After all the times she probably should have deleted it and she didn't she deletes it now. Mayhap she is mad at Stephanie or myself for a. Stephanies comments and b. My post. But we have no anger for her and if she is going to exercise her 1st amendment right so are we. Besides the 1st amendment was made mainly so people are protected to speak out against the government though its used for other things nowadays. It was not made so people can openly threaten other people. But really I don't think me and Stephanies comments are what it was. I dunno, I'm confused. Anyway.

Woke up around 12 only cause Stephanie called me cause she had a job interview (which she now has a job and makes 60 cents an hour more than me... curse you kevin grumble cakes!!!!!) It's now inspired me to find another job... of course this means giving up Justins b-boxing and feast days... and the ability to choose my own hours. But if I could just find a weekend job thats all I need... so if anyone knows some place tell me. (all like.. 4 of you that read this blog... lol)

It called for a lot of restraint not to call Adam today. Cause I called his house yesterday and he wasn't home and that afternoon I had called him and left a voicemail. So... curse you Adam!!! I'm not calling!!! I'm refraining!!! sorry.. I'm good...

I played GTA today and I heard the same damn song about 4 times so thats why I'm posting this paticular song today its such classic 1980's... lol and I'm done now. The End.

*Reverie*

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight

I keep looking for something I can't get
Broken hearts lie all around me
And I don't see an easy way to get out of this
Her diary it sits on the bedside table
The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle
Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been some kind of kiss
I should've walked away

Is there any just cause for feeling like this?
On the surface I'm a name on a list
I try to be discreet, but then blow it again
I've lost and found, it's my final mistake
She's loving by proxy, no give and all take
'Cos I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times

Oh I, I just died in your arms...
It was a long hot night
She made it easy, she made it feel right
But now it's over the moment has gone
I followed my hands not my head, I know I was wrong

Oh I, I just died in your arms...

-Died in Your Arms, Smokie

Ahhh... classic 1980's beauty. lol I may post some actually good lyrics in a second if I can find the ones I want...

2004-08-22T21:05:00.000-04:00

Well I was going to post to Rachel and her I hate the world blog decided not to. But then Stephanie said everything I was going to anyway so that was easy... but I must say just one thing.

One of the things Rachel complains about is me and Beccas love for our men. She thinks we're stupid because we get all giddy and happy about them. Now I speak for myself only when I write this mind you. But Adam makes me feel so prettyful. He tells me I'm beautiful, asks me what I want then actually acknowlodges the damn answer, he doesn't BS me, wants to spend time with me and above all makes me feel like I'm worth his frickin' time something which Dann or any other guy for that matter has failed to do. So I'm sorry but I haven't talked to the kid for even ten minutes in over a week and I'm gonna wanna talk to him. And I know your probably thinking oh but how long will it last before she hates him again? I'm not saying we're gonna be together for extended periods of time. Hell the kid could find someone better than me rather easily. But I'm not going to condem the relationship because I know its going to fail at some point. That just makes it better because I want to enjoy it while I have it. Argh, sorry. I get ranty and then its all down hill. Most of this probably doesn't even make sense. But really, you can't say you don't ever think about guys cause your always right there lookin' at hot guys with Becca and I. I'm done now... here's some completly off topic The Used lyrics.

Look in my eyes
I'm jaded now whatever that means
By sharing these things I rip my heart out
It's worth my time
Whatever that means...
Hard to see up
My neck feels stiff until I wake up
The orange I choked
And back to my neck
It's worth my time
Whatever that means.... so

Share with me
Cause I need it right now
Let me see your insides
Or write me off
Cause I'd rather starve now
If you won't open up

Give it to me
Give me all... whatever you want
It's never been me
To want this much from you I can see
It tears me up

-Noises and Kisses, The Used

2004-08-22T13:08:00.000-04:00

Hey guys. Back from vacation. Feels good to be home. :)

Though the Bookhouts were entertaining. Lets see... we went to Great Escape yesterday and that was cooltabulous. But it rained... a lot... lol But that just means no lines! And now I have a fancy poncho. Well actually I bought like 2 shirts, a hoodie, and a hat and the poncho... but they're all real cool! lol My shoes are still wet from yesterday too. Apparently converses are in no way water proof. Considering they're made out of canvas one would kinda figure but oh well. But besides that good vacation! The hotel thing was quite cooltabulous! I liked it and wanna go there again next time we go to Great Escape... no idea when that will be but regardless..

But the thing had like some rec room and we played lotsa pool. My dad pretty much killed us... he was hella good cause back in the day he used to go to the pool hall to

Oh yeah! I banged my head! lol Yeah see... I had my new hat on and I was looking at the ground cause the grass was wet and I had no shoes on and I was grumbling to myself about how converses should dry faster so I can wear them and I thought I was at the porch so I grabbed a pole and went to jump up on the porch... but instead I slammed my head against the stairs. Yeah because they were those stairs that go up a little ways then there's the platform and then they go up more. Well the platform was like... exactly the height of my head or something... lol And then it went black for like 1 second either that or I closed my eyes and stopped thinking. But if you can pass out and stay standing thats what happened. But after that I was like What the hell was that?! And I felt very very light and stumbled for a bit trying to stay on my damn feet cause I was unaware what was going on. Then I saw that those were large wood stairs I ran into and I was still attempting to stay up so I reached for a bush. Because when I think something to support my weight I think knee high shurbary. Anyway, the bush failed me and I flopped in a ball in the damn wet grass. Though my head was killing me in the back of my mind I was like "fuckin' wet grass..." I still hate the grass!! DAMN YOU GRASS!!! lol Yeah so I had a very large gooseegg on my head for a few hours but its gone now and it only hurts to touch my head. And my dad was like "sounded like you got hit in the head with a baseball bat." Yeah, too much Grand Theft Auto for my dad...

Anyway, I read in Stephanies blog that if she moves to FL (which her mom is apparently once again plotting even though I THOUGHT we had gotten rid of that stupid idea) Brads going with her. I guess this makes sense considering I'm pretty sure if they didn't see each other for even a week all hell would break lose and if they moved without Brad Stephanie would end up staring at her walls until her mid life crisis which would bring upon her unfortunate suicide. That is if she could even make it to her mid life crisis before killing herself from lack of Brad. (morbid? yes, but true) But I see the flaw here with her and Brad living with her parents. Stephanie thinks it'll just be dandy living with Brad and her parents. But you see my Stephanie... you know what you wanna do with Brad now? If only you could just get to his house sometime? Yeah well imagine he has no house for you to go to... it'll never happen. Your mom will keep you in your house with a chair and you and Brad will just live with your parents until someone gets in a fight about progression of relationships and your dad breaks out his camo and old army rifles. And then someone most likely Brad, if your dad has his way, will become deceased. And then you'll definatly never get what you want. So in conclusion moving to Fishy Lake is a shitty idea, and tell your mom so because you don't want Brad to die. The End. (and besides I have like 4 friends as it is, I don't need to get rid of another one... that would be 3 friends... that would suck...)

Well thats all for now I'm sick of typing.

*Reverie*

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other night dear as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I woke dear I was mistaken
And I hung my head and I cried

I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me and love another
You'll regret it all someday

You told me once dear you really loved me
And no one could come between
But now you've left me to love another
You have shattered all my dreams

In all my dreams dear you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains
So won't you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive dear I'll take all the blame

-You Are My Sunshine, No idea.... Kids bop? I dunno...

2004-08-19T18:27:00.000-04:00

I'm in a better mood today. Good to know eh?

Got off my lazy butt and picked up my check and went to see Amy and get my dance schedule for next year. (I stopped procrastinating! Go me!! hehehe) Then I was talking to Amanda and found out dance doesn't start for another like 2 weeks. Jeese... first we have no studio and dance isn't even starting when they said it was. They need to start sending out memos cause no one tells me this stuff...

Speaking of dance I still don't know what I'm going to do for my solo next year. I'm debating about either some Vanessa Carlton songs or superhero by ani difranco... which has one "bad word" even though that statement like makes the song but it can be edited. I dunno... pain in the rear. Last year it was much easier finding a song. Then again last year I wasn't really looking I just kinda found it. Oh well.

Well keep getting disrtacted so I will write more later. If I don't get a chance then I will write more upon my return on Sunday.

*Reverie*

2004-08-18T20:57:00.000-04:00

I'm over it
You see, I'm falling in the black obyss
Clouded by memories of the past
At last, I see I hear it fading
I can't speak it
Unless you will dig my grave
We fear them finding
Always winding
Take my hand now
Be alive

You see I cannot be forsaken
Because I'm not the only one
We walk amongst you
Feeding, raping
Must we hide from everyone?

I'm over it
Why can't we be together?
Erase it
Sleeping so long
Taking up the mass

At last, I see I hear it fading
I can't speak it
Unless you will dig my grave
We fear them finding
Always winding
Take my hand now
Be alive

Must we hide from everyone?

-Forsaken, Disturbed

2004-08-18T20:08:00.000-04:00

To my mother:

(inspired by Rachels mother entries)

Mother, I do love you. You in fact went through much pain and became aniemic to bring me into this corrupte pain in the ass world. But I am still greatful for my life. I have you and dad, your good parents. You two never fight, infact... you flirt too much. (Your old, stop flirting with each other.) I have a bit of freedom and some trust. You support my hobbies including dance and boys. But there are things I feel the desire to touch upon.

You are paranoid.

Your husband enjoys violent video games. You've known this, this is the man that enjoys torturing bugs for a hobby. The 10 year old boy inside of him never really grew up. Thusly, blowing shit up on the TV is a great past time for him. His new love for Grand Theft Auto has made you paranoid. You asked him 5 times today and whenever he plays it if he's going to knife you in your sleep. What the hell mom. It took coaxing from dad and my yelling from the back seat "What the hell mom he's not gonna knife you, our house has guns in it. If he was going to hurt you he would have already." for you to shut up, read your book, and stop worrying about your husbands sanity. (to everyone else, my father is perfectly sane. I love him dearly and he would never hurt anyone. He just likes Grand Theft Auto because his inner menical 10 yr old self is yet to grow up. Don't worry, moms paranoid.)

You don't trust me very much.

You always want to read my blog and I refuse to let you. But regardless I censor my blog because I don't want you reading my thoughts and actions in case someday you get this address and invade. You don't know the account and the adults I do trust with this address... if you tell her... not cool. You think I write about you and bash you and talk of my hatred for you. This is the first entry I've ever really talked about you in. So here you go, guess you were right all along mom.

You put words in my mouth.

Okay, here is the prime example. The other night I'm talking to my mom, trying to get my curfew up to 12. Why? because when Adam goes out thats his curfew and if he takes me I don't want him to have to go home early cause I went with him. So you just get pissy at me and go "Heather your not 18, I know you THINK you are but your NOT." Oh the anger that was unleashed. Why do you think that? I know I'm 15 (16 in 2 months!!!!) lol but anyway. Just because I'm friends with Adam who's 18 doesn't mean I think I'm 18. I know my age. Thanks mom.

Thats all to my mother for now I'm sick of typing.

To the other adults you read my blog. You have yet to tell on me for various things, Pat I love you for this. lol Brandi... you almost got me in trouble once but you don't know it... I'll have to tell you that story at some point... lol Its a good one. But anyway, thank you for being good readers and not calling my mom everytime I do something to get me in trouble. Which I usual don't write these actions in here but I used to and you didn't tell so... yay! I love you all!

To my readers who are minors. Sorry you had to read this long post to the adults... word my mo fos... peace out.

hehehe

*Reverie*

2004-08-17T20:52:00.000-04:00

Hello all you happy happy people.

I warn you all, anger is upon me for no damn reason and your all gonna hear about it. If you don't wanna hear the bitching skip this entry and read the pretty Ani DiFranco lyrics below it.

Alright today I slept until noon, trying to sleep off the whatever I had yesterday. I had to get up twice to go to the bathroom and I wasn't happy. I just wanted to sleep, but forces beyond my control wouldn't let me. Anyway, then I got up and was hit by my aunt with a sock until I got dressed. All I wanted to do was watch the Olympics and relax but no! We had to go see her damn horse. I love animals, but I didn't want to get up. Anyway, she wouldn't even let me shower we just had to go see the horse and my dad had tried to get me to ride the horse. I don't want to ride the damn horse. And everyones like get on the horse and your aunt will lead you around the pen. I don't want to get on the horse. Because a.) the horse is already skittish as it is, put some strange person that doesn't know what the hell she's doing won't help. b.) I was in a pissy mood and I just wanted to be left alone. Anyway, my mother just told them I was scared of the horse and I didn't even try to defend my self. I fed the horse, petted him, whatever. I wasn't scared of him just didn't feel like bonding with my like... anal retentive aunt. Though I love her dearly she IS a Haviland... lol But she can be helpful, like in this next paragraph

Anyway, after this we were in the car and I felt sick again... again out in the middle of nowhere. My aunt gave me some pill and told me to stop reading. Miraculously it worked. And since I stopped reading in the car I haven't felt sick. But it kinda sucks cause I've never had problems with reading and being in the car and the only time I get to read is in the car since I can't drive... *grumble* lol So there goes my reading time. But its not so bad, Michael Moore has begun to depress me about how much the world sucks ass.

Like I dunno when it was but in the 90's or something Russia wanted to join with the US and get rid of ever fricking nuclear warhead on the planet. Every damn one. But no. We didn't agree to it and so... nuclear war is still a threat and damn it that pisses me off. Ugh, that book makes me hate the government. It even talks about Clintons asshole policys... I actually liked Clinton as a political leader but nope... can't now... ass...

Anyway, then we went antique shopping. I contemplated dropping to the floor and faking a seizure (as my loving Stephanie taught me to do in time of boredom). But refrained cause the store was so big and there was like no people in it so chances are no one would have noticed. I did want a really old railroad crossing sign for my room. But that was $400 and chances are you could find half the stuff there at the dump so I found it quite pointless. I found sheet music to this cute old song that if I can find the lyrics online I will post on here tonight. Was a good Adam song. Its called "How Many Hearts Have You Broken?" Its so cute! Gah... I can't find it online. I almost bought the sheet music just for the lyrics. But it was a piece of paper for $3 and I could buy other stuff... like... stuff on sale somewhere... lol Yes I am an admitted sale-o-holic. Because I find things not on sale to be pitiful.

Ugh I keep thinking about Adam. Not that I care cause I sooo don't.
Thats all for now, I have a rant about people building but I'm waiting till I have it formed in my head well before I type it up. So umm... stay tuned folks!

*Reverie*

I will meet you
In some place
Where the light lends itself
To soft repose
I will let you undress me
But I warn you
I have thorns
Like any rose
And you could hurt me
With your bare hands
You could hurt me
With the sharp end
Of what you say
But I'm lost to you now
And there's no
Amount of reason
That could save me

So break me
Take me
Just let me
Feel your arms again
Break me
I'll let you make me
Just let me
Feel your love again

Feels like being underwater
Now that I've let go
And lost control
Water kisses fill my mouth
Water fills my soul

Kiss me once
Or maybe twice
Oh, it never felt so nice

-Break Me, Jewel

I've never heard this song... just found the lyrics today so if it sucks don't tar and feather me.

2004-08-16T20:20:00.000-04:00

I want somebody who sees the pointlessness
and still keeps their purpose in mind
I want somebody who has a tortured soul
some of the time
I want somebody who will either put out for me
or put me out of misery or maybe just put it all to words
and make me say, you knowI never heard it put that way
make me say, what did you just say?
I want somebody who can hold my interest
hold it and never let it fall
someone who can flatten me with a kiss
that hits like a fist
or a sentence, that stops me like a brick wall
because if you hear me talking
listen to what I'm not saying
if you hear me playing guitar
listen to what I'm not playing
and don't ask me to put words
to all the spaces between notes
in fact if you have to ask, forget it
do and you'll regret it
I'm tired of being the interesting one
I'm tired of heving fun for two
just lay yourself on the line
and I might lay myself down by you
but don't sit behind your eyes
and wait for me to surprise you
I want somebody who can make me
scream until it's funny
give me a run for my money
I want someone who can
twist me up in knots
tell me, "for the woman who has everything
what have you got?"
I want someone who's not afraid of me
or anyone else
in other words I want someone
who's not afraid of themself

do you think I'm asking too much??

-Asking Too Much, Ani Difranco

2004-08-16T18:54:00.000-04:00

hey again. Whats crackin? nm out here.

Went to Darien Lake today but something I ate yesterday made me SO sick and on the way up I was like writhing in pain in the back seat and we were out in the middle of no where so basically it was hell. (if you've never experienced this you are the luckiest SOB ever....) Finally got to Darien Lake and the bathroom became my haven. Anyway then I felt better and we went on a couple coasters. My moms in love now... which sucks cause now shes made me promise to take her on coasters at Lake George. Pff... shes gonna tag along like a pain in the butt little sister... but only on two coasters then shes gonna go off with my dad and do whatever they do when I'm not around which frankly I don't ever want to think about.

I picked up some good reading material at Waldens the other day (Rachel shall be proud). Its Stupid White Men by Michael Moore. He's great. If you hate Bush and enjoy conspiricy you should read the book. And it makes me giggle which makes it all better. And gives me even better reasons to hate Bush then I already have. Everyone loves that. lol

I'm actually on AIM but no ones on, screw you guys whatta you got thats so important to do at 6:30 on a Monday? Pfff....

I witnessed an outrage today btw. I was listening to the radio and the announcer came on and said up next was some Britney and Usher. (my dad had the control over the station so I sat in the backseat glaring at the radio... damn Britney and Usher....) anyway then they started playing some Dashboard Confessional. Which is like yay!! Everyone loves DC! But then it hit me... people that tune into a station to hear people like Britney and Usher are listening to this music right now. They don't deserve such greatness.... curse you all!! And so for this blog I will but DC lyrics at the end. But DC is far too good for you if you sing along to Toxic and probably own a pair of pants that say "Bootylicious" damn it I hate those pants.... speaking of which I got a chuckle out of this majorly obesse women in the casino because she was wearing a spaghetti strap that said "Hottie" and my mother turned to me and said "Heather, if you were that big would you wear a shirt that says hottie?" and I go "mom... I wouldn't ever wear shirts that says hottie" this brought on a long rampage of how much I hate those damn shirts that say that stupid stuff. I even hate them more than chicks that run around with like "A & F" on they're butts or "knockout" or something cause you know its just an excuse for someone to look at you butt and frankly I don't want to look at you butt so don't try to make me look at it by putting writing on it.... jerks....

Oh speaking of the casino I left out a great story in my entry yesterday. So my mom was sitting on a bench and I was walking across the hall to get to her and suddenly... over the radio that was playing in the hall... Vanilla Ice starts playing. What a great moment... you couldn't hear the words you just heard the "ding dada ding dada ding ding tick dading ding ding dada ding ding" (you know what I'm talkin' bout....) So I must say... I broke it down right there in the hall infront of people. I just started dancin' around and man I tore up that rug. Got a little cabbage patch goin' and if you know my 'shroom dance I did that too... and oh! I did the bootilicious dance (not the beyonce one... my own which is 20 times better) ... right in front of all these people. I dunno if people were looking cause I wasn't really watching them but someone had to have seen me. I really had an extreme desire to drop to the floor and spin around on my arm like they do at school dances when they try to be cool. But it was carpeted and I wasn't up for 3rd degree rug burns. If such a thing exists... it may... But my mom just stared in horror. And I was like MOM! Its Vanilla Ice that means its OKAY to do this! *goes back to cabbage patching* I don't mind embarressing my parents if we aren't around people I know. See the diffrence between when they embaress me and when I embaress them is just where we choose to embaress each other. For example, this ghettofied dancing would have gone unknown to you all had I not told you. Now my father who breaks into song that he makes up about farting around my friends... thats diffrent... I have to live with such things.

Thats all for now.

*Reverie*

Breathe in for luck breathe in so deep this air is blessed you share with me this
night is wild so calm and dull these hearts they race
from self control your legs are smooth
as they graze mine we're doing fine we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst or break or bury or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer.
The words are hushed lets not get busted,
just lay entwined here undiscovered.
Safe from the earth and all the stupid questions..
"hey did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear, so we can get some.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and
the time on the clock when we realized
it's so late and the walk that we shared together.
The street was wet and the gate was locked
so I jumped it and let you in and you stood at the door
with your hands on my waist and you kissed me,
like you meant it and I knew that you meant it...

-Hands Down, Dashboard Confessionals

2004-08-15T23:30:00.000-04:00

Hey from Buffalo! Where the people are nicer and it sucks less.

Yeah I'm in Buffalo. We were gonna go to Canada but some smart one in the family *cough* mom *cough* forgot our birth certificates and so we can't get over the border. Actually... we could get out of the states but we wouldn't be able to get back in. Yeah... good one eh? So anyway, we were supposed to leave hella early in the morning yesterday but didn't actually get out of Binghamton until 4:30 PM. So yeah. We didn't get out to my Aunt and Uncles house until later that night. And the night was spent watching movies (Identity and like 1/2 of Bourne Identity which is reallyyy good and I'm gonna rent it when I get home.)

Then today we went to the mall and went school shopping for me. Quiet the vaca eh? Well I got two real cute outfits and an Invader Zim DVD (SUPER SCORE!) and I bought the converses I have oogled over for quite sometime now. They're black but the tounge is pink and there is a pink strip up the back. They're hella hot! I was gonna get 'em in high tops but I didn't they're regular. The high tops reminded me of Adams converses too much and having almost matching shoes would be rather freaky. My converses are what I imagine what would come out of Stephanies converses and Adams converses have converse babies. Cause Stephi has pink ones and Adam has black ones so it works... hehe

But I have come to the conclusion that God loves Buffalo. And he loves it a lot more than Sidney. Why you ask?

a. Niagra falls. We went today. Well its not so much Niagra Falls but moreso the cool cool tour called the Cave of the Winds tour. Where there really is no wind or cave cause the cave collapsed in the 1920's and they just didn't get around to renaming the tour. But there is the Hurricane Deck. WHHEEEEEHOOO!!!! I loved it. You were like.. soooo close to the falls it was like terrential rain fall but it was a water fall so it wasn't rain... but it was hella hella cool and I got soaked and it kicked ass.

b. Le Gourmet Chef.. This is a true gift from God. Really, I think he poked his head out from the clouds and said my gift to man kind for this century will be Le Gourmet Chef. There is testy foods everywhere. Like.. every asile. I frolicked around eating. It was beautiful.... *tear comes to her eyes* You don't get free samples like that anymore! And its not like people stand around working the food samples so they can make sure you don't eat a lot. You just casual walk by like 5 times and eat it 5 diffrent times. Oh its so lovely........ *goes into a daydream about Le Gourmet Chef*.....

Well thats all for God liking Buffalo for now. There will be more later I'm sure.

So after Niagra Falls we went to the Seneca Niagra casino. Or it was something like that. Good buffet I must say. But it was freakin' freezing in there!!! I wanted to buy a hoodie but the cheapest one I could find was $32. Problem 1: I only had $30.... that was painful.... and Problem 2: I didn't even like the thing I just needed warmth. So I just beared with my impending hypothermia and that was that.

Anyway we started talking about how the Indians run the casino and I mean this is no little casino. Its big, and not very indian like... there was a "bear tavern" aka a bar. And dreamcatchers in the "gift shop" also known as hella expensive shit you can buy at the Southside Mall for half the price. Anyway, obviously these indians were makin' a hella of a lot of money, but apparently NY doesn't tax them. Why? Because what we did to thier ancestors. This is BS I'm sorry but it is. If these people were like... one with nature and sold little afgan rugs at your local grocery store that would be diffrent. But no. These people are running god damn slot machines under like techno colored lights. Last time we tried to tax them they threw a hissy fit and blocked the highways on thier reservation via burning tires and trucks so people like myself who pay the damn taxes and will probably at some point throw a dime thier way in thier slot machine cannot get through. What the hell... Why do they get out of taxes but the little old woman who's worked her whole life and finally wins the lotto has to? EH?? EH??? Okay I made that up I dunno any little old woman thats suffered her life and then won the lotto. But come'on its gotta have happened at least once... And its not like they're the only ethnicity that white people have screwed over. I don't see African American getting tax exemption... Native Americans are panseys....

Yeah and so I called Adam and talked to him for like 5 minutes. I missed him until I called him. Usually when you miss someone talking to them doesn't help but like as soon as he answered I was like what the hell am I calling this kid for? And then I ended up looking like a bitch cause he got new shoes... yeah don't ask... anyway.... I wish I knew what was goin' on with that kid. Are we together? No. But we aren't like nothing. And frankly I don't wanna go through the whole half dating shit like I did with Dann... just pisses me off...

Well thats all for now. If anyone wants to get ahold of me my email is: thepifflingpigeon@hotmail.com I might be on AIM but chances aren't so good since I tried to get on today but I kept getting kicked off. Probably the firewall on my uncles computer or something.

Darien Lake tomorrow! Wooty woot!!

*Reverie*

Moving forward using all my breath
Making love to you was never second best
I saw the world thrashing all around your face
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace
I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you
Dream of better lives the kind which never hate
Dropped in the state of imaginary grace
I made a pilgrimage to save this human race
Never comprehending a race that long gone by
I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you
The future's open wide

-I Melt With You, Saves The Day

2004-08-13T22:42:00.000-04:00

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends

Where are you? and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head...

-I Miss You, Blink 182

2004-08-13T22:22:00.000-04:00

Yay! I gotsa see my Adam before I went away! I's be happy.

Course he called me 3 hours late.... I was so mad! I had a great angry speech planned... then he called.. ugh the voice! You can't be mad at that kid... gah... Someday I'll get real mad though and then you'll all see the rath of Heather!! MUWHAHAHAHHAHAHA...but until then...I shall remain easily swayed. Anyway, since he was so late calling we only gotsa hang out for an hour and like 10 of it was spent by me and his dad watching the Weather Channel and laughing at the idiots on there. lol He's gotta nice family I likes 'em all oodles. Adam the mostest of course but regardless. But then we started the movie that we couldn't finish because my mom said I had to be home at exactly 10. No expections. Not even 10:01. So I get home at 10:10... lol My mom isn't even up, my dads playing video games and has no idea what time it is and I just wanna be likeDAMN YOU ALL! I was having some of the best cuddelage of my life and you interupted it and then you aren't even up to see me get home... GAH!

Well thats all for now, see yall in a week. Unless of course I post from my aunts house but between the hot tub and the dart board the chances are slim.. hehe

*Reverie*

2004-08-13T13:45:00.000-04:00

hey yalls.

My mouth hurts soooo bad! I have my retainer in and I haven't worn it all summer. Its killin' me. I'm scared to take it off cause its gonna kill me! Well... maybe not kill me. But I will probably be reduced to lying on the floor in the fetal position. Yeah I have low pain tolerance when it comes to my mouth. I have major teeth falling out issuses. I mean anywhere else on my body I can usually just pretend I don't feel it but my mouth... oh Lord. Doesn't happen.

In other news I'm gonna go see one of my favoritist amigos today. My Adam. :) Well not mine but ya know... I get possesive. hehe But yeah we're gonna rent a movie and chillax. I'm glad I get to see him before I leave for vacation. (I'm shippin' out tomorrow at like 6 AM.) I'll be back Wednesday and we're vegging Thursday and then Friday we's be off again with my Bookhouts in tow. I may still write in here though cause we're stayin' at my Aunts and I have like my own floor there. Well its like a basement but thats were my room is and 2 computers and TV and my pride and joy dartboard which I am SO bad at... but its fun. Gah but I can't wait to see Adam. Not that I care cause I SO don't care.... so don't care... *mutters*

In other news...

I believe I have done something to anger God because we had another bat last night. He was much smaller than double C. He was probably 3 or 4 inches in wing span, so I wasn't really scared of him. I was scared of Double C though cause he was hella frickin' big. But this one that I have named sharles after a Ryan conversation. Anyway, I was about to out in the hall when sharles came flying up the stairs into the hall. My dog immediatly bolts and I slame my door yelping. Its probably about 11:30 right now my moms dead asleep. Shes just like what is it? me: A BAT!! her: a what? me: Mom its a frickin' bat in the hall. He's small this time though! My mom gets up and is excessivly angry. Swearing very very loudly. She was understandably mad. We had just had a bat 2 nights ago and we have no idea how they're getting in. Anyway she waits for sharles to go back downstairs and she comes out with a laundry basket and looks down the stairs. I had turned all the lights off downstairs. They always yell at me if I leave them on and my mom just stares down the stairs and was like you turned the lights off... and I was like Yeah... "why?" "cause... you always tell me to..." man... can't make these people happy... She just continues to stare down the stairs grumbling at everyone and totally stalling. Then the greatest thing ever happened.... she was looking down the stairs complaining she didn't know where the bat was and sharles just flys up the stairs at her face. Oh man... at the time it wasn't funny since I like dove into my room and my mom stood in the hall screaming hysterically. And she tried to run but sharles like followed her and oh man... so funny.... I'm hysterically laughing as I write this... I swear it was the greatest thing. Sharles of course just wants to get away but he was scarin' the shit out of my mom. Whoo... good times good times... we got sharles out eventually cause my mom went downstairs with her laundry basket that doubles as a shield and got him out the door. I probably could have gotten rid of sharles but I wasn't about to volunteer if she was gonna do it. I'm dreading coming back from vacation... I hope we don't have like 5 bats in my house... of course my cat won't kill them.... in fact she doesn't even look at them. But she'll attack and kill my feet without a problem... damn cat...

Well thats all for now.

*Reverie*

Holy cow! I think I've got one here
Now just what am I supposed to do?

I'm shaking at your touch
I like you way too much
My baby, I'm afraid I'm falling for you
And I'd do about anything to get the hell out alive
Or maybe I would rather settle down with you

I can't believe how bad I suck, it's true
What could you possibly see in little ol' 3 chord me?
But it's true - you like me and I like you too
I'm ready, let's do it baby.

I'm shaking at your touch
I like you way too much
My baby, I'm afraid I'm falling for you
And I'd do about anything to get the hell out alive
Or maybe I would rather settle down with you

-Falling For You, Weezer

2004-08-12T20:10:00.000-04:00

Long time no entry. Okay thats a lie, its only been two days. But it feels like forever since much interestin' stuffs has happened. I will tell you all the short hand version.

Monday: Talked to Adam online, was nice. Missed the good convos he provides. He asked I wanted to hang out the next day. Hells yeah I did! He said he would be over at 4.

Tuesday: Went to work, alphabetized for 6 hours. Jill did a great impression of Adam once again squishing my heart into the ground (or the cheap mirabitos carpeting in this case) because he was going to stand me up again. At 4:30 Adam was still MIA and very very angry thoughts flashed through my head. I wasn't about to prove Jill right so I just innocently played with my cat. SO not caring... Steph called. I ranted to her. I love her for dealin' with me. lol Then I got off the phone with her and Adam called (Its 5 o'clock by now). Where was he you might ask? Oh he fell asleep... grrr. But I couldn't come over until his mom comes home so he had to call me back when she got home. He called me back and 7 and was over shortly after and we went to his house. He has the coolest stupidist dog and the bestest couch ever. We watched the Speed channel until 10. Well actually we did watch some spongebob. But I fell asleep cause I had already seen it and his heart beat was definatly sleep inducing. Anyway, twas good times. I came home and my dad hadn't paid the internet bill so we got shut off. I was tramatized.

Wednesday: Thought about Adam. I confess, one track mind. Jill asked how he was and I said he was great... and just left out the part he was like 3 hours last. Shhhh it'll be okay. No one will know. Cept everyone that reads this blog. Which is like 5 people. lol Dad paid the internet bill but changed his user name and forgot he did so and so we couldn't get online again. I went into slight withdrawl.

Thursday (aka today): Went to work. Came home. Called the mkl people cause the net still wasn't working. They told me he had changed his username.... I swear... I can't believe he forgot he did that. And then I got on a prettified my info, :)

Thats all... no interesting thoughts for the day.

*Reverie*

(some chick)

I remember it well
The first time that I saw
Your head 'round the door
'Cause mine stopped working
I stood in the stairs
And time stopped moving

Want you here tonight
Want you here
'Cause I can't believe what I found

Want you here tonight
Want you here
Nothing is taking me down, down, down...
Except you, my love...

(angsty excessivly hot male voice starts)

Come all ye love
Dive into moss
I hope that my sanity covers the cost
To remove the stain of my love
Paper maché

Come all ye reborn
Blow off my horn
I'm driving this hard
This is love, this is porn
God will forgive me but I,
I whip myself
Scorn, scorn

I wanna hear what you have to say about me
Hear if you're gonna live without me
I wanna hear what you want
I remember to stand by.

And I wanna hear what you have to say about me
Hear if you're gonna live without me
I wanna hear what you want
What the hell do you want?

-I Remember, Damien Rice

2004-08-09T22:01:00.000-04:00

I'll be true
I'll be useful
I'll be cavalier
I'll be yours, my dear
And I'll belong to you if you just let me through.

This is easy as lovers go
So don't complicate it by hesitating
This is wonderful as loving goes
This is tailor made
What's the sense of waiting?

I said, "I've gotta be honest.
I've been waiting for you all my life.
For so long I thought I was asylum bound
But just seeing you makes me think twice.
The feel of you here makes me sane.
I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my sight."

You've got wits, you've got looks, you've got passion,
But are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?
Tonight, tonight
You've got me.

-As Lovers Go, Dashboard Confessionals

2004-08-09T20:44:00.000-04:00

Count Chocula: The Trilogy.

The naming of the bat to count chocula is thanks to a Dann conversation.

Written and experienced by: Heather Haviland

Book One: The entrance.

It was a dark night, like most nights are dark. But this, was really dark. A foolish young girl was in the kitchen. Eating chocolate ice cream and talking to her friend on the phone. It was late, but she didn't have work in the morning so she scoffed at the idea of actually sleeping.

Suddenly! Out of the corner of her eye, from the living room! A swish of black! She stared. Pretended it was the cat. But she couldn't avert her eyes because of her worst fear. A bat. It came again! A big bat! From 7 to 9 inches in wing span. Horror came upon her face as she let out a screech and dropped the phone. Then picked it up, babbled to her friend she would call her back, screeched again, threw the phone, and ran screaming up the stairs.

Blindly in the dark she ran to the bathroom and slammed the door! After turning on the light she checked behind the shower curtain for bats. Then she yelled in a high pitched voice "DADDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

her mother rose, "what?"

"THERE'S A BAT!!!!!"

"where?"

"downstairs in the living room!"

"well did you at least shut the living room door so it wouldn't get out."

She paused, pondering the logic behind this theory. "no..."

Her father then rose, asking whats going on. Her mother filled him in, after some cursing and kicking his daughter out of the bathroom he went downstairs... dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn!

Book Two: The So Called Death of Count Chocula.

He went downstairs armed with nothing but a small flashlight and a broom. There was silence, a door opening and shutting, more silence.

"dad is it gone?" she cried feebly from her bed room.

Her father replied "I think." She pondered this, how do you think you catch a bat... After a few minutes she trekked nervously downstairs to find her father making bacon. She stared puzzled at him...

"dad... where's the bat?"

"I don't know." he replied.

"Dad.. how do you not know where the bat is?"

"Well... " goes back to fixing bacon "I hit it, but I can't find it now."

"soo... your saying there's a dead/dying bat somewhere in our house and... your making bacon..."

"Yeah."

"Thanks Dad."

Then her mother came downstairs and while the bacon was cooking they tore the room apart looking for the bat but it was MIA. That night her father left for work.. not to return for two days. They slept uneasily, bedroom doors shut as tight as possible and covers pulled up very far. All animals were rounded up into bedrooms too, and a certain cat killed a certian piggy bank that night... damn you certain cat!!

Book Three: The Return of Count Chocula.

All day alone in her house the girl sat on edge. She refused to set foot in the room Count Chocula had last been seen in. And most of the day was spent locked in the living room with the two animals playing violent video games. That night, she sat alone on her computer. Again! A flash of black was seen in the corner of her eye. But from the kitchen this time. Praying it was only a shadow she stared. BUT NO! It was Count Chocula back for his revenge! She let out a piercing shreek and ran for the bathroom again. She yelled for her mom who didn't hear her at first because she was outside. But soon she heard her and yelled "is it that bat?" Like it could possibly be something else... Pff... She then ran from the bathroom to the computer room door and slammed it with a battle cry. She was safe in the computer room. Bat free. Her mother then opened the back door and Count Chocula flew out into the night. Never to return because his life goal of finding a suitable place to raise little choculettes was not fuffilled here because of the poor electrical system. So in the end everyone lived happily ever after! But be warned! Sleep with your bedroom doors shut!

*Reverie*

Somethings not right here I start to show my fear. My heart beats real loud from the sounds. Its getting real close now, an image appears I run as fast as I can. I trip on a log and I fall to the ground and listen as it surrounds. I turn around I've been found. Demons are after me, in my dreams its reality. Sweat in my eyes or is it blood from where the demons got me. Try not to sleep cause I want to keep these nightmares away that are me. Drifting away I am falling asleep, these demons they start to creep.

-Some song Dann sent me. I thought it as fitting... I dunno if those lyrics are right I kinda just listened and typed at the same time. Theres a hella cool guitar part at the end too. In case you were wondering cause I know you were. I bet you were like "nice lyrics... but is there a cool guitar part?" Well there is!

2004-08-09T19:32:00.000-04:00

Today was like good. Well the ending sucked. We'll get to that later though.

Started off I woke up... played video games... showered... (yeah it was exciting.) But then Becca called and said she couldn't find Brandon. So no movie monday. Yeah screw you Brandon! Then Misty my old amgio called. She was up at the pool so we went to see her. She talked about her summer the whole time. None of us really got a word in edge wise. She listed off all the alhochol she drank in one night. Like 4 beers and 10 shots of whiskey and a bottle of some blue stuff and she said she hadn't gotten drunk only a buzz. Wtf. Your right that wouldn't get you drunk you would get alchohol poisioning or like choke on your vomit. Whatever I don't care. Anyway, then we were gonna go hang out at her house but we abandoned her. I'm sorry! But it was boring. It was all about her amazing summer, none of us could tell her our stories. Which we have stories! And they're good stories! Screw you! haha

Then we went to Joe and Vinnies and Becca got asked her number from her Adam since he lost it the first time around. Mind you he is HELLA hot. Beccas so lucky. haha

Then we went to Kmart cause Becca wanted to go see Jeff and I needed super glue to fix the piggy bank my cat broke last night. And the possibility of seeing Adam lingered in my mind. But I figured I wouldn't since I hadn't seen him the last few times I went that. Well we drove up the parking lot and I saw his car and about jumped out of my seat. Yay! Adam! Even if the possibilty of us dating is like gone I still love him oodles and miss his car obsession and our stupid conversations. (Is it a herpi or a herpe? Gotta love that.) So we went in there and we went searching for super glue to fix my piggy. We couldn't find any super glue, but we saw Jeff who pointed us in the right direction. And gave Becca his number dispite the fact he has a girlfriend. I don't know.. don't ask. Anyway, got the super glue went to check out and I see Adam. Make eye contact and small smile and he just looks away. Thoughts that come to mind : Adams in a shitty mood. Seeing me does not help the mood. So I kinda keep my eyes down and shuffle forward. He rings up my single tube of super glue, looks at me and is like "this is it..?" Kinda like he was saying "man thats sad... pick something cool to buy as an excuse to come in my asile." And I just muttered it was for my broken piggy. It was really sad. And I was bummed, I hadn't seen him in so long and he just doesn't care when he does see me. So... fuck you Adam! *ahem* that felt good.

So I came home and turned up some hatebreed and fixed my piggy while singing along and hating Adam. haha Hatebreed is good therepy music. I must write about the bat now. But thats a whole nother blog.

*Reverie*

2004-08-08T20:58:00.000-04:00

Think I'm going for a walk now I feel a little unsteady. I don't want nobody to follow me 'cept maybe you. I could make you happy you know?... if you weren't already. I could do a lot of things and I do. Tell you the truth I prefer the worst of you. Too bad you had to have a better half. She's not really my type but I think you two are forever. And I hate to say it but you're perfect together. So fuck you and your untouchable face. And fuck you for existing in the first place. And who am I? That I should be vying for your touch. And who am I? Bet you can't even tell me that much. Two-thirty in the morning and my gas tank will be empty soon. Neon sign on the horizon, rubbing elbows with the moon. A safe haven of sleepless where the deep fryer's always on. Radio is counting down the top 20 country songs. And out on the porch the fly strip is waving like a flag in the wind. Y'know, I don't look forward to seeing you again soon. You'll look like a photograph of yourself taken from far far away. And I won't know what to do and I won't know what to say. Except fuck you... I see you and I'm so perplexed. What was I thinking? What will I think of next? Where can I hide? In the back room there's a lamp that hangs over the pool table and when the fan is on it swings gently side to side. There's a changing constellation of balls as we are playing I see orion and say nothing. The only thing I can think of saying is fuck you... And who am I? Bet you can't even tell me that much. And who am I? Somebody just tell me that much.

-Untouchable Face, Ani Difranco

2004-08-08T19:44:00.000-04:00

The Hottie. (hehehe the Bookhouts get it.)

I just read Beccas blog and reliezed I left out the hot guy that was at Quickway. Okay so we're in line to pay for our foods and he comes in and starts getting cash from the ATM. The hottness.. it was more than hottness.. It was... it was just 100% all American good. My jaw was hanging slackly from my face. And then he turned around and I immediatly closed the mouth and turned around stared at the counter. But I swear he was looking at us cause I looked back once and he was looking at either Becca or Rachel and he looked at me and I looked away in attempts of acting like I didn't care. So obviously cared. lol Then we were leaving and he looked me like right in the eye and I was like *stare at the hottness* and as soon as we get out the door before it even closes Rachels just mutters He was hot! And then the door closed and litterally in unison we all went "Oh.. my... God..." and then broke into hysterical laughter. We're such teenagers. I love you both! haha We're like the 3 Muskateers & the three stooges combined, but much better. haha

*Reverie*

2004-08-08T17:05:00.000-04:00

Yay! Last night was be fun! hehe was be. That makes sense. Anyway, there was a shin dig in Afton a friend of the family was having and I dragged the Bookhouts to it. Why you ask? Why would I force my friends to a party where they wouldn't know anyone and be slightly uncomfortable the whole time? Because I don't know these people either. lol My parents do they're all old chums. I'm just known as Rogers daughter and people continuously point and say "I haven't seen you since you were THIS big! *bends over so hand is at knee level* You've gotten so big!" And its just like why yes... yes I have...

Anyway, we just ended up eating a lot, complaining about the lack of guys there, and taking our chairs and sitting as far away from everyone else as we could while still be close enough to the fire to prevent hypothermia. Hey! It could have happened. And we just sat around talking about guys (suprise suprise! haha come on, get me and Becca together and its a one topic conversation). There was one kid at the shindig that wasn't bad looking. He was like an x Amish. Apparently they were Amish and then they stopped. I don't know, I don't ask. But he had these pants... they were bad... very... very... bad. *shudder*

Then we left there and came home. Now throughout the party we had passed my parents talking politics with thier amigos. I was unaware my family was Bush supporters and I was immediatly shamed and went away from them. So on the way home we get on the topic again. My parents went on and on about how Bush lays the cards out on the table, does what he thinks is right, doesn't try to please everyone, follows his Christian beliefs, blah blah blah blah. This just angers me. Bush lays out all the cards does he? He was so damn sure that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction and plans to use them against us. He sent us to war and now is saying "whoops... there was none... my bad." So now he's saying that well he had the intent to get WMD's and was planning to use them on us Americans. Oh yes, now that Saddams gone theres no one on the planet who would want to do that. And its people like Bush that made it that way. Americans were respected at one point... I think. And as far as what Bush thinks is right, and what actually is right... theres a diffrence. His opinions are really biased because of his like OCD about Christianity. But Rachel said exactly what I've been thinking for like ever. The enterity of America is not Christian. Yes, its the predominant religion, but everyone here isn't. So just basing decisions on your religious beliefs is pretty frickin retarded? What happened to seperation of Church and State? And my parents are like oh he doesn't try to please everyone. And its like damn right he doesn't, he does what he wants. Despite what he should be doing, when your going to a war that like no one in the world will back you up on that should say something. Idiot. I hate him. lol During the speechs between Rachel and my parents with my occasional comments I said "Yeah so wheres the weapons of mass destruction? Oh yeah, there were none. We just killed like 800 soldiers for no damn reason." My mother turns to my father and says "as opposed to how many American citizens?"(referring to 9/11) my father "3,000" my mother "yeah 3,000 American citizens!" Rachel and I just about died and screeched in unison from the back seat "THAT WAS OSMA!" And there was uproar from us and I think all my parents caught was me babbling how they had no connection and Rachel swearing they hate each other. Really, Rachel and I couldn't get over how naive my parents are. I mean I don't even watch news and I know these things (Thank you Daily Show, see they make stuff up but they still do talk about some politics. And they has politicians on and its good stuff. PS: Bill Clintons going on the Daily Show Monday I think.... must watch... and besides, real news is just hella depressing.)

Anyway, after that we went to like the last hour of the Sidney Arts and Music festival. And we saws Dann and James F. Dann was high so he wasn't very interesting to talk to. We all just kinda smile and nodded a bunch. Of course Flannery is a douche bag and passionatly hates me. I'm still unaware as to why, but frankly I don't care cause he's a dick head. And one less dick head in my life is always a positive thing. So we wandered away from them and ran into Tiphani Klugh...yay... She introduced us to some ghetto fly black kid named Adam who obsessivly showed off his tattoos. Apparently, the more ghetto fly you are the more tattoos you have. And this kid has his arms and back done and was wearing a du rag and a hat and like south pole clothes. He was definatly super dooper mega ghetto fly. And Tiphani definatly wanted to have lots and lots of sex with him. It was really sad. Then we inched away from them as quickly as possible and ran into Tommy Labar. Well, we saw him and I immediatly turned away in fear because I knew he would yell down the street "MY HORSE" and come galavanting over, trying to be cool and knowing it sounds like he just yelled my whores. Then he pronounces to all standing around I am his horse. At which point I smile, nod, wave, and look for an escape route. So anyway, we had inconspicuously followed this excessivly hot guy down the street. And I'm serious about being secretive. We don't even have to try at it. Who would honestly expect a pack of girls to be so desperate they follow a guy for half a block? No one. Its the perfect coverup really. And we saw Tommy and I immediatly turn, the Bookhouts... I love them dearly... but they stare and giggle and Tommy. So obviously he comes over and we do the usual (see above). Then they start playing hackey sack. I don't choose to join, because frankly I suck. Anyway then we got away from them and went home. And we did some dancing on main street it was fun. haha And then we retard ran home. Not Colleen retard run I did like the way little kids run where your arms like flail out and like windmill and your legs go real spastic. It was so fun! My neighbors stared though. lol

Okay so then my mom was all go to bed at 12! And we stayed up until 2 AM. And we made Rachel stay upwith us. MUWHAHAHAHAHA Rachel I'm sorry, I love you! lol My poor Rachel, she only wanted to sleep. lol And we just talked about pretty much nothing, well we did talk about somethings. Rachel of course giving out the deep meaningful questions through a haze of sleep and me and Becca asking stuff like "Whats the stupidist thing you've ever done." I'm glad Rachel was there to add intellegence to it all. lol

Then we slept.

Then we got up.

Then we ate breakfast.

Then we played more GTA3.

Then they went home.

And that was about it.

*Reverie*

If only rock and roll could save our lives.

-Code of Dissafirmation, ERIE

Btw!!!!! I made up a SUPER COOOL test. Okay its not THAT cool. But its fun. If you want me to email it to you email me and let me know. My email is: thepifflingpigeon@hotmail.com

2004-08-05T22:05:00.000-04:00

I dunno, spontanious The Labyrnith moment. I should post some Labyrinth pictures on here cause I have that much of a life. This paticular shot is of Sir Didymus and his noble stead. Thier job is to gaurd the Bog of Eternal stench. Not that it really needs much gaurding but Sir Didymus is rather stupid. But very brave and loveable. Thusly why he is my favorite character in the movie.

2004-08-05T21:08:00.000-04:00

Hey yall.

Okay, went to work today. Long story short I read my clock wrong and got there an hour early. I'm not gonna live this down for awhile. Alphabitized all day, but at the end did some invoices for Jill. She's trying to guilt me into working Fridays. Curse her. And I stayed a half hour later than usual to do the invoices which I didn't finish anyway but regardless.

Justin and I talked about Adams car today. Of course I wasn't much help to him. He asked whats under the hood. I said an engine. Then I told him about all of Adams action figures. I decided the cookie monster was also an action figure. Though Adam says its his goodluck charm. Superstious loser. haha And we talked about the seats in his car cause Adam has cool racer seats where you sit all low. And his little plasma TV screen thing in there. His car is fun, there be lotsa buttons and such.

I also listened to Melody's fun college party stories. It makes me want to go to college. No not just to party! Seriously. lol I don't even think I want to drink. Not being completly in control of my brain and my actions doesn't really appeal to me. But I mean, my own apartment (since I will probably live off campus) but I dorms will be good too. Cause most colleges you have to live in a dorm the first year. Or at least thats what I'm told. I guess it depends. Not that I even know what I want to do with myself in college. Like my majors and crap. No idea. Its not very cool. I'm runnin' out of years to pick. lol

Thats a scary thought too. I'm only going to live in this house full time for 2 more years. I mean that seems like awhile and I guess it is. But I mean thats the time between when I was a freshman until now. Thats not very long. What will I do without my madre and padre? But at the same time I'm starting to get like meh I want my own space. Ya know? maybe not I dunno. This doesn't make much sense does it?

Umm... I went to Kmart today. No Adam siteing but I saw Brad. Brad if your for some reason reading this do not change your hair! You have good hair! Sheesh. But I got a Hatebreed CD cause I lost my old one and it was only 12 bucks so I was like what the hell might as well. hehe I rhymed. And then I went to Tops and got more whipped cream in a can cause I finished off the first can like 2 days ago. That stuff has got to have cocaine in it because its highly addictive.

*breaks into hysterical tears* I just broke my favorite earrings! NOOOOOOO!!!! Earrings! Speak to me! Wow, I'm so dramatic.

OH! I had a dream last night that was SOO terrible! Okay in my dream I was brushing my teeth and suddenly I noticed they were cracked. So I poked the crack and like... the hard part of my teeth thats white was really like a layer and it just fell off. And under it was like pink muscle. Like it looked like muscle a human anatomy diagram. And like I freaked out and all my teeth started cracking the white parts were falling off and Stephanie was there and was like OMG and I'm like spitting out these teeth shells and I look in the mirror and I have like a gum smile. But I have teeth, but they just looked like a continuation of my gums. And I go to my mom "Mom what should I do? Look!" and I spit out a handful of teeth and my mom was like "Oh... well they can fix that. But we don't have the money right now so your going to have to wait." (the answer to all problems in my house...) I was even to poor in my dreams! What the crap is that about?! Ugh I still can't get over the horror of that dream...

Oh so an interesting observation. I sent out these stupid survey things to a couple of my friends and one of the questions was "what are you most afriad of" and the 2 I've gotten back thus far and my own all said "being alone" is that healthy? I dunno. They both are on anti depressents so that doesn't say much about me eh? lol Its okay. I love them oodles.

Alright, I am totally bored and I'm not going to waste perfectly good boredom on here. haha

*Reverie*

I wander home and stay up late, the brightest star keeps me awake. With a painted picture of the night we spent and glass is breaking in my car. Just from wondering where you are, when all the lights go out, its just regret. My motions ache and theres flooding in this room from all the heartbreak. So when I'm wrong about these actions that had once took place. My eyes will burn when I see your face. These hands are cold, the warmth of your body doesn't help at all. I'm sinking into your broken heat. I should've stayed away, I knew from the start that you would only think I was a mistake.

-All A Mistake, The Degenerates

2004-08-05T18:31:00.003-04:00

We interupt the normal mundun pace of this blog with a superfuntabulous commerical:

Eat oatmeal.

We also have a commercial thats "almost as awesome" (As reported by some magazine!) as that one:

There will be a shindig at the end of this month. An end of the summer bash you ask? Mayhap. But we prefer to think of it as cultural greatness. If the apocolipse is coming even Mr. Rogers would want it to wait until August 27th. Why you ask? What is so amazing about August 27th? Our answer: Nothing. BUT! August 26th. Now thats a day. Because on August 26th, approximetly 4 1/2 hours after midday (midday = noon) there will be a phenominal line up of unloserish bands. Thats right folks! If your band sucks then thats why your not on here. The line up will include: Franny, ERIE, the angregents, abandonship, a call to armes, danger to the system, & destroy the modern day. A Hate So Perfect may play, hopefully not.. but we can't all have what we want now can we? It will be 4 measly dollars to get in, saying ahsp actually gets in thats 50 cents a band. Thats the best damn price you and your pathetic friends will ever see for such amazing talent in one room/yard. Whatever. If you don't totally suck ass you will go to this party. If you suck ass or enjoy listening to Nelly, do not go. You are not even invited. Go catch head lice. But for everyone else! Come to the party, eat, drink, and be merry. But by drink I mean nice nonalchoholic beverages cause these kids be straight edge and won't take none of that shiznic. And if you bring some we are gonna form a posse and they will tackle/dry hump you to the ground and then pinch your ears. And you don't want that to happen now do you? So in conclusion... come to this party. Unless you listen to Nelly, then go catch head lice.

The End.

Directions to the shindig: Its the big white house next to the car dealership before you turn to Afton Lake Rd.

End of commerical announcments.

2004-08-04T22:37:00.000-04:00

All I have to say is:

CURSE YOU KEVIN GRUMBLE CAKES!

Okay done, speaking of homestarrunner.com I got a cool Trogdor the Burninator icon for my Ever And A Day sn. Everyone should check it out cause its super ghetto fly awesome.

-Heather

Who ever said, I needed you, lied. Who ever said, you knew the truth, lied. Who ever thought they knew my faith, lied. And if they think they know now, they fucking lie. They lie. Where are all your answers now that you've been called out? I kneel down and mourn for what we had. I can't be there for you now. Hear my voice of contention. It's sad you made me this way. Hear my voice of contention. It's so hard to see this end.

-Voice of Contention, Hatebreed

2004-08-04T18:00:00.000-04:00

Todays blog will be about my job. My lovely job and the reasons I passionatly hate it.

a.) Alphabetizing... hours and hours and hours of alphabetizing. See, what they do is wait until we are 6 months behind in alphabetizing the invoices (in one month there is a little over 3 large boxes full of invoices) then make us spend an entire week only alphabetizing. I work a 6 hour day. 6 hours of alphabetizing... not healthy.

b.) Stuffing envelopes... hours.. and hours of stuffing envelopes. Its a bit like alphabetizing... like every 2 weeks we get like 5,000 statements that have to be sent out. All which must be folded and stuffed in envelopes. Thats like a 3 day project.

c.) The pay, my practically non-existant pay.

d.) The people, now most of them I have grown to love. But some... grr. They are so frickin' nosey and its like gah! Now may we all remember when the Trevor kid came and the tidal wave as I called it that followed. Well, since his screenname was forcefully given to me by Jill/Stacey people keep asking me if I've talked to him. Tuesday Becky loudly asked me infront of like 3 people if I had talked to "that boy" I said yes, I had this weekend for a little while. Then today she asked again... twice! GAH! Once when I was talking to Justin and Justin of course was like "whos this Trever kid I gotta beat up now?" haha he's be silly. And then she asked again with Melody there. And I told her the first time with Justin that yes, I had talked to him this past weekend for a couple minutes. This was before my lunch break, so she asks again after it if I had talked to him. I nicely repeated that I had talked to him this weekend, she replies "Well I know that I mean has he been in contact since then?" and shes giving me this look with like really big eyes and nodding her head like "its okay tell me!" My brain thinks: What the hell... been in contact since when? Two hours ago? But all I said was "umm.. no..." *goes back to alphbetizing...* I don't see why this is such a big deal... and Kathy asked me too but I didn't mind that cause she was nice and not loud and no one was around she just was like "have you talked to Trever" and I said yeah this weekend. And she was like "You just talked?" And I was like yeah... *not sure what was supposed to happen* "Are you guys going to get together sometime?" "Umm... not that I know of..." :/ "oh.." and then she left. Of course this isn't the first time my non existant love life has been shown off at the office. May we all remember when they tried to hook me up with a guy I didn't even like because he had a "nice name". Yeah they like Trevors name too so that must be it... its all in the name.

e.) My boss who somehow finds out everything... all the time... and tells my mom... everything. Of course my mom doesn't exact hold back on the details of anything involving me. And usual once my boss knows, everyone knows.

f.) Sitting in one spot for 6 hours... I can't do that. Not cool.

The job has its perks though I suppose.

Jill and the fart putty.

It involves no thought.

Feast days! MUWHAHAHAHA!! Feast days are Mirabito holidays, either made up or real where everyone brings a dish and we fill up the entire board room with food. Its a beautiful, beautiful thing.

I'm good at it (my job, not feast days... though I'm good at feast days too I guess,).

I dunno, the only perk I really enjoy is feast days. Thats something that only comes with Mirabitos. And if I can just stick it out for the rest of the summer I'll be back to only a couple hours a day like 2 days a week because dance class will once again be back in my life... *sigh* I miss you all so very much! Anyway, I can do it! For the feast days!!

My foot hurts..

Thats all for now.

*Reverie*

No lyrics today, I'm too sick of typing. Maybe some tonight.

2004-08-02T20:24:00.000-04:00

I feel like going on an I miss Adam tangent and I confess it is taking ever ounce of will power to refrain from doing so. So instead I will talk about my day.

I woke up at the crack of noon and got ready for Brandon and Becca to come over. When they got there Brandon had brought me a suprise. How sweet. Then we went to the movie renter place and got Scary Movie 3 (even though I've seen it twice), and we got the large cheese pizza Brandon won yesterday. Then we went back to my house and watched the movie and ate the whole damn pizza and 2 boxes of girl scout cookies. Then we went and picked up Rachel at her job place and went back to my house and drank soda and ate chips and dip until like 5 and then we returned Scary Movie 3 and went to the pet store and looked at fishies. They were fun! I'm gonna smuggle a fish tank into my room some day cause I want a fish! Paticularly a little blue fishie with little yellow flippers. I saw one today the pet store and I love him!

Then I did nothing the rest of the day and now I'm on here. How exciting.

Thats it for the day. Look how good I refrained!

*Reverie*

In your own words could you tell me what this letter meant to you. "Seasons change as quick as feelings do." I said, do you get what I meant? All the while, I'm faking a smile in effort pretending to be sane. I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait for... autumn leaves to fall. So its getting colder, the days are shorter, the nights are longer now. The leaves hit the ground, our summers dead now. The bragging rights to the silly fights where be both knew that neither one was right.... I'd still "turn back time," I'd tell you how you're my best side and the only times that were justified was when.... I was in your arms... So its getting colder, the days are shorter the nights are longer now. Its the breaking sound of leaves and hearts on the ground.

-Finding Justice for Autumn, Stars In December

www.starsindecember.com

2004-08-01T19:15:00.000-04:00

Sorry I have been so bad about bloggin' lately but I really don't have much to talk about. Friday I went to see Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Sooo funny in that stupid stoner movie kinda way. Saturday... Saturday... man I don't remember... OH! I watched LOTR movies all day with my parents. And today I cleaned in the morning and then in a afternoon I went to go visit Becca when she was working at National Kids Day. Basically we sat around popping balloons and talking about nothing. I got much free stuffs (in order of coolness), including a shirt, 2 boxes of girlscout cookies, and a can a spray whip cream. I saw a couple people there a know that work at the club like Catie and Eric and Dan (I don't know him that good he's Brandons brother) and I saw Tommy L and thats be it. Tommy of course mauled me at all given chances when he was soaking wet. Damn you Tommy! But besides that it was good.

Adams working today so no hanging out with Adam.. :(

Becca and Brandon are coming over tomorrow! WHOOHOOO we's gonna watch movies and eat pizza and girl scout cookies!!! WHOOOHOOO

Thats all for now I have no interesting thoughts to share.

*Reverie*

This could be the very minute I'm aware I'm alive. All these places feel like home with a name I'd never chosen. I can make my first steps as a child of 25. This is the straw, final straw in the roof of my mouth as I lie to you. Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it at the time. You're the only thing that I love it scares me more every day. On my knees I think clearer , goodness I saw it coming or at least I'll claim I did. But in truth I'm lost for words. What have I done it's too late for that what have become truth is nothing yet. A simple mistake starts the hardest time I promise I'll do anything you ask...this time.

-Chocolate, Snow Patrol

2004-07-29T20:25:00.001-04:00

The past 24 hours or so have been interestin. Last night I hauled out Elroy and slept with him. For those of you unaware Elroy is a stuffie Dann gave me. I still love it oodles and oodles. And the bear I usually sleep with is getting old and its fur is starting to get rough so its not so cuddly anymore. The great thing about Elroy is he has no fur so he doesn't get rough. And Elroy has been there to sop up many a tears but also for many happy moments. He even went to FL with me, the elephant kicks ass. Anyway after me and Dann stopped doing whatever we were doing I threw Elroy into my closet and haven't slept with him since. But I missed him combined with Danns op today I decided to haul him out last night.

Then I had the wierdest/best dream ever. In my dream I went to the library to get toothpaste. But the toothpaste was special because it was foam and red and tasted like bubble gum. After I got it I brushed my teeth (I actually tasted it in my dream. so odd..) and then I talked to Adam on the phone and he said he was gonna come pick me up and we were gonna go do something. Adam got there but he looked like Kurt Cobain. He had like the long scraggly hair and everything. In my dream I didn't relieze he looked like Kurt though, I just kept looking at him and thinking wow he looks different... but he still acted like Adam so I loveded him just as much. And not that Kurt was a bad lookin man, infact I have a large poster of him near my bed cause he was hella hot with that guitar and all angry and dirty and singin... ahhh... the goodness. But it was just wierd to see Adam as Kurt.

Then I went to work and it was hella fun today. There was much slacking off. Between rubber band wars, to Jill getting out the fart putty, me bringing in some cake, and listening to like an hour talk about Stacies man problems it was interesting. And there was a hella big fire at the Rainbow Day care, at first I just heard day care and I got worried about my Rachie but then someone said it was Rainbow and she works at kids college, but Alannah works and Rainbow so I was not so happy. And I got paid today and tomorrow I'm getting my hair highlighted and cut so its super cool cause I need it hella bad!!!

Then I went to the mall, bought some stuff from claires on the 10 for $5 rack cause thats all I can afford in that damn store.

Oh and when I was at work Stacy and Jill started in on me about the guy Trevor that came to work like a week ago. You may remember him from an old post about how much I got harped on about it by Becky when I didn't do anything. Damn old people... anyway they like forcefully gave me his screen name, Jill even wrote it down for me and shoved it in my face. And I added him and he was on but I didn't get around to talk to him before he got off. Oh well, I don't have work tomorrow. I just have to talk to him by next tuesday. And all I have to say is like hi, and then maybe Jill will shut up.

I hope Adam gets on tonight. I wanna bug him. See the girls at the office don't like Adam at all, in fact they hate him. For good reason too cause he was all smoochin on Rachel Scott and stood me up kinda yeah he did I guess. Unfortunatly, somehow, I can't hate him. I'm trying, but its hard. Its very very hard.

Thats all for now, I shall close with some The Darkness lyrics.

*Reverie*

The first flush of youth was upon you when our eyes first met and I knew that to you and into your life I had to get. I felt light-headed at the touch of this stranger's hand, an assault my defences systematically failed to withstand. 'Cause you came at a time when the pursuit of one true love in which to fall was the be all and end all. Love is only a feeling, drifting away. When I'm in your arms I start believing, it's here to stay. But love is only a feeling... Anyway. The state of elation that this unison of hearts achieved. I had seen, I had touched, I had tasted and I truly believed; that the light of my life would tear a hole right through each cloud that scudded by. Just to beam on you and I. Love is only a feeling, drifting away. When I'm in your arms I start believing, it's here to stay. But love is only a feeling anyway.

-Love Is Only A Feeling, The Darkness

2004-07-28T21:49:00.000-04:00

I went to work today. I stuffed envelopes. I stuffed a little under 2,000 envelopes. My hands were tired. I don't feel like typing tonight.

hahaha That was wierd, I couldn't leave my blog on such an odd note. I talked to Adam today, it was fun. I've missed him oodles and oodles. He's away now, I wish he would come back cause I wanna talk to him more. I dunno what about yet, I'll figure something out later.

I hate Britney Spears. I passionatly hate her. I watched some of her live in miami show last night, yeah I was getting desperate. Anyway, it was so fake! How could someone pay to see that!? I mean... everyone knows she fakes singing on stage but this was too much. For that song she has called Everytime theres a piano part. So they get out a piano and shes in this fairy costume and she all sits there and fakes playing. You know shes fakin it cause the keys are all covered with flowers and when they do a back shot her hands don't move. Then the greatest thing was like half way through the song she just stood up and kept singing and the piano was still going. She might have actually sang that song though cause it was really bad and she had bad diction and instead of saying "fly" she said "lie" wait till Mrs. Olson catches up to her. Really the greatest thing about the whole show was the audience. Without a doubt. Okay so at a rock concert theres like moshing and jumping and screaming and crap and I didn't reall expect that but what I got was so much better. The people just stood there, they didn't move at all. And like 75% of them were guys... how can you look at yourself in the mirror and call yourself a man if you bought front row tickets to a Britney Spears concert. The only good thing about it all was the dancers. Though they for the most part ran around in nude spandex and had mohawks they were cool. Well they were cool when they weren't sexually rubbing themselves and humping stairs. Yes, that did happen and I was scared. But there was this part with ribbon dancers. They were litterally hanging from these huge ribbons and they were dancing and they were all intertwined in the ribbon and thats what held them up. I thought that was cool. But overall I can't believe I wasted my time watching that damn show.

On to fun things! I made a double layer dark chocolate cake with dark chocolate frosting.
It is the best damn cake ever. Unfortunatly... I have no cake holders nor do I have any serane wrap. So... I cut my cake into pieces and stuffed it into a tupper ware box. Its not really cake anymore. Its like... cake in a box. I litterally had to stuff it too cause it was like mountainy. My poor cake! I did take a picture before I cut myself a slice because it was so pretty! I'll post it on here someday when I get that camera developed.

Thats all for now!

*Reverie*

Seems the road less traveled show's happiness unraveled. And you got to take a little dirt to keep what you love. That's what you gotta do.

-If You Could Only See, Tonic

Yeah I heard that song on the radio today and was like I miss that song! So I had to post it.

2004-07-28T13:46:00.000-04:00

Hey guys, sorry I didn't write yesterday I was grounded from the computer... -.-

Lets see... yesterday I went to work and it rained a bunch. But it was okay cause I walked home and purposly ran through puddles. I dunno why, it was fun! Then I did a small amount of working out cause I was talking to Kendra and shes all "yeah I'm trying to get back in shape for dance" and so I was like yeah I probably should too. I didn't know one month without dance could make you so out of shape. For goodness sakes it was just silly. But I'm definatly feeling the burn, only in my calfs though cause I did like a billion releves and its like AHH Pain! Anyway, then I got bored with working out so I put on some Ben Folds Five "Song for the Dumped" and grabbed my mic (also known as a mop) and danced around the room singing. Good song.. I'll have to post the lyrics. Then I watched some TV and talked to Stephi on the phone until like 1. then I tried to go to bed and had an anxiety attack, it was stupid there was much crying and hugging my teddy bear. It was so stupid cause I haven't had one in a long time. But for some reason I couldn't sleep anywhere but curled up on my floor with my door open and the hall light on but at least I got to sleep which is an amazing feat during an anxiety attack. Then my cat woke me up at 4:30 and she was scracthing the walls so I went to the bathroom sink got some water in my hands and poured it on her. MUWHAHAHAHAHA hey, she deserved it. You should see our hall walls!!!!!! Shes ripped them up like crazy. Good thing me and my mom are redoing that hall this weekend. Screw you cat! Anyway, then I went back to my bed cause my crazy attack was over so I felt okay in my bed again, that and I didn't want my parents to know I had a crazy attack cause they would freak out or yell at me. Neither are really the desired effect lol. Anyway, then I got up at 8:55 and still got to work on time! It was amazing!

Speaking of work I must get back because I'm on my lunch break and it was up like 2 minutes ago and I'm still at my house so I need to get my butt back there.

*Reverie*

So you wanted to take a break. Slow it down some and have some space. Well fuck you too! Give me my money back, give me my money back you bitch! I want my money back (And don't forget to giveme back my black T-Shirt). Wish I hadn't bought you dinner right before you dumped me on your front porch. Give me my money back, give me my money back you bitch!I want my money back and don't forget to give me back my black tshirt.

-Song For The Dumped, Ben Folds Five

Okay, technically I can't relate to that song cause I haven't been dumped recently BUT its still good stuffs.

2004-07-26T19:38:00.000-04:00

I'll sing it one last time for you then we really have to go. You've been the only thing that's right in all I've done and I can barely look at you. But every single time I do I know we'll make it anywhere, anyway from here. Light up, light up as if you have a choice. Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear. Louder, louder and we'll run for our lives. I can hardly speak I understand. Why you can't raise your voice to say, to think I might not see those eyes makes it so hard not to cry. And as we say our long goodbye, I nearly do Light up... Slower, slower. We don't have time for that, I just want to find an easier way to get out of our little heads. Have heart my dear, we're bound to be afraid. Even if it's just for a few days, making up for all this mess.

-Run, Snow Patrol

Very awesome song I had to post, sorry to bombard you all with lyrics. I'll stop now. hehe

*Reverie*

2004-07-26T18:23:00.000-04:00

Today was alright, I got to hang out with Becca, Rachel, and Brandon. Which is good, I needed some social interaction that didn't involve my job or my family. They came over at like 1 and we walked around and we went for pizza. Then it rained and Brandon had to get his bike from the Civic center so we're all sitting on the stairs in the front lobby and I hear Tommy L yelling "My horse!!" (don't ask... really... don't...) anyway I was tackled by him and he refused to get off until I promised to come visit him. Of course I'm not going to, but he's grown considerably since the last time I saw him and he was about to kill me. lol He's very loveable though so its excuseable.

Anyway then we decided we should get a movie and watch it at my house so Becca and Brandon went to rent a movie and I picked up my house. They ended up getting TX Chainsaw. meh, it was alright. They didn't stay with the story of the first one that much. I mean... they was leatherface and the chainsaw and stuff but no chick blows her brains out in thier van the first time around. Though I did kinda like it better.. oh jesus that sounds sick to say that. I don't mean I like people blowing thier brains out but they looped it all around in then end in a good way. But overall the movie wasn't scary it was just gross... overly disgustingly gross. I need movies that make me think, not want to puke. I spent a lot of time burying my head in Brandon.

Now I must talk of Brandon, and my anger for my mother. Okay, so Brandon and me are homefrys. I love him oodles and oodles, but I don't have any kind of attraction to him. Yes, I buried my head into him during the movie and stayed there but not because I like him. All of us (and by us I mean me and the Bookhouts) do that to him, as Rachel puts it he has a really good muscle to fat ratio thusly good for cuddelage. Anyway, the Bookhouts left early but Brandon wanted to stay to finish the movie and so I layed my head on him and grabbed a pillow to cling to and watched the movie in horror (it was so gross..) and thats as far as it went and we gave Brandon a ride home cause I thought it was silly for him to ride his bike home in the rain and we were on the way back and my mom was all "You guys were making out," and I was so horrified. I was like ew mom no! And she was all "yeah yeah whatever." I dunno, she apparently can't wrap her brain around two teenagers of the opposite sex just being friends which just angers me. I dunno, I try to think I'm more mature than the average teenager but I know I'm not. But I try hella frickin hard. lol

On to my new something I have to do before I get old and fat type thing, to get front row tickets to a rock concert. Where did this come from you ask? I was watching late night TV last night and I came across Trapt playing at the Hard Rock Cafe in Orlando. The first song that I saw still remains my favorite its called Stories, I'll post it here in a bit I mean I don't want to say "it spoke to me" cause thats hella cheesy but I definatly was like... hell yes. Cause its kinda Adamish but i don't like to admit it cause I'm pretending I don't care... its so working... lol Anyway, these people are like belting the songs out with him and like... doing that whole jumping in unison thing, crowd surfing, and there was a big mosh pit. Man.. it was awesome. And I was just like... I want to be there. And so thats my new goal and I think its awesometabulous.

Thats all for now,

*Reverie*

I found a line and then it grew, I found myself still thinking of you. I felt so empty and now I'm fine. But still it's burning, when will you be mine? Now look at me, still on your mind. Our memories so intertwined. Well you broke through and found your way. And so did I, no need to stay. The same old pictures, tried and true. Been through there, looking for something new. Do you remember lying on the beach so late at night? Do you remember running through the sprinklers that night? Do you remember all the songs that I have wrote for you? I remember, the way you made me feel when I was with you. I remember, the smile that always brought me back to you. That look in your eyes, I never thought that this could be untrue. Too much of the same stories in our lives. I think its time to change, don't you? Too much of the same stories in our lives. I think it's time for us to walk away from here.

-Stories, Trapt

2004-07-25T23:03:00.000-04:00

Here's a pic of We Are Lions... they're even hot with red eye... how amazing is that? lol

www.myspace.com/wearelions

www.purevolume.com/wearelions

2004-07-25T22:30:00.000-04:00

*runs around in party hat with one of those noise makers* WHOOOHOOO my hundered and 1st blog entry! How exciting is that? I'm in the triple digits baby! lol I would have celebrated my 100th but that was taken up by my erie post, but thats okay. 101 is so much cooler cause you can reverse it and it says the same thing! eh eh? How fancy is that?

Sooo today.. I brushed my dog... and I spontainiously cleaned my shower cause it twas lookin pretty gross and with the new fancy pants shower head it deserves to be prettyful. And... I ate bagel bites... extra pepperoni kind! ohhh yeah!! And me and Becca and Brandon are gonna hang out tomorrow so I'll have interestin stuff to write about tomorrow. I also read blogs... that was about it. Oh in lue of Rachels blog entry to moi.

My Rachie whom I love dearly,

I feel bad I made you feel bad and you felt the need to apoligize. My entry about what you said didn't nesscairly anger me as much as it made me feel the desire to just defend myself. Considering many many people read your blog and I don't want the world thinking I'm so huge skank bag. I know you don't think that of me but you can't control other peoples thoughts (as hard as I know you try. lol) Thats all for now, oodles and oodles of love for you!

It occured to me I have not been on a date in along time... mind you I have made plans for various dates that all fell through, mainly cause Adam sucks ass. And its not that I couldn't get a date with someone besides Adam but its like I told Becca. I don't want those ones. And its not nescarrily that I want what I can't have I just have this issue of like... I pick something I want and thats what I want. And I just chose not to be satisfied with anything else. I mean lets say I just dated someone else that I didn't like in hopes they would grow on me. I would dump them in like a week cause I would obsessivly nit pick them and glare in thier general direction. The great thing about when I actually do like someone I love them not only for thier good qualities but I love thier flaws too. I dunno I'm a lot like my father in that way I suppose. For example, my father loves my moms singing. Shes a terrible singer, when she breaks into song I usually stare at her until she stops. My father on the other hand is always like "Heather stop, shes a happy little song bird!" (so cheesy I know..) and then plants a big smoocher on my mom and its just like bleh.. nvm.. I dunno what I'm talking about anymore so I'll just stop now... and I'll leave you with some cool We Are Lions lyrics.

*Reverie*

We’ll make necklaces of scrapped metal and some loose twine. We’ll try our hardest to finish three bottles of cheap wine. Because we both know, as we get older our taste will improve. But for tonight let’s pretend we’ve got something to lose. Two stabs to my side I’m screaming through this smile. That I’m so happy you’re happy. My fingernails are what scarred your hardwood floor. As I tried my hardest to leave my mark as I dragged myself out your door. Because I know, as I get older my taste will improve. But for tonight I’ll pretend that you will do. Two stabs to my side I’m screaming through this smile. That I’m so happy you’re happy. Hey beautiful. You’re not beautiful.

-Greco Roman Goodbyes, We Are Lions (photo above)

2004-07-24T23:13:00.000-04:00

I can't post a pic of Erie on here cause thier site is gay and nothings in JPEG format and thats all I can post..but... Erie kicks ass, I didn't get to see them but many many people told me they rock, and they rock hard lol. And I talked to a couple of the guys in thier band. They are so awesometabulous.

www.erierock.com

This is it for now, cause I'm gettin damn sick of this.

2004-07-24T22:45:00.000-04:00

Here's be The Degenerates. They's be so very very kick ass. I hearts them mucho mucho.

www.thedegeneratesrock.com

2004-07-24T22:34:00.000-04:00

Thought I would post some of the bands we saw today. Cause good bands can never get enough promo. Here's theTRACKRECORD... so hot....

www.thetrackrecord.com

www.purevolume.com/thetrackrecord

2004-07-24T21:54:00.000-04:00

This weekend has been jam packed with kick assness. Friday went to Hot Topic... a guy with hottness of biblical preportions hit on me. Omg... the hottness... it was awesome... Then Friday night at Stephis, I loveses my Stephi so very very much. We stayed up until 5:30 cause we're bad asses and we slept in until 1:30.

Then Saturday... the day of hottness... no... more than hottness... I can't even say how great today was. We went to the Battle of the Bands in Afton. Oh... my lord. The guys there... wow. I don't think it should be called the battle of the bands... it should be called like.. the calling of grogeous guys that live within 100 miles. Oh man, it was great. Unfortunatly Dann and Kyle were there and I wanted to be like.. O_o Die! Get your own place to be! lol I didn't of course we all hung out a bit. Course it wasn't like the good old days cause without Stephanie Kyle sucks more than usual. I fell in love with this band called the track record... they kicked so very much ass. And all the guys were very goodly looking so that always helps. But they were really good regardless. And I got Stephanie to conquer her fears of the ferris wheel via forcing her on one. She almost died at first and I felt really bad cause I thought she was gonna puke either that or have some major anxiety attack... but then toward the end she was satisfied with grasping the pole for dear life when we went up to the very top. Besides that she sat back and was fine. I knew she could do it. She's so silly. Then I got mad at her for reasons we won't go into... -.0 (Your still on the shit list for that!)

I was catching up on Rachels blog and I was not overly happy. There was this one part and I'll just past it here so I don't have to explain, me and her were talking about relationships when we were in like 8th grade.

I was saying that i would perfer a realtionship without the sense of having one, which just making out and all that shit, with no emotional baggage. I didn't need any sort of attachemnt, blah blah blah and a whole lot of more shit added to that.

It's funny how things turn out, ne? Since Heathie was like, " Bullshit. You will want to be attached to them and thus it will never work."

Ah, the irony of it all. For fear of saying more then needed and trying to respect people's wishes, let's see this, if real life counts for anything, our opinions have now been reversed...

I dunno why this bothered me as much as it did. I guess she thinks I prefer a relationship with no attachments which is BS. My desire of attatchment to a guy is ridiculous. Yes, I confess I have gone down the party hardy unattached road once. But it meant absolutly nothing to me. I got absolutly nothing from it, I absotivly hated it. Sitting in Adams car talking for5 minutes means 1,000 times more to me then unattatched shit. Ever damn song on the radio I hear its like my god.. if I could feel that wouldn't that be nice. I'm very lonely lately as you can tell. And sitting on here talking about it is not helping the situation.

*Reverie*

Tear me down like you don't ever want me back. Promise me that you won't call me when you're sad and I swear that I'll be gone tomorrow. Just let me stay with you tonight, I never thought I'd see this day. This all seems so out of place, I never thought you'd be this way. I loved you but now I've come to see that I am on my own, all alone. What made you think this was right? You fucked up and ruined my life. I'll always remember this night, I hate you because now I've cometo see that I am on my own, all alone. I never thought I'd see this day, I never thought you'd be this way.

-thetrackrecord

2004-07-22T23:01:00.000-04:00

I used to be a superhero, no one could touch me. Not even myself. You are like a phone booth I somehow stumbled into and now look at me. I'm just like everybody else. If I was dressed in my best defenses would you agree to meet me for coffee? If I did my tricks with smoke and mirrors would you still know which one was me? If I was naked and screaming on your front lawn... screaming, there's the asshole who did this to me! Stripped me of my powers, stripped me down. You've been gone exactly two weeks, two weeks and three days. And now I'm a diffrent person, diffrent in so many ways. Tell me what did you like about me? Don't say my strength and daring. 'Cause now I think I'm at your mercy, and its my first time for this kind of thing. I used to be a superhero.. I would swoop down and save me from myself. You are like a phone booth I stumbled into and now look at me. I am just like everybody else... I am worse than everybody else.

-Ani DiFranco

More Ani DiFranco cause she is so frickin awesome! And if you don't listen to her you should! lol

Well, Daily Shows on so I'm off. laters my home frys!

*Reverie*

2004-07-22T22:52:00.000-04:00

Hey yalls, today was interestin. My alarm clock sounded at the bright and early time of 8:45... I have to be at work at 9... you can imagine the panic. I got there at 9:10 after a really fast shower, crappy hair job, throwing on clothes... I don't even like this outfit.. and like throwing foundation at my face. Anyway, this was the worst day ever ever ever to dress down because of the following reasons:

a. I saw Adam on my lunch hour. Yeah, it sucked. I didn't even really want to see him cause it put a damper on my day. I had spent the morning alphabitizing stuff with Justin in the board room. And it was fun stuffs, we discovered you can do that record scratching thing on the board room table cause its like anal retentivly clean so you rub your hands on it and it makes squeaky noises. Man.. all we needed was a bass behind us... we tired "b-boxing" but we are white kids, white kids can't b-box. We work so hard at Mirabitos don't we? lol how sad is that? we get paid to pretend to be black. But it was fun at least. ANYWAY, back to Adam story. I get so side tracked... anywho. I saw him and I didn't want to cause I'm still pissed about the whole standing me up and not calling thing... damn him...

and

b. This good looking guy came in and here I am looking like crap. He's Stacys cousin but I didn't know that at the time. So its like total strangers comes into the room, smile and then go back to work. I didn't know who he was, he could have been someones boyfriend or something. Anyway after he leaves Becky is all Ohhh Stacy how old is your cousin? and she says he's 16 going on 17. Does he have a girlfriend? she said no. Immediatly everyone in the room looks at me. And it was like... oh no... Have you ever seen the commercial where the car drives faster then sound and suddenly there's a WHOOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHH and like the sound catchs up with the car? Thats what it was like. They looked at me and suddenly there was like this growing tidal wave of giggles & squawks oh how he needs a strong working woman in his life since he doesn't have a job, I just bury my head in my hands yelling STOP STOP! It was so terrible, thier all reanacting how he fixed his hair when he saw me and it was like Sweet jesus! He just fixed his hair! and how I illedgadly blushed and batted my eyelashes... I don't even have the cooridination to bat my eyelashes... these little old ladies don't have enough time on thier hands I swear. It was funny nevertheless.

I love my job though, we have the best times. They feed us allll the time! And theres unlimited hot chocolate. And theres Justin, can't go wrong with a kid that can talk about snorting fetishes and will b-box with you in the board room when theres no one around. hahaha And theres Melody shes so nice, we sat there yesterday seeing how many loyalty applications weren't from the USA. Yeah, we were slacking off... so sue us! Theres a few Canadians, they have funny zip codes. I love the part timers. But I love the way back room (which is where the whole thing with the guy went one) they are so awesome! Thier real women too, not stupid weak ones. Survived divorce, cancer and one was in a motercycle gang... you can't go wrong with that.

Well enough for tonight, hope you liked my ode to Mirabitos part-timers. As me and Justin put it: We do the job no one else wants to do and get paid less for it.

*Reverie*

And by the way! We part timers aren't the only ones that slack off! When the big boss people left for lunch yesterday Jill got out her fart putty and was running around with it being retarded and grossing people out. Melody and I are in there just innocently working and we hear this fart of like biblical preportions coming from the hall. Of course its Jill pretending its her and being like "Oh I'm... I'm so sorry." and making this faces... she hid it on someone and they actually believed it was her farting and they were like horrified... oh man... that office I swear. Theres never a dull moment...

2004-07-21T16:51:00.000-04:00

Yay I went to work today. It was less than exciting. Then I came home... not very exciting either. But in exciting news for my 16th birthday my parents are taking me to see Bill Cosby at the Turning Stone Casino. I'm really excited sadly enough. I like grew up on the Cosby show and to be in the same room as him is gonna kick so much ass. Of course the show is on the Bookhouts birthday. But I'll only be gone a couple hours and maybe they won't have thier party that weekend. Hey I can dream.

Brads at Stephanies house... again... I know he's going away tomorrow and crap but for goodness sakes that doesn't mean you have him over like everyday all week at all hours of the night. Doesn't he have a job? Brad you need to start sharing Stephanie more.

Well thats all for today, don't feel like talking tonight.

*Reverie*

I'm just another woman lost. Your like a fish in the water, you don't know that they wet. As far as I can tell, the world isn't perfect yet. And I don't think there's one of us that leads a life free of mistakes.

2004-07-20T22:50:00.000-04:00

I can't always wait for your circumstance to improve. Love is loose it shifts everytime you move. Go ahead, put my back against the wall. Give it all up or don't give it to me at all. You never know this could be our last night so step back, step back into the light. So I can see your sillouette. I'm not done looking yet. I'm going to turn and walk away. You wait till I'm far along then come and catch my arm and say you'd die if I were gone. Yes, I'm going to turn and walk away. You can watch me go or you can make me stay.

-Ani DiFranco

I found these online after someone suggested this girl to me. I find them so damn fitting to my life right now I had to post 'em.

*Reverie*

2004-07-20T20:06:00.000-04:00

So people, yesterday I said Adam was going to call me today but I wasn't getting my hopes up and I bet you all thought I was being a pessimistic bitch eh? Well guess what? I was merely being a realist. I went to work today, totally didn't have my head in the game. I was 10 minutes late to work, I got there and slacked off a bunch. I didn't really care I wanted to leave. I hung out with Becca and Brandon on my lunch hour it was fun. I've missed them both oodles and oodles. Then I went back to work and then I went home expecting Adam to call at some point around say... 5. Around 5:30 he was yet to call so I knew he wasn't going to, my mother came home later and was suprised to find me at the house/alone. She asked if he had blew me off I nodded while I glared at Conan O'brian on the TV. She asked how much longer I was going to put up with him doing this. I shrugged. At this point my anger was far to great for me to be talking to anyone because I was afraid what I might say. So instead I resigned to curling up in my big pink chair and falling in and out of sleep because thats how I deal with anger.... sleep it off, works like a charm hehe. Then Stephanie called, oh man... she had the best story ever. I won't repeat it on her cause I doubt she would appreciate it. But it was good stuff and totally cheered me up. Then at like 7:30 I got online, Adam got on about 5 minutes after I did. I glared at his screen name for a good 15 minutes. He fails to start a conversation so I resentfully say hey. We go through the universal whats up? nm, you? nm thing then... silence. He's not going to apologize or even mention it until I force it out of him. I go for the indirect approach of "what'd you do today? anything fun?" subliminal messaging: It better have been good like ending the AIDs epidemic for you to not have even called. Nope, no AIDs cure. What did he do you ask? Oh, his moms car broke down so he's been driving her around since four. Note: theres no apology here either. he asks me what I did well he said whats up again. I decided to tell him. I told him I went to work, waited an hour for him to call when he didn't I came up with the slogan "fuck you Adam" (yes I said that to him) after which I yelled at my cat and ended up watching Comedy central all night. he finally aplogizes and calls himself an asshole. This does not satisfy the mighty god of Heathers anger. It merely keeps it at bay (also known as I won't bitch him out just yet, just be grumpy at him). The mighty god of my anger... hehehe thats funny.

The thing about this all is I absolutly cannot stand this whole being stood up shit. Not because of what he does persay, its the way it makes me feel. Like oh, I'm not good enough to call and tell me you can't go. Your the frickin one that asked me! GAH!!! Sorry, I get so violently angry... its just... what the hell... I dunno I can't put it into words without swearing more. Just know its a mixture of anger and sadness.

Well thats all for today, laters my home fries.

*Reverie*

And tell me, how should I feel? And all the games you play, on me. You still make me feel like nothing. When you break me down I'll fall apart and wrestle with myself inside. I'm nothing.

2004-07-19T20:04:00.000-04:00

Today I followed the usual formula of a day off in the life of Heather. I rose from the sleeping chambers at noon. I came downstairs and had cookies and cream ice cream for breakfast. Well that and I had a yogurt too. Then I played video games for a bit more. Basking in the greatness of the game for a few more hours because it had to be returned today. I already have a two day late fee. Then I cleaned the house up a bit for my mom and then I hoppeded in the shower, got dressed, and returned the video game. On the way I saw Becca and we walked to VEP together and then back to the library/my house. Then I came home and watched the Daily show for a bit then the phone rang and thusly the highlight of my entire day....

Who was it you ask? Twas Adam but of course considering the only other person that calls me is Stephi. And thats not really a highlight of the day more of a routine. But its always fun, last night I litterally fell out of my chair from laughter... of course it was my own joke and I couldn't even get it out through my tears of joy so Stephi just sat there as I curled into the fetal position on my floor in pain from the excessive silent laughter. Anyway back to Adam story. I get side tracked so easily... we talked for a bit and he was gonna come over but then he couldn't cause he needed to help his mom. What a good kid. lol But we may possibly hang out tomorrow. More on that as information comes in... But while talking he asked me what I have been up to lately... I said nothing andhe was like "You must have some kind of life." And I just was kinda like ".. I cleaned my room yesterday..." I didn't even think of the bridal shower the other day, or my recital last weekend... I think it was last weekend at least.. I lose track of time. Feels like it was ages ago. Or the battle of the bands that I'm going to this saturday. Nope... thebest thing I could come up with was I cleaned my room. Jeese, I must look so exciting. lol Oh well, I'll make a mental note to talk about it tomorrow. That is if we hang out, can't get my hopes up cause if I do and then we don't lord knows I'll get really pissy.

Thats about all for now,

*Reverie*

Turn around! Stick it out! Even white boys got to shout! Baby got back!

Yeah me and Stephs song... don't ask...

2004-07-18T23:01:00.000-04:00

I took a test I foundin Stevis in info and I foundout my life is R-rated.

This came as really no big suprise. A lot of things happen that I don't write about in my blog because I like to keep my blog clean and free of my wrong doings. I of course tell my 3 super hero friends Stephi, Becca, and Katie all of them, but not the general public, most people I don't mind knowing but the Bookhouts mom reads this (Hi Pat!) and I don't need bad things happening to me lol. I haven't talked to Rachel in so long I haven't told her the stories. At some sleepover or something I'll have to confess to her. She'll shame me. Oh well, she'll get over it. Rachie I loveses you. :) And just to clear everyones worry I've never smoked, done drugs, drank alcohol, skipped classes, or had sex. But that means absolutly nothing. 0=) Well enough about my alter ego. lol

*Reverie*

2004-07-18T21:29:00.000-04:00

Todays entry will be much shorter than yesterdays. Considering I did much less today than I did yesterday. I woke up and I rolled out of bed and started cleaning my room. See the trick to making me do chores is do it really early in the morning before my brain knows whats going on. And by early I mean like 10. After this I went down stairs and played video games ALLLL day. It was sooo sad! I have no life! Then I got on my computer and thats the only interesting thing I have done all day.

I started talking to Brandons ex girlfriends recently. I first talked to Melissa who I immediatly became friends with because shes very nice and was trying to get over Brandon so I helpeded her. I think, I dunno I called him many names and brought up all his bad habits. I mean I love Brandon oodles and oodles, but after your dumped by a guy you need to hear him be trashed. Then today I talked to Kim for the first time. Shes I dunno, I have heard so many not nice things about this girl and shes not terribly bad. But then again everyones nice in the beginning... must be catious!!! *paranoid face* O.o

Alright well thats about all for tonight. Sory for the lame entry but a day without blogging is just... incomplete. hehe

*Reverie*

PS: I have Italian opera stuck in my head. Incase anyone wanted to know.

2004-07-17T22:38:00.000-04:00

Okay Beccas day kicked my days ass... only cause she got hit on by a transvestite and his name was Kimmy. How frickin great is that?! Becca, you rock. lol =P

*Reverie*

2004-07-17T21:18:00.000-04:00

Today was really screwed up. If you read my entry from yesterday you know I went to a bridal shower today... more on that in a few moments. The first stop was my Aunt Debbie and Uncle Jimmys house.

Let me first explain what my mothers side of the family are like. They are for the most part large toothless hillbillies. I love them dearly, but they are. They talk with the thickest accent, I have no idea what they say sometimes. Good thing my mom repeats stuff she hears because she doubles as a translator for me. My uncle Jimmy and Aunt Debbie live in a double wide on top of a hill, its filled with various antique furniture they bought off of ebay. And for all the money they spent its the most uncomfortable stuff I've ever sat on. Gimme a lazy boy anyday. Anyway my uncle Jimmy got hit in the mouth back in the day and thusly has no front teeth. He is also a truck driver and thusly has the classicly overlarge beer belly. And lolls around his house in ripped jeans and shirts that his stomach protrudes from.

My Aunt Debbie on the other hand is... interesting. Shes a large butch woman, she has all her teeth. She goes off on really loudly on tangents whenever the oppertunity arises. And if shes not going off on a tangent... shes still really loud. She harresses me about my non existant boyfriends and she is also going through menopause. Thusly in the middle of a conversation with me she suddenly whips her hair up and starts cursing about hotflashes. If anyone says anything rude to her joking or other wise, she takes em out. She is a strong woman who I have grown to love over many years of harressment. She also dated my father for awhile... I think... I dunno they did something... (no its not like incest or something because she married into my mothers side of the family and yeah its just it sounds odd I guess but it isn't.) I don't know what my dad saw in her since she is the complete opposite of my shy quiet mother in like every way. Maybe I should just stop thinking about my Aunt and my dad together cause its definatly creeping me out.

Anyway, so we go over to thier house at like 1, my Aunt called my mom because she wanted to "talk" to her. See, the thing is I was almost a millionaire for like 2 hours. It was exciting. See, my family owns a 45 acre plot of land up in the boonies. A nieghbor of the land found natural gas on thier land. Well, they are still looking for it but they know its there cause they did some tests for it. Anyway, illegadly there was a possibility of it being on our land also. I mean, I'm not a greedy capitalist but the thought of my parents not having to live from pay check to pay check and scrounge for my dance money was a very nice thought. Had there been oil we would have only gotten 1/4 of the money. In the wildest of my fleeting dreams I had a mental image of moving off Grand St. I knew it was all a dream, thusly while I dreamed I thought of getting a flying pony which would sleep in my bedroom and would be pink and look like a My Little Pony. It was a nice thought. Anyway, supposedly my Uncle Donny checked for oil and found none. So... no flying pink ponies for me. =( But in the mean time the whole family is trying to buy property out from under each other on a wild goose chase for natural gas. Its interesting to sit back and watch.

So we get there to "talk" and my Aunt isn't there, only my uncle who's lolling on the couch watching a cowboys and indians movie but no one was talking. It was wierd. As soon as we get in he starts showing off all the new furniture he bought offline, most likely Ebay because thats were everything else they own came from. I swear if they could get thier food off thier they would. After some small talk where they trash like every relative in the family, we que my angry alcoholic uncle Leslie to enter the scene with a 12 pack of beer.

My uncle Leslie also really loud and also has no teeth. Which is actually an interesting story so I must tell it. When my uncle was a teenager he became like an anerexic. His diet consisded of only celerey and water. After about a year of this, due to malnutrition, all his teeth fell out. From that day forward he swore he would never go hungry again. And he hasn't, he is a large toothless man. As soon as my mom sees the beer he has she speeds up her coffee drinking and we leave to go over to my aunt celieas house for the bridal shower. See like I said he's an angry alcoholic and neither my mom or I want to be around to witness it.

When we were at the bridal shower I stood in the corner drinking lemonade and once and awhile inching toward the table for some cheese and crackers. I like observing my relatives since I don't know them very well. My aunt celiea is your typical hill billy wife. Shes very loud, the house is in wrecks at all times & she has about 5 million kids. Wierd people from various farms stop by randomly, they are all also reallly loud and talk about hunting a lot, and diffrent types of soil. Say... mountain soil vs slatey river bed soil. By the way nothing in this blog is made up or exaggerated. Well except the part about the 5 million kids...

My cousin Jamie is your typical daughter to typical hill billy parents. She has two kids and was never married or maybe she did once... wait I think she did. Both kids have diffrent fathers and for the most part she leaves the kids off at my aunts house and goes off to do things I don't want to think about. She also has various piercings and is really loud.

There is this woman named like.. Maud.. or Marge I don't know anyway. She is extremly large and old and also has no teeth. In fact, today she wore her bottom teeth for the first time in 18 years. Amazing eh? Shes also very loud suprise suprise. She knew my grandmother haviland (my dads mom), and I suppose they didn't get along because she went on this long talk with my mom about this one time my grandma bitched her out at Ozzies and she told my Grandmother to like fuck off. I doubt this happened. In reality my Grandmother probably said something petty and evil because shes like that but she sugar coated it with niceness cause my Grandmas one of those people and Marge.. or Maud.. whatever... told her to go to hell. I dunno, just a guess.

The prize of this whole bunch of woman was this little old woman who chain smokes. And you can tell she has her whole life because she has that voice, you know the one where the woman sounds like a man. And hobbles around looking nice and happy but you know shes the type of woman that could throw back to shots of some really hard liquor without blinking and ask for more. And shes old, thusly making this like 20 times better. I dunno, I liked her. lol

I also liked my cousin tommys wife, she married into the family last summer and shes so nice. Isn't gargantunly fat, has all her teeth, AND itsn't loud. She talks like a normal person, its amazing.

Anyway on to the bridal shower for my cousin Belinda, after retarded games and silly door prizes were given out we opened presents. We gave her a toaster. Exciting.

Oh! and then they were talking and my Aunt Debbie spontaniously asked Marge if she wanted a dildo. (I know, scaring.) and marge is like "NO!!.... I'm allergic to latex... it was the worst way to find out." I didn't know they were made of latex though... I don't think they are... if anyone knows... please tell me. lol jk

Then there was cake, it was good cake. I wanted more, but my corner in the back was too comfy and safe. Besides they were passing around pictures of a cake they made for like... my 15th cousins bridal shower I don't really know, I just know I have a really extended family and shes part of the extended part. Anyway the cake was shaped like a huge penis and filled with vanilla pudding. I did not want to be part of that conversation.

Then I saw people leaving so I slunk (I don't know.. the past tense of the verb 'slink') to my mom and was like... "can we go toooo?" and we got to go home. And I came home and played Grand Theft Auto III and watched the tapes of me and Stephi at Fishy Lake.

Thats all for now, hope you enjoyed my roundup of my family. Trust me I didn't talk about everyone theres a lot more...

*Reverie*

2004-07-16T23:33:00.000-04:00

Whheeehoooo! Today was... fun!!!!!!!

I woke up at the crack of noon. After an hour shower I changed into clean pajamas and I went downstairs to make a bolonga and cheese sammich. After this I went to Video Entertainment Plus in my pajamas and rented Grand Theft Auto III. While there and woman at the counter was really loudly renting an X-rated movie. The irony of it all was she was talking about how she didn't want people to know she was renting an X-rated film. Yet she was talking about it REALLY loudly. Like I could hear it at the back of the store. And this is why I love people so much. hehe After this, I came home. And I played Grand Theft Auto.. until like...4. At which point Stephanie called. Her 7 year old nephew really wants to go skating. She doesn't want to sit there alone, so I'm dragged to the rollar skating rink. I didn't dress up, I had on the jeans I wore yesterday and my teletubbies shirt. Stephanie picked me up and she had like make up on and looked so pretty and I was like umm. hey. lol I didn't know it was an occasion!

Anyway, we got there and Stephanie sees her ex man Derrick. And I see this kid I used to think was so frickin hot with his mohawk and various piercings. He had shed the mohawk for a baseball cap. Not a fair trade. But shall we look at this kids resmue of what we know of him so far: He's like... 16 or 17 and goes to the skating rink. -1 point (yes I was there but I was helping babysit... diffrence), he has a car +1 point, its a dodge -1 point. He got rid of the mohawk -1 point. He has really hot piercings +2 points. he was hanging out with Derrick -1 point. (I know I don't know Derrick persay, but he came off as an asshole.) anyway, after I talked to the kid that used to have the mohawk for like 10 minutes we had to leave cause we left at 8:30 thankfully, I hate it there. Anyway, we're leaving and like I didn't say bye, I don't give a shit. He yells "BYE I'LL SEE YOU LATER!!" *I turn around and look at him, I wasn't sure what he said. so I kinda stare oddly at him* And then he goes "By the way nice ass!!" *gives me two thumbs up* So to end the talley +1 point for wanting to say bye to me, -5 points for being a dick head and yelling across the skating rink I have a nice ass. I mean I don't care, its a bunch of scum bags there I don't care what they think. But that doesn't mean you do something like that. So to tally this all together the kid got -7 points. Not worth the time, BUT I will say... hot piercings...

Anyway, then I went over to Stephis house and chilaxed for a bit cause shes cool. And I played with her niece who is sooooo adorable!! She kept looking at my teletubbies shirt and saying "Melmo!" Like elmo but with an M. Shes so cute! I loveseses the baby. :)

And now I'm here writing in my blog, cause my life is THAT exciting! And I bet you all were like hmmm what did Heather do today? Of course you were, thats why your reading my blog! And I can tell you what I'm doing tomorrow too! In the morning I'm going to go to the mall, then in the afternoon I am going to a bridal shower. Then I will come home, and do nothing. Sounds good eh? I thought so too.

*Reverie*

2004-07-15T21:26:00.000-04:00

Wow thats messed up. I dunno what I did to my blog, oh well. Its pretty funny looking though.

People commented on my blog yesterday. Exciterdering!! Specially cause Istar commented. She has a kick butt blog, specially the entry on the moths and the fry pan... funny stuffs. Sorry I never get comments sides Becca and Colleen so I get very excited. Not that I don't love both of your comments just saying.

Anywho, today was really damn boring. I went to bed at like 1 last night well... morning. And then I had to like throw myself into the shower at 8:30. I ended up being 15 minutes late to work, but its okay cause my boss is in Las Vegas. Shhhhh she'll never know!! Until she looks at my time card of course. But I made it up by staying until 4, and I usually leave at 3:30. So, I doubled the time I owed. See what a good employee I am?

I smell something and it kinda smells faintly like burning plastic. But I have come to the conclusion my cat can tell the future, and if shes not freaking out neither am I. lol Its probably just my neighbors doing something retarded... what a suprise.

Hopefully Adam will get on tonight!! Cause I have tomorrow off and so I have a strong desire to hang out with him and rape him. Okay just kidding about raping him... I'm not allowed. lol

Eric and Catie O. are going through seperation anxiety. I'm not sure where Eric is Caties info says he is "300 miles away". Maybe he went to Canada... who knows. But people should stop whining. I know thier all desperatly in love with each other but come on. Suck it up people.

Okay, now that I'm done bashing a beautiful and intimate relationship I feel my work is done. Laters yalls.

*Reverie*

2004-07-14T21:20:00.000-04:00

I went to library today to scan my dance pictures and this girl comes up to me and she goes on about what a great show recital was. She and her mom went both nights and I had my dance pictures with my (obviously) since I was scanning them and she all asked for one and she talked about how she wanted to take dance next year and she wants to comepete and stuff. I dunno, it was cool I'm glad she liked recital and I felt all special she knew me from the show. It was one of those I don't hate people as much as usual moments. Only because I'm feeling all anti-social today for some reason.

I dunno I'm wierd. Well I'm outta stuff to talk about so I'm gonna go wait for someone half interesting to get on.

*Reverie*

2004-07-14T20:08:00.000-04:00

I wish I had had a full line in this picture. But the fact I was actually balancing caught me off gaurd and Jim just snapped it. The sad thing was I wasn't concentrating on the face I made... so thats what I look like when I'm concentrating.. pretty scary eh?

2004-07-14T20:03:00.000-04:00

See my cooltabulous modern picture?! Sorry I scanned this picture and my solo picture so your gonna have to look at them now! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Posted by Hello

2004-07-14T17:40:00.001-04:00

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

She must rinse this all away
She can't hold him this way
She must rinse this all away
She can't love him this way

How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
She needs to be held in his arms to be free
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man...

And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed
What could be the worse than leaving something behind?
And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow
It's loneliness she finds
If only he was mine....

She must rinse this all away
She can't hold him this way
She must rinse this all away
She can't love him this way

Pretty good song, I loves it bunches.

*Reverie*

2004-07-14T12:34:00.000-04:00

I'm on my lunch break and I have to get back to work. Which I hate. All the part timers leave at like 12:30 and I'm stuck there until 3:30... all alone... Well not all alone, there is this really bitchy old lady I have to sit with. Well shes not really bitchy shes just anal retentive about everything. God I hate my job. But it has its perks. Like I get to pretty much pick my own hours. I get days off whenever I need them, and in general its good company. Cept the old lady. But the part time workers are cool. We have 4 new ones, I don't like them that much. Thier boring, the only person I l like there is Justin. He kicks some ass cause he's hella loud and obnoxious. Like myself, so we get along well. And have some interesting conversations.. such as... tying fire cracker to a cats tail. hahaha We're so bad. lol The other workers are all new so thier all Oh must be quiet! Must work!! They don't really know the rules yet shall we say. So thier all anal retarded. Hopefully they'll loosen up at some point. Well I gotta get back to work... whoohooo... more folding papers!!! SCORE!!!
Posted by Hello

2004-07-13T20:13:00.000-04:00

Heres a picture of our modern dance. Well its only Eden... but its still a nice picture. I'm sorry everyone, I have this really cool new picture poster and I'm like obsessed with it... I'll stop now though.

2004-07-13T20:11:00.000-04:00

This is a picture of all of us in American Life, Brandi sent it to me last night. As you can see... I'm the one thats really demonic looking in the back row. Ya can't miss me, I have like... shadows across my face and look really creepy... lol

2004-07-13T19:14:00.000-04:00

Went to work today, wow I felt like I was there forever and ever... then I came home and slept until six cause I went to bad at like... 1 yesterday and then I had to get up at 8 so I needed some nappage.

I had a rant I was going to go on about hating TV that I made up in the shower this morning cause I always think real good in there. But now I can't remember it... well I remember one part its about Full House.

See in the theme song it starts out "What ever happened to perdictibility?" Okay, now people... if your life is more predictable than an episode of Full House you should just go die right now... I'm just kidding. lol But what they are going for is something along the lines of "oh look at our lives, we're just like you and we have the same problems as you do!" Which is such crap, until Bob Saget is my father and John Stamos's bedroom is across the hall from mine I cannot begin to relate with you any of you. I'm sorry, but I find TV so annoying. I am yet to ever see a TV show that is realistic. Because, no ones life is that exciting!!! If there was a realistic TV show it would be comprised of epoisodes revolving around minuimum wage jobs at Burger King and at all times there would be at least one character with a zit. People would not wake up with perfect make up on and there would be at least one pot head thats always high and everyone just ignores him. Thats real TV right there my friend. lol I'm sorry, I don't know where this came from I just dislike TV, cept comedy central and BestWeek Ever and those I love the 80's shows... and iron chef... and once and awhile Will & Grace cause you can't go wrong with that show. lol

Becca has an away message up thats all happy happy joy joy I'm at the movies wheeehooo! And then its all "Heather- im me if you get on I wanna talk to you later..." I got the dots. The dots are never good no matter what and I didn't get no smilies or nuffin. I think I'm in trouble though I don't know what I did... << look I put dots cause its not good. See? Dots mean trouble.

I must go, someones info is bringing back terrible terrible memories... so I am going now before I die... Its not like she means to bring back the memories cause she doesn't even know the story just... key words. I don't know, I'm not putting it in my blog but if you wanna know just ask. =P

*Reverie*

2004-07-12T22:03:00.000-04:00

You light me up and then I fall for you.
You lay me down and then I call for you.
Stumbling on reasons that are far and few,
I’d let it all come down and then some for you...

2004-07-12T18:14:00.000-04:00

Maybe today you can put the past away.

I don't know where that came from but I'm listening to Jumper and that line just kind of jumped out at me... haha jumper... jumped out... wow I'm so tricky and I don't even know it. hehe

Recital weekend is over, my pending ulcer from rehearsal week is gone and all stress is off. At least for another year. Today was nice, I made up for all the eating I have been lacking this week. Considering my diet has been made up of drive through pre packaged crappy food. I had no work or any responsibilities so I slept until noon, came down stairs turned on the TV and fell asleep again until like 3. After I finish this I am gonna read everyones blogs and see what I've missed this weekend. Hopefully nothing terribly exciting.

All the shows were good I didn't mess anything majorly up which is always a nice feeling.. well except the Friday show.. during the finale Kristyn and I are supposed to jump out and then all dancify around the stage and umm.. well I was changing my shoes and suddenly I looked out and there was Kristyn jumping and I was supposed to be and I was standing there with one shoe on cursing. It wasn't pretty. This led into me messing up a whole bunch of the crap on that part BUT then it was over, life resumed. Because I have this new theory about recital that I made up when I was trying to comfort a little girl close to tears back stage. Ask yourself "Is it over?" if you can answer yes to the question then forget about it, life goes on. And Friday night I got an award for like.. growing up this year which is nice they noticed. Cause I think I have so ya know, gotta love when people actually notice and then acknowledge your personal growth. And I got a Booster Club award, which is good cause I'm poor.

Cinderella went well too, everyone loved it so I'm glad we pulled it off. My favorite part was when Darci turned into the fairy godmother cause of the fog it looked like a dream it was so cooltabulous! If you didn't go to the ballet you totally missed the coolest thing ever!

My solo... haha.. yeah. I didn't do terribly. I messed up the first thing I do... which is like... this leg grabby... panche... thinger... but that was about all.. My mom even referred to it as "nice" which is good for her considering she hates my solo. But I forgot to wear my black shoes which sucks cause then I have nice lines. But I like barefoot better. I mean I didn't like "accidently on purpose" forget them, seriously I didn't. I just... I was all freaking out about it I didn't relieze I didn't wear them until I was changing into the finale costume.

OH OH!!! I didn't mess up my tap dance!!!!!!!! MUWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA We did it two times and I didn't mess it up either time. This was like.... major major accomplishment for me. Sorry I'm done.

Anyway, after recital my mom and I were talking about what I was going to do for my solo next year. She is driving me nuts. She doesn't tell me what to do or anything she just hints really strongly. She doesn't like modern, well she likes my modern group dance but thats all. She doesn't like my solo, she doesn't like any of the songs I am thinking about doing next year and shes a pain in the ass. She told me I should do tap, oh of course mom... I told her I suck tap and shes all ".....you could get better..." Its like thanks mom... what a great idea. I love modern, thusly I want to do a modern solo. I like tap, I don't love tap. Theres a diffrence. She keeps telling me no one wants to see someone go up on stage in all black and be depressing. Now first off, my solo isn't depressing its realistic and I can relate to it so well and thats why I love it. Second of all I'm not going to suggest a dance to Amy just because my mom wants me to. If given the option of what kind of dance I want to do I'm going to do something I like, because frankly I would rather get up there and dance to something I can relate to and love then get up there and do something I don't even like...like tap. Well I like tap, obviously or I wouldn't take it but you know what I mean.

Anyway, next year if I did abstracty type modern I would do this cool remix I found of Six Feet Under, or this Cirque de soliel song I downloaded thats so cool but I don't know the title come some dork labelled it wrong. If I do a solo like I did this year kind dark modern but with a good theme there is this song by Marilyn Manson called Coma White that I love soooo much! And its a good song too theres nothing bad in it and I could totally get into it... meh heres the lyrics I don't know I have to share it.

Theres something cold and blank behind her smile
She's standing on an overpass
In her miracle mile
[coma:]
"You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away"

A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself

Her mouth was an empty cut
And she was waiting to fall
Just bleeding like a polaroid that
Lost all her dolls
[coma:]
"You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away"

A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
[chorus repeat]

Now obviously this song wouldn't be about me since I'm not on like... anti depressents. But I can still relate to it because its about someone on them and I have faarr too many friends on them and this song just completly gets me going in that angry kind of way. I don't know, doctors that just keep giving out pills because they think they will solve everything piss me off. The only part I don't like about it is there is this like... screamy guitar part. I don't know... maybe Amy won't go for it because its Marilyn Manson or something. In which case there is this Vanessa Carlton song called Twilight that I really liked awhile ago and I heard it again at the picnic and its cool stuffs. But we're going for the Marilyn Manson song... or maybe I'll just burn a CD with all these songs on it and ask Amy to pick one. Or maybe she already has a song or maybe she won't like any of them... I dunno. But if I did Vanessa Carlton it might just shut my mom up, which would be nice. But I would rather do Coma White.. I'm just saying... I don't know I'm going to shut up about dance now because really and truly I have a life outside of dance.

Speaking of which I'm sick of typing on here and ignoring all the cool people on AIM so... adios...

*Reverie*

2004-07-12T00:20:00.000-04:00

Went to the ABC picnic tody, fun stuffs. I love those girls so much!! MUWHAHAHA!! "GIRLS DON'T LIKE BOYS GIRLS LIKE CARS AND MONEY!!" hahaha we have the best times ever! We had this realllly long talk for like two hours about such crap. And we told these terribly dirty jokes and it was so fun (Why did the pervert cross the road? = BEST joke ever!! And Kristyns never ending questions... *snore* Sandpaper Sally!! *snore* hahahahaha). I love you guys!! :)

I went to Kmart today to get some sun lotion for the picnic and I saw Adam. I was excited. I mean nothing embarressing happened, like last time I saw him. But regardless, it was nice. I miss him.

I will talk about recital in tomorrows blog, I'm too tired tonight and I just want to go to sleep. But beforehand I thought I would say I love my dancers.... that and I wanted to see if Tamara/Brad was on AIM because I accidently brought home thier grandmas sweatshirt... oops...

*Reverie*

2004-07-11T13:28:00.000-04:00

Ah the first time all weekend have been able to sit down and write in my blog. My moms watching some touchy feely movie on tv, my dads working in the yard, and I'm here writing in my blog. Everything is back to normal. Its a nice feeling.

Well.. nevermind my mom wants me to clean the house... then I have the picernic to go to...soooo.... nvm... I'll write in here some other time when my mom isn't cracking to whip of house cleaning doom.

Just thought I would tell you all I'm still living... hehe

*Reverie*

2004-07-07T22:10:00.000-04:00

Okay okay, so I have been told to lighten up on my self bashing in dance. So here is my one word review of rehearsal today I'm-so-tired-then-I-messed-up-my-solo-well-not-really-I-was-just-tired-and-falling-all-over-the-stage-but-modern-entrance-is-so-cool-I-feel-very-bat-like-Edens-solo-was-soo-cool. There, you can't say I'm taking dance too seriously if I only give a one word review. And yes, thats one word... its just... long and hyphinated.

MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...*ahem*...sorrry...I'm good.

So lets see... now that I'm not talking about dance I have so many other things to talk about... like.. and then... Okay not really, I do have a life though!!!! I do!!! Don't laugh at me...

Theres umm... OH! I know. Stephanie wants to make Franny play in my back yard. Yes thats right, she wants this kick ass college band to come play in my backyard. On my street full of scumbags. I told her if she wanted to come clean all the dog poo out of my yard she can do whatever she wants. She swears she will do it, yeah okay. We'll see how long this lasts. lol

Ummm oh theres boys too! Umm... well actually I have nothing interesting to talk about in the guy department.

Alright alright, I'm just getting off. Cause I have nothing to talk about...

*Reverie*

2004-07-06T22:41:00.000-04:00

Oh the tiredness. Dance rehearsals have been so painfully long. And running on little sleep did nothing to improve my preformance. But more on this later.

Adam actually got on last night, may we all "oooh" and "ahh" at this. Thats right people, the boy did what he said he was going to do. I was very excited, and he actually talked to me I didn't have to start the conversation. Good sign eh? And then we talked for a bit and I asked him about Saturday, he apologized and gave a rather lame excuse but I'll let it slid cause if I did it I would want him to forgive me. And then we talked somemore about pretty much nothing, then he asked me to hang out with him the next day, which was today. I couldn't of course because I had dance rehearsal. Which sucked, I mean rehearsal didn't (well actually it did) but thats not what I meant. But I wanted to hang out with him soo very much, I mean... this was the first time in ages that I wanted to be somewhere besides dancing. May we all take a moment of silence for this milestone............ Okay moment's over.

So I was up late talking to him and then I called Steph and so I didn't get to bed until like 1:30. Then at 5:30, right in the middle of very deep sleep my mom comes barging in my room and makes me pack the truck with all my dance stuff for rehearsal. So I really didn't sleep well last night. And then I had like an 8 hr rehearsal today, it didn't start off too hott.

The first thing we did was Cinderella. Me and Becky (my fairy partner) get onstage and the stage is SOOO slippery. So I'm trying really hard not to fall on my but while looking graceful. I am not that good at multitasking. Me and Becky totally messed it up. Well not really Becky, mostly me. Actually probably all me, but regardless Miss Amy was yelling about how me and Becky are usually so together and how we were falling apart. Which we were... it didn't really help make me feel any better. So basically it started off pooey. Then we went through the first act, I don't think I danced much in that cause I don't remember any of it.

Then we did finale which was interesting, Cynthia always holds my ribbon for me because it seems sometimes that as soon as I get off I'm back on stage. And I went backstage and I was lacking in not only a ribbon but Cynthia. I end up just picking one up off the floor, whosever I stole.. I'm sorry. I asked Cynthia later if she had gotten lost or something. I mean the girl isn't like my lackey or something but she is always there holding it for me and without her I was so very lost. But from what I'm told some girl that will go unnamed came up to Cynthia, saw she was holding two ribbons and took one. When she said the ribbon the girl just took was mine the girl replied "I don't fucking care," and just walked away. Gotta love that.

And then later we were doing the modern part and Amy said many times that we don't run off, but for some retarded reason I just opened my big mouth and was like "Wait.. what do we do when we run off?" and this erupted into "NO ONE runs off!!" and involved asking all of the parents that were watching if she had not just said that no one runs off. I felt very very retarded and sputtered various apologies. I could have made it worse and had said "I didn't hear you," but I didn't, cause I did hear her it was just some retard moment... I'm so good at those.

Then at the end of the finale we a bunch of us get to run down the asiles. Which is so very very exciting! But very hard too, because we have to run like the wind out the back doors, down the hall and back in the front doors. As Darci put it its like "RUNNNNNNNN!!! slam into wall!!! Keep RUNNING!!!!!!" Its soo fun! hehe Unfortunatly the walls at the school are like jagged rocks, I don't know why. Perhaps this is to prevent kids from smushing each other against the walls in a passionate making out frenzy. But regardless they are hard and jaggedy and when I took a corner in whole RUNNNN!!! run I put my hand on the wall to steady myself and I stratched it all up. It hurt! But its much better now.

Then we did the second act and I messed up my tap dance, and my jazz... and my lyrical. So basically... I messed up everything. Suprise suprise. But tap at the end I was supposed to do a triple, so of course I do a double. Then after that I was supposed to do a double... so I do a single. What the hell. I didn't even know what I was doing, had Amy asked me I probably just stared blankly. And we rushed the stop time, which was gay. I knew we were rushing but once we start rushing you can't slow down or you will be the odd man out and make the class sound like crap. Then during jazz I don't know what the heck happened!!! I was dancing just fine and dandy and I got the most painful cramp EVER in my calf. I mean, I get cramps in the arches of my feet and stuff but I never usually cramp up. And it hurt SOO bad and I tried to keep dancing but it was just like no...not working. And I was forced to sit on the floor in a semi fetal position in everyones way while I waited it to lessen so I could keep dancing. I was so very very mad... and lyrical.. well I always screw over lyrical. I'm so bad at it, I mean I suck at everything but lyrical tonight was like... really bad. I was way off, my spacing sucked, and the panche at the end oh don't even get me started. Ever since I screwed up my foot my panche has sucked major ass cause I can't balance for shit. It makes me so frickin mad!!! But I promised Amy I would fall flat on my face at recital before I put my hands out to catch myself. So... lets hope it doesn't come to that eh?

Well I have typed MORE than enough for tonight, I'm off to go do other things. Like talk to my Becca, :)

*Reverie*

2004-07-05T18:34:00.000-04:00

I love you, I hate you, I can't get around you. I breathe you, I taste you I can't live without you.

Yeah soooo I tried really really hard to hate Adam. And since last night I have been doing rather well. See what happened was he signed on for like 10 minutes and signed off without talking to me. And I wasn't going to talk first, he was the one that didn't call me. Yes, I'm a stubborn asshole. But I think it was deserved. Anyway, so I was grumpy about that, I know its so petty but that doesn't matter. I can be immature if I want to! You can't tell me what to do! haha =P

Anyway, the reason I'm having problems hating the kid is I saw him today. Well see, I went to Kmart to do some last minute recital shopping and we pulled in and I saw his car and I was like.. oh damn it... my mom tried to park by it and I was like MOM No! Park over there!! She was all "what its not like Adams going to come out and see it," and I was all "Its the principal of the thing!" then we went in and bought all the crap I needed and Adam works check out so I was like stalling.. dragging my mom around the store. See, if I went to his asile it would seem like I didn't care he didn't call. Now if I didn't go his asile he might think I hated him. Which I don't, I just...was grumpy at him... But he was moving some carts so I had a ligitamet excuse not to go in his asile. And he came over and talked to me for a second and I ended up totally flirting with the kid and it was terrible. I didn't want to flirt with him! I wanted to glare and go grrrrrrrrrrrrr! Screw you!! But no! It turned into "So your too good to come to my asile now, I see how it is." Me: "No... you weren't at your asile... I love you Adam!" And then I turned back to chasier and literally growled. I was like.. damn it... It just kind of came out! And with the growling combined with the death stare I gave the chasier on accident I think I scared her. lol I didn't mean to glare at her, she was just in the way. So technically I did glare and go GRRRRR but it was to the wrong person. Anyway I was leaving and I think he said he would be on later. I don't know.. he mutters. And so anyway, in conclusion... he has no idea I'm angry at him. I mean I'm not really annymore, its so hard to be angry at someone so oblivious and so completly huggable. Curses...

In other news I got two new shirts today at Hot Topic. One is the teletubbies. haha It was 4.50 and it says Big Hug! on the front. You can't go wrong with that. And the other is a mens extra extra large and its awesome on the front it has a picture of a loaf of bread and in large letter it says "Man cannot live on bread alone..." and then in smaller letters it says (Unless he's in a cage and thats all you feed him.) I find it to be quite the knee slapper.

Well I'm going to go do other things... maybe wrap recital presents which I finally finished making at 1 AM. But I stay up that late like everynight so its no prob bob.

*Reverie*

2004-07-04T22:55:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th!

I watched Bruce Almighty today, it was an okay movie. Jim Carey of course was funny. But as soon as he got the powers of God he did such stupid things. First thing he did, run home and get laid. What the crap you have a steady girlfriend.. you can get laid whenever you want... do something usful!! Man first thing I would do would be like something important. Like ending world hunger or something. After which I would make myself a good dancer. I mean I don't have to be a prima ballerina or something. But better than as sucky as I am now of course I could do this myself with some work... but if I had the powers of God I wouldn't need that hehe. Then I would make Brandonn impotent and no matter how much natural male enhanment is used he will be forced to be sexually frustrated the rest of his life. Then I would give Adam gonneria (sp?). Stephanie and I decided this is fair punishment because its cureable. Not like I'm wishing oral herpes on him or something... anyway.

I started getting ready for recital tonight. Yeah go me, two days before dress rehearsal I start to get ready. I'm so smart. I am making Steph come to recital, well Steph and Katie but Steph is spending the night. So I'm excited. But getting ready is a pain in the butt. Apparently, even though I THOUGHT I kept all my dance stuff together. This is a lie, I found so much crap I needed randomly around my house. And I worked on my recital gifts, which I am almost done making. I have 4 left. I want to give out like daisys with them too. And I have to buy candy for the young un's.

Well I'm done for the night, I'm pissed off at someone which I will go into tomorrow.

*Reverie*

2004-07-03T18:51:00.000-04:00

Well if its to anyones interest I am no longer sulking. As in my 2nd to last blog I was angerily sulking and then the last one I sulked in an apologetic fashion. But I am no longer sulking cause today wasn't too terrible. It wasn't amazingly good, but it wasn't too terrible either.

It started off when I went to work. WHOOOHOOOO... I folded papers for 2 hours and got numerous paper cuts. Then Amy picked me up and I babysat Kenzie and Jake for awhile. They were really good today. We made balloon people, which after I took my balloon home and left it unattended my cat murdered and we watched Cat in the Hat which is really more adult then it should be. I felt bad laughing at the jokes cause Kenzie and Jake didn't get them so they were asking me what they meant and I was like Umm... I don't know... Yeah, oh well. Then we went outside and they played with thier bikes while I looked at clouds. I was trying to figure out what shape they were but I couldn't eventually Kenzie and Jake came over and layed down next to me and immediatly saw animals. Jake even saw an ardvark which after he pointed it out I saw it too. At that moment I felt very old because I can't see animals in clouds anymore. Then I was going to go to Brandis shin dig but I couldn't get ahold of my mom which made me pout because I wanted to go and eat hot dogs. Amy told me if I wanted to come later I could call and she would come pick me up but I don't know Brandis number and I would feel bad making her come pick me up. So thats not happening. I can sit home its alright, I did fine doing it last night. lol Well actually I didn't, as you read I went into a downward morbid depressing spiral. But thats a diffrent story. Back to my day, after I got home I was lookin through my dance pictures and they came out pretty good this year. My mom doesn't like my solo picture cause I look evil. She only likes my ballet and tap cause I'm smiling. Which I do all the time, but when on a regular basis do I walk around looking like I'mma kick someones ass. Never, so obviously I like that picture better. lol Then I worked on recital present, which is a pain in the butt. I'm making them all by hand and I have like 15 to do.. after an hours work... I have 3 done. Its gonna take forever but I think thier pretty darn cool. Actually they are pretty lame, but I'm gonna try to pull them off as cool.

Colleen and I are plotting my revenge on Adam. Which I have no desire to have revenge on him cause I'm not a spiteful bitch. BUT its fun anyway. Here are our plans thus far:

Plan A: Hire an old lady to go through his line at Kmart and take a shit so he has to clean it up. (this has actually happened to him before, but I didn't pay the lady she just had no control of her bowels... poor Adam...)

Plan B: Go to his asile and mess up the candy and newspapers. I guess Colleen has studied Adam while he works and she says he is anal retentive about the candy and such in his asile. She claims "Everyime he isn't checking someone out he is arranging the candy and crap so everything is perfect." No I didn't pay her to spy on Adam, she is just observant like that I suppose.

Plan C: (possibly the best plan) Steal an electronic wheelchair from Kmart, afterwards stock up on toilet paper and eggs. Go to his house late at night. You know where this is going people. Of course this wouldn't ever work, I dunno where he lives nor do I have a desire to hijack an electronic wheelchair from Kmart for Colleen.

Of course I will never do any of this, I don't hate Adam and I'm not into revenge. But its so funny to think of. I feel very mean posting this blog with all this anti Adam stuff. I'm not anti Adam, he just sucks.

*Reverie*

2004-07-02T22:33:00.000-04:00

Okay I retract all the swearing from my last blog. I also retract all of the anger I portrayed toward Adam. No I haven't talked to him and heard his side of the story or anything but I suddenly miss him so very much. I don't feel well either and I wish I had someone to talk to to distract me. Stephi isn't on and so I'm really lonely. I don't know its just that at night I always talk to Stephanie because she goes through the same thing I do every night. I don't know how to explain it its just like the darker it gets outside the more I feel trapped and alone. And I hate the feeling more than anything else in the world. Thats why I talk to her on the phone for hours at night. Last night we were up until 3 AM being retarded and it was so fun and I didn't even think about being alone. So yeah thats why I talk to Steph so much, she gets everything. I love her so very very much!! Oh Stephis on now so I can go get not lonely! Laters!!!

*Reverie*

2004-07-02T20:39:00.000-04:00

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend. You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living it. And if you do not want to see me again I will understand.

So my new theory on Adam is he needs to go fuck off. He makes a date with me and doesn't keep it, yet is yet to get in contact with me and tell me he can't come. Okay, you don't understand so let me break it down for you. Adam asked me to go to the movies Monday, we didn't work out the details because... oh heck we had all week. How stupid of us because I talk to Adam like... twice a month. So Tuesday goes by and so does Wednesday. Wednesday night I convince my mom to let Adam drive me up to Oneonta. I was so very excited she said he could. But I still am yet to tell him because he is never on, and I tried to call Wednesday but he was in Binghamton and would be home late. Thursday comes and it occurs to me that the date is supposed to be tomorrow. Fortunatly Stephanie and I went for a walk and ran into him. I was so happy to see him it was pathetic. I mentioned I could go Friday and he could drive me. The response I get: a half hearted "Oh yeah?" or it was something that effect while he avoiding eye contact. This is an immediate like... stop the presses what the hell was that. He is the one that asked me, Jesus I wasn't forcing the kid to go with me. So I have a rather bad vibe about the whole date after that but I was hoping it was my paranoid/pessimistic side kicking in so I just ignored it. That night I staked out my computer from like 9 to 11 in hopes he would get on at some point. Of course not. The reason I needed to talk to him was because if he even did want to go on the stupid date I had no idea when it was. So this morning I keep the phone lines open, hey he might call. At 3 I had to go to work but I even came home early at 4:30 and checked if he called. No that would be silly why would he have called? I stayed off my computer until 5ish, then I got on thinking "hey last time he needed to talk to me he got online." He wasn't on, I called his house at 5:30 to get no answer. I tried again at 6:00 and got the same thing. Its about 8:15 now, I have seen no trace of the ever illusive Adam on the internet. And I don't give a shit if he has tried to call and the phone line has been busy because I'm on my computer. I wish I could just tell him to go to hell, but unfortunatly when I do get to talk to him I know the only thing thats going to come out is "Oh its no big deal, maybe we can hang out some other time." cause I'm too damn nice. But I do hope he is having a really great time wherever he is... asshole.

In other news, my Bookhouts are back from thier vacation. The jist I got out of it was there was a lot of fighting and watching TV. Which is silly because they could have just done that at thier own house. Well actually they couldn't have watched TV. So maybe not.

Well all that Adam ranting has worn me out. Until next time folks.

*Reverie*

2004-06-30T16:53:00.000-04:00

Today was cool beans. This morning I skidaddled over to Brandis to help with scenerey. After which I went canoeing with my parents. The forced family bonding is such poo. It wasn't terribly horrific though, I got some sun which was nice but I feel a nice burn coming on cause I laid out on the dock. There was no one at the damn and it was so prettyful. I'm going to have a tan line... I can actually already see it and I just got home. This pisses me off, I have recital coming up and I have no intentions of being the fairy with the farmers tan. Thankfully I have no dance class tomorrow because I know my arms are going to be killing me.

Adam asked me to the movies Friday and I convinced my parents to let him drive me. I hope he gets on tonight so I can tell him I can go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry... I'm good now. I just miss him so very very much.

Alright I'm done now.

*Reverie*

I know your still there, saving me... raping me... I can feel you pull me down.

2004-06-27T21:29:00.000-04:00

Today was fun stuffs, I went to Edens grad party. My Edens alll growdeded up! *sniffle* We all had fun though between frosting fights (Kristyns a smurf!!! and Brad had it up his nose. hehe), smores, and sparklers it was great stuffs.

There is a Liz girl that is reading Rachels blog is startin to piss me off. I mean, I don't like certain people. That doesn't mean I go be a douche bag and leave little comments in thier blog. You meet people on this planet you don't like, you can't get along with all 9 billion of us. Or something like that I dunno the real number. But I mean, really here if I acted out on all the people that I didn't like I'm pretty sure I would have my hands full. I dunno, all I'm saying is that its so stupid... people need lives. Really and truely.

Well I'mma go stake out AIM and hope someone interesting gets on...

*Reverie*

2004-06-25T22:10:00.000-04:00

Alright alright, so tonight I went to see The Notebook with my Bookhouts. I give it two thumbs up. The main actor was gorgeous... I'm still drooling... and the main actress was pretty and she wasn't skanky. Such a rarity in todays films. And the old people that played were so cute!!!!! Not like.. sexually cute of course but cute in that classic old people way. And may I comment this is not a date movie, this is a get all your single friends together for a cryfest type movie. The actors did such a good job, the love they had for each was soo deep. I mean yes it was acting but it was so believable. And definatly made me jealous.

Oddly enough throughout various points in the movie I thought of Adam, (despite recent events that I am not writing in my blog). Maybe because Adam is blonde and so was the main actor? Doubtful eh? Probably because I misseseses my Adam and his big ol' earrin'. I need to figure out when he works at Kmart and go see him. Tell him to get his butt online so I can talk to him once in awhile. Oh well, even if I don't I have all next year I suppose.

Well I'mma do other things now.

*Reverie*

2004-06-24T22:11:00.000-04:00

Whats up my homies? Hehe sorry I'm bored but I'm also kinda hyper. Cause I'm listenin to this cooltabulous song Brandi told me to download. Well actually its the remix of the song (Its called Six Feet Under, well its the theme song to that movie. But then they put a bass behind it and its technoified but in a good way) *bops* Yeah I wanna dance to it, unless I find somethin else. I dunno its pretty cool so it'll be hard to top. lol But despite the obvious draw of its cool noises I want something deep and emtional. If only I could find a deep song with cool noises. Its a tricky thing to do. lol

Today was... umm...well it was a day, and its consisted of 24 hours, and it was a Thursday. And thats all I'm going to say about what happened today.

The End.

*Reverie*

I may regret what I've done, but hey at least I had some fun. =D

2004-06-23T14:05:00.000-04:00

I really don't feel like going to work today... *makes face* I want the money though because dddeeeeeppppppppp down I'm a tiny bit capitalist. lol So I went to the store today and got todays paper cause I'm hoping Amy put in either my solo or our modern picture. Course I sat down and searched the paper and only found two pictures of Brandonn, and one of Eden and various other seniors that I'm going to miss sooo much!! But I just found it ironic since Brandonn was in the paper last week and I just started buying that paper last week so every issue I have involves Brandonn. Cept I don't wanna see Brandonn cause he moved away and I miss him and forgetting him would be considerably easier then having to see his picture everywhere. So in conclusion... Curse the Tri-Town and graduation came too soon.

But then again if I was graduating I would feel diffrently. lol I think I'm going to go to graduation just to see them all again. All of them are such characters its crazy. Our class isn't even half as cool. Its so very very sad to know I won't see them on a regular basis ever again. [insert sniffilage here] Even though I don't like/know 75% of them theres still the 25% I do know and love. lol So I might just make Becca go with me cause I know she has been thinking about it.

*Reverie*

Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

2004-06-23T10:23:00.000-04:00

Ring around the rosey, pocket full of posey. Ashes to ashes, we all fall down... Gravedigger, when you dig my grave could you make it shallow? So that I can feel the rain.

I love that song sorry didn't mean to put a negative vibe on this entry but I'm listening to its so good. Edens dancing to it and its SOOOOO awesome. She showed me it she has like 40 seconds done but its soo funtabulously amazing. Everyone needs to come see it, well everyone needs to come to recital anyway.. As I put it to Katie and Steph... "what are you doing Saturday July 11th at 7PM?... well lemme tell you what your doing your comin to my recital dang it!" And so now they're coming. =D Sorry had to do a recital promo at some point, you all knew it was coming. lol

Yesterday was my last test!!!!!!!!! You have no clue how excessivly happy I was when I got out it was like SHABAM!!!! Just like that, cept not quite... it was a little diffrent. lol And I found out how I did on the finals and I am going to brag on here and I don't care. lol Math A Regents (which I retook): 84 (2 points higher than last time and only one point under mastery level I was so peeved...), My Global History Regents: 88, Biology Regents: 93 (HELLS YEAH!! lol Sorry... done.), and then I gotta 95 on my English final. I don't know what I got on my Spanish Regents.. as long as I passed is all I care about I never want to sit in that class again... ever...

Anyway after tests I hung out with my Becca. I loveses her so much :) We playeded video games and she ended up kicking my butt towards the end but its all good ("Somersault!!" Don't ask lol) Then we went to J&V's and pretended we weren't looking for Adam (not my Adam her Adam. lol Theres a diffrence.) Besides he's not MY Adam, I have to continuously tell myself that. Its getting easier now though cause I haven't seen him in awhile. I miss him but hey, life goes on. And I'll see him next year. Of course this leaves my summer goal once again to go man hunting. Which I hate, its so boring and costs money (for like.. tickets to get into places and new outfits and crap and crap and more crap) which I dislike cause I'm a cheap basterd. I think decent guys should just show up on spontainously on my door step. Would make my life hella easier...

Well I'm outta stuff to talk about.

*Reverie*

Constant overstimulation numbs me, but I would not want you any other way. How can this mean anything to me? When I really don't feel anything all. Well I'll keep digging, until I feel something.

2004-06-20T19:56:00.000-04:00

Alright, so Rachel has this new blog reader. I dunno how some of these people get her blog name but oh well. lol Anyway, his entire blog is devoted to the study of sexuality. Its so completly ridiculous. I read some of the entries and they are just silly. For example, one entry wondered why women though we care slightly about looks care more about how men make us feel. While men only care about looks and sex. This question is easiably answerable if you look at it in a scientific type way. Back in the day when we were all a bit more barbaric and instinctual. Men only cared about passing on thier DNA to many offspring in order to ensure its survival. So they looked for the healthiest women around to do this with. This translates today into men are horny pigs that only want to have sex with hot chicks. Then the whole thing about women, well back in the day we wanted a decently healthy guy that will stay around and protect and help raise the kids. So they want someone they feel safe and protected with. So that means in todays society chicks dig movies like "The Notebook" because the men take care of the women and make them feel special. Now I don't know if that made sense to you but it made sense to me darn it. lol

And another thing about this guys blog, and put at the top that there is a 50% divorce rate in America, and he asks why the other 50% lives in like a painful terrible marriage. So basically he is asking why everyone isn't divorced because marriage is obviously SO pointless. And I just wanna tell him to shut the crap up. You can't say ALL marriages are crap. As I use for an example everytime I talk about love/marriage look at my parents. They have been together 20 years and get along just fine and they are still crazy in love with each other. So you can't go saying all marriage is crap.

So in conclusion!! People doing research on sexuality shouldn't be such complete morons.

*Reverie*

2004-06-20T18:33:00.000-04:00

Hey, I have some good news. My parents told me they would sell me thier car for $1,500. Its a nice car too, a little silver Dodge Stratus. And all you people that are gonna IM me and be like OHHH A DODGE STATRUS HOW COOOOOL in a sarcastic way shut up. lol Its better than your car, which you probably don't even have one... so shut up. lol The only flaw here is the whole... finding the $1,500. I have awhile though... like... a long while... but hey. I have a car coming and its such a positive feeling.

So my day was really boring... so far I've played video games and done my laundry.... whooohoo.. Tomorrow I have no testing though!!! SHABAM!!!!!!!! haha sorry. Then I have my Spanish regent Tuesday, which I'm not worried about. Well I am slightly worried about the compositions... but yeah. I might actually study!!! *gasp* lol Alright, nvm I probably won't. I don't want to fill you all with false hope here.

Alright well I'm out of stuff to yack about. (wheehoo yackity yack don't talk back) Hope I got that song stuck in ALLL of your heads now! MUWHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!...*ahem*...sorry...

*Reverie*

2004-06-19T21:01:00.000-04:00

Heys, today was pretty nice. I'm beat though. x.x << me. lol

Well first off this morning I had a dance out in Afton, went rather well really. I didn't completly screw over my solo and people liked it well enough. I came off the stage panting though, that solo just about kills me everytime I do it. And Kristyn was like "You should work on your cardio." And I'm just like... "yeah... maybe I'll lay off the Cheetos..." Then I went to Amys house and had 4 pieces of pizza. lol They were small though cause it was Pizza Hut pizza so it doesn't really count, its like.. the size of two joe and vinney slices. Oh and here is a story for all of you. Okay so I rode with Amy to the dance out cause my parents went to my grandparents today and when we got there she asked me to que up all the tapes. Well I missed the acro dance. So we all get up there and the kids get on stage and she puts the tape in and we wait... and wait... and finally I hear "Heather Haviland! Did you get this tape ready?" Me from behind the curtains: "Ummm.... yes?" We wait some more, the stereo plays silence. Amy: "You sure?" I poke my head out of the curtain cautiously "Umm... y-no.." Amy gives me this look it wasn't a I'm going to hurt you look or anything it was acutaully quite funny. Amy: "Heather you forgot this tape." Me: "I love you Miss Amy." 0=) Amy: "yeah yeah..." I go hide behind the curtain Amy: "Thats right you go hide behind the curtain now." I dunno it was really funny at the time I probably ruined it now trying to retell it... It just goes to show you all! Don't give me responsibilities!!! lol Anyway, I got home from the dance out and I reliezed I hadn't called my boss to tell her I wasn't going to be at work. I convulsed on the floor for 10 minutes. I am going to get it Monday, I can feel it coming... I did call and leave a message but this was at like 11:30 so it was pretty pointless. Then I sat around and played video games until 4 when I went to Amy's house to babysit for her and Chris so they could go out for thier aniversery. They have good kids, I love em. I'm just very drained now. lol They want to do everything all at once. I did end up teaching Makenzie how to play Mary had a little lamb on her keyboard. She was very excited about it and so I felt happy. =)

So yeah if you read Rachels blog you know how pathetic we are and hew we already looked at prom dresses... lol I wanna post the two I fell in love with on here cause I want everyone to see them they are soooo pretty!!!!!!! here is one: http://www.loralie.com/proms.php3?s=7089 Its all... pretty. And here is my other one that I loove THIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS much! lol http://www.loralie.com/proms.php3?s=7697 I dunno they are both so pretty.... Anyway. I am done now. I'mma go talk to Becca about cars or... something. lol

*Reverie*

2004-06-18T19:21:00.000-04:00

Howwwdyyyyyy yalls!!!!!! Meh that was my enthusiasm for the day. I dunno the past couple days have just been like... blah. I hate everyone. lol I don't really, I am just sick of talking to people. There are like 3 exceptions to this rule. Well that and the people at dance cause I'm never sick of them. Wait I take that back, Wednesday I was teaching and I don't know if it was the heat or what but I wanted to go kamakzi on some of the kids. We have TWO classes until recital and they are just being dork faces and as my mom would put it "piss assin around" I dunno, drove me nuts. Maybe its some teenage thing. I was watching that Ashlee Simpson show today during Monk commercials and I was so jealous of her. Isn't that pathetic to be jealous of a retarded chick? I dunno, she just had a car and her own apartment and I was like... MEH I HATE YOU!! lol I don't even need a fancy apartment/fancy car. I just want one... heck I would even settle for only a car. (Hey I'm dreaming here leave me alone. lol) Sorry I'm done going on my I-want-to-break-away-from-my-parents tangent. hehe

I had a realllly wierd dream last night that I want to say on here before I forget it! (if you don't feel like reading just skip down to where I analyze my own dream lol) Okay so in the beginning a couple guys I know who will go unnamed put me in this hatch under the floor of this basement (I don't know we were at some party I guess) and the hatch was just like this little box that I was all scrunched up in and I was getting really pissed off at them and then they lit the room above me on fire and were laughing when I tried to get out. I finally did though and I think I punched one of em. And if I didn't in my dream I should have. lol Anyway then the next thing I remember is I was diving with some of my friends I don't remember which ones.... though I remember Becca was there. It was cool though cause we could breathe underwater and crap though during the dream I didn't see the big deal in this but now I see how cool it was. lol anyway I saw this really pretty plant so I took a piece of it and then we went back to this island thing I guess we were living on. But by taking this plant I peeved off some chicks ghost that drowned in the ocean (I think this part was playing off The Ring) cause I remember seeing the girl in the water and she looked like the girl from The Ring. Anyway, so we went back to the island and Miss Amy was there. I don't know why she just was. I don't remember much after this. But I remember this transcended into we were trying to leave the island with this big diamond some one found but the water was haunted cause the girl from before and she just wanted to diamond back so I'm telling people to just throw it in the water and give it back but NOOOO no one will listen to me! lol (yeah this a long dream people sorry) anyway, then we left on these little boats and I remember a lot of screaming in my dream because the boats kept sinking and everyone was wigging out. lol That sounds really sadistic. Don't worry I'm wierded out by this dream too. =P So anyway, then we get back to land by we I mean me and my friends and maybe Miss Amy I dunno she may have stayed on the island thing cause I don't remember her in this part. But anyway, when we got back we found out we were REALLLY small. Like the size of bugs. So we were crawling around trying to get away from the people in this village. And then I saw Dann but it wasn't Dann cause this guy was hella hotter than Dann. He just resembled Dann, anyway he was like a asisstant to some guy that kept throwing his shoes at him (him as in the kid that looked like Dann but wasn't). Then we found this cottage full of other little people and thats when I woke up. Mind you I woke up at 4:30 in the morning cause my cat jumped on my face. Darn my cat.

So my theory on this veryyy long dream. The first part is about my social standing at my school. Some guys pretty much ruined my reputation cause they are douche bags and so the fire is the crap they spread around the school. Of course escaping and going up the stairs represents summer. WHHHEHHHOOO! lol The diving part is like the opposite of the fire because I am with my friends and everything is funtabulous. And also I haven't gone swimming in forever and I miss it! Well I mean I have goofed off in a pool but I mean like swimming laps I love that. :) Anyway, we are all happy there and crap then we have to leave because I screwed something up. I don't know what I did in real life but anyway, I don't know what Miss Amy's island represents... maybe since the ocean is my happy place then dance is right in the middle of it? Meh I dunno, I'm over thinking this. Anyway, I remember my parents were there when we tried to go out on the ocean in the boats and they wouldn't leave the diamond. And since the ocean represents my happy free feelings and my parents wouldn't let them be maybe I feel like I'm all being stifled from growing up. Though its not really thier fault, college just isn't coming soon enough. lol Anyway, then we return to the normal world and once again all the adults in the dream are gone and its me and my friends and we are all really small. As in no one cares about our opinions and we are really close to getting stepped on a lot so we have to go hide in the leaves. (hey this is really a my life sucks dream eh? lol Don't worry I don't really think my life sucks. hehe) Then the Dann lookalike cept hotter thing. I don't know, but he is taking a lot of crap from his boss. Maybe Danns becoming a prostitute to "The Capatilist System of America" lmao I have no idea where that came from but you can't go wrong when you put something in quotations. At the end of my dream we find people like us so we are safe. A nice way to end a dream really. :)

Okay I am going to give myself carpletunnel typing so much.

*Reverie*

2004-06-17T21:48:00.000-04:00

Hey yalls. I just feel like talkin, I have no real topic for this blog. I'm just sittin around listenin to Tool cause it reminds me of my Adam. Well he isn't mine, actually I am pretty sure he wants nothing to do with me. I still don't know what the hell I did to deserve this ignorage. If he is playing hard to get it isn't fun anymore. And I thought that was my job since I'm the chick.. And I don't play hard to get anyway, I state my feelings in a very obvious fashion. I dunno, I haven't talked to him since like Monday. It must be like withdrawl. I didn't think I could have withdrawl from something I'm not supposed to be caring about but I'm doing a pretty damn good job. *breathe* Okay, I am done going on my I miss Adam tangent.

Alright I gotta put this song in here its by Ben Folds Five and I can't get over it its awesometabulous. :)

Brick, Ben Folds Five:

6 am day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb

Up the stairs to the apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

They call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
Then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Than she ever has before

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son, it's time to tell the truth
She broke down, and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying

Driving home to her apartment
For a moment we're alone
Yeah she's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

I dunno why I love that song so much but I do. It has a nice piano with it too. I dunno Ben Folds Five is a good band though. :)

*Reverie*